Its really important to me to have something to remember our loved ones on the day. I had thought about a candle with their names on and a prayer but I couldn't find one to fit all the names on and our reception doesn't allow candles after the breakfast so that would be a shame. Plan 2 was to have a frame with their pictures in and a comment saying who they are and relation to us and a bigger frame in the middle with a prayer.
I have the frames. Got them from £land. 10 small ones (we only need 7 at the moment but as wedding is 2 years away.. don't want to sound morbid but also don't want it to look like we have singled someone out if we cant get another matching frame). also got one bigger one which I will put the prayer in. My problem is finding one which we love.
My favourite is one that was at my nans funeral and each of the familys funeral since then:
They say there is a reason They say that time will heal But neither time nor reason Can change the way we feel For no-one knows the heartache That lies behind our smiles And no-one knows how many times we've broken down and cried We want to tell you something so there wont be any doubt You're so wonderful to think of But so hard to be without We cannot bring the old days back when we were all together The family chain is broken now But memories live forever.
Do you think this is a bit heavy for a wedding?
There are others but I'm not sure if they are too generic for something so personal. I'll put the pics up of them
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Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I think if you've had that at funerals, I would keep it that way and go with one slightly different like the pictures. Just that others may just associate it with death instead of the new beginning of two becoming joined in something so joyful.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorEmily17
I think that's probably my problem, the other 2 aren't connected with the wedding so feel like a similar sort of thing to our prayer but a lighter version. I was thinking of writing my own as I do write poems for people but they are normally stupid and not special and important like this would be. Really not sure what to do about something that means so much :(
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
edited
Yes I like the picture frame, what about some words such as, on this joyous day, we remember those who are no longer with us, but we know their loving presence and spirit are with us today, always and forever x
CommentAuthorleasa
I found keeping it simple was more effective, I had a poster collage on the wall, it had names and who they are, and a caption at the top saying "remembering those watching over from heaven on our special day" It had people in tears, and laughter remembering them .
I also did a brief speech to absent friends and had a place set at the top table for my mum and a drink for her.
Do whatever feels right for you and your day, and your memory of those passed x
Met 30th May 2005
Proposed in Monte Carlo August 25th 2013
Became Mrs K on 30th May 2015
Married my Gorgeous Greek God
I spoke to OH last night about maybe writing our own. We're going to give it a go and see how we do. Id like more than a few words as the people who cant be there mean the world to me. My nan (my only grandparent I knew) My uncle and godfather Phils granddad (I didn't know any of mine so he is like my first granddad)
We've got a little bit done but will probably change a million times.
As you look down from heaven today We hope you share a smile when you glance our way It breaks our hearts you cant be here To share our joy, maybe shed a tear But a part of you will always be Etched in our hearts, minds and dreams You have helped us grow into who we are We hope you are proud when you look from afar.
There are a few other points that we would like to include but by the time we were looking at it last night we were both falling asleep.
What do you think?
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Emily that made me fill up, gorgeous words xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorEmily17
Thanks Leanne, I was crying as we were doing it. Its so hard to know how to word it xx
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Aw, weddings bring a whole range of emotions don't they. I am looking for a poem for our memory board for my mum, I am not very good with words, hoping I will come across one that is perfect. x
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorFlossie
You've made a good start writing your own Emily, the words are lovely.
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorEmily17
from the ones I saw it was easier to find nice ones for 1 person but not for 7
Thank you flossie
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
So lovely, when finished it will be perfect :-)
CommentAuthorNatalieS200
Thats lovely Emily.
I lost my dad in 2013, my nan 6 months later and then my granddad earlier this year and OH has lost all his grandparents so we want to do something similar to what you're doing, need to start researching for it soon xx
CommentAuthorKjs2016
Very interested in this and keen to get some ideas as want to do something for my Mum and possibly grandparents. I considered a seat kept free for my Mum on the top table but not sure how that would work especially for those sitting next to an empty seat! So want her there any way possible but very difficult to know how and also without making it sad. Think I will struggle massively on the day as it is. I took my Mums framed photo to the dress shop with me when trying some on, the lady was very kind and understanding about my strange request lol!
CommentAuthorEmily17
If a parent of mine or OHs dies in the next 2 years I will definitely be doing that and getting a vase of flowers in front of their seat too. They are so close family that I think its important to do something special.
I think its so hard to find something right for you as a couple. One of the other things we thought was to go to the cemetery and leave flowers with a note for everyone but not feasible as split between a few places. We would have done until OHs granddad died then it wouldn't be fair or feasible to travel between the cemeteries.
Its the thing that I have thought the most about so far and that worries me the most. Neither of my parents are in 100% health so is a real worry.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
I am going to take some flowers from the wedding to my mums tree were her ashes are buried under. My grandmother, grandfather and cousin are there too. x
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorleasa
kjs, we put mums empty chair on the end, had a place card, plate and drink. Even my bouquet in a vase.
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Met 30th May 2005
Proposed in Monte Carlo August 25th 2013
Became Mrs K on 30th May 2015
Married my Gorgeous Greek God
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
Lovely words so far Emily. The rest will come in time.
We are hoping to light candles during the ceremony to remember the people no longer with us. I'm also toying with the idea of giving my bouquet to my mum and grandad to lay on my grandmas grave but I'm not sure if they will find it too hard (plus a bit of me wants to keep it for as long as possible as they're real flowers). X
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Kirsty I was going to put my bouquet on my mums grave but then one of my aunties suggested drying it out as a keep sake, so I am going to take flowers from the tables instead, it's still from the day. xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorKjs2016
Thanks Leasa, I'll give it some more thought. Still a lot of time to decide :-) Thanks also for sharing your photos. It is comforting to think others have been through or are going through the same things and questions. For other parties we have had her framed picture on the bar with a glass of red wine (her favourite drink) most haven't found it odd, in fact they generally stand there and have a drink with Mum lol!
CommentAuthorleasa
I don't think anyone will find it odd that you want to include your mum in your wedding!
Alot of our guests sat in her chair and had a drink with her! Thy all said it was a lovely touch as they could almost see her sitting there in a stupid wedding hat being the proud mother of the bride.
As long as it's right for you, others will see the meaning behind anything you choose and they'll all know that your mum is there in spirit watching over you x
Met 30th May 2005
Proposed in Monte Carlo August 25th 2013
Became Mrs K on 30th May 2015
Married my Gorgeous Greek God
CommentAuthorEmily17
edited
I love that people had a drink with her xx
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017