im having same problem and now it looks like we ve got more family coming over from new zealand which we didnt account for, so i understand were your coming from:-)

I have had to be very tight when it comes to my guest list, so I know where you're coming from. First and foremost - just coz they're family doesn't mean they have to come, I have talked it through with my dad and his brothers and sister can't come to the day as inviting one means inviting them all. I have also had to be really cruel when it comes to my friends, but then again I am having a guest list of people who care about me, and him, who we see regularly and who we care about being there, rather than inviting for pomp and ceremony. Good Luck and I hope you find a way of cutting it that works for you.

Failing all else just say "have you any idea how much it costs to have a wedding these days! If it means that much to you come watch through the window while we get married and come to the night do as there just isn't room in the budget for you, you random who I never see, who never rings me to see how I'm doing."

I was going to say to not invite children. Our venue hold a maximum of 100 so I don't want to invite children to our night do ( except our 2 girls and oh's 2 nieces) but oh doesn't think it's a good idea. With alot of his cousins having 3-4 kids each I do! X

I invited all of my family as we're close - then for friends we invited those we're close with but if they're married with kids etc, and we don't know them that well, then I've only invited my friends and not their individual families. As soon as we decided this I emailed/texted friends in said group, and explained that due to numbers was it ok if I only invited them and not the others, I was suprised that all of them were glad to come without their kids and saw it as a day out! Only one asked if her husband and kids could come along as she really wanted us to meet, so I've said that's fine and they're coming to the evening only. My uni friends I've only invited them as two are married with 3 kids each, another two have partners etc, so instead of inviting 14 I've just got the 4 on the list - on the invites which I'm sending out in December I'm writing the individual names of the people I'm inviting so it's clear.

We basically didn't do the 'they invited us to their wedding so we need to do the same' route, we had a think about the people who we wanted most to see us get married - and anyone who we'd not been in contact with for over a year through either emails, person, or FB we decided not to invite. I've also got a friend who I've known for 15 years but since Jan she hasn't been in touch, and hasn't even congratulated us on the engagement - she always assumed she'd be a bridesmaid but as she hasn't been in touch she's not even made the list!

I've also been warned about inviting more so you can count on declines - I've heard that it's rare for people to decline an invitation so don't bank on it! If anything I'd invite who you want to, then if you go below minimum numbers then consider promoting some evening only guests to daytime guests etc...

we aint havin kids at my weddin, and partners only invited if been together at least a year

We decided to only invite children from the immediate family only. That instantly cut our guest list down by 25! (our venue is not particularly child friendly right next to the river!) I decided against inviting most of my family as they dont bother with me at all and we only see each other if there is a funeral, after all it is us who are paying - not my family so thats easier there...also with Kev's friends...i asked if he could invite the 'ravers' to the evening and save seats at the main do for his closer mates. xx
i hope you manage to work it all out - its the biggest headache i have come across so far :) xx

I was having the same issue. We are having just 30 for the whole day. So, I spoke to my mum, and she suggested doing the guests in 'layers'.

So, go back to the start, and put down all the people who definitely have to be there - i.e. Parents, siblings, grandparents. Then put down the people that you couldn't imagine not being there - i.e. close aunts/uncles/cousins, best friends.Then do the people that you probably should invite - distant relatives (or those not so close), old family friends. And lastly the people that you inviting because its polite - i.e. plus ones, friends that suddenly appear when there is free food to be had, your sisters boyfriends cousins waxer, etc etc.

Then start from the invited to be polite layer, and cut from there through the layers until you get the number you want.

Hope this helps. :)

@ OurWeddingBlog - your MIL sounds like she could be a great asset, especially as it's her own family that would suffer the chop if you follow her method. Nobody would dare to argue with her, I'm sure :)

Glad you got it sorted honey. I managed to get my list right down, now when I look at the table settings I think I have to put a couple of people back on the list. But not to worry nowts set in stone until the invites go out, plus I have a couple of people who I can ask to wait outside while we have the ceremony if needs be (the bit where we say I do and namely bridesmaids oh) then they can come to the photos and the meal and the shinanigans.