does he like cupcakes? u could have lots of them as a wedding cake and my h2b doesnt dance either, we will just sway lol. xx

You don't have to have a first dance... you can do something else instead.

Well cake is solved lol, its mainly the dance, well we are paying more for the photographer to stay until the first dance is over, he wont sway - he wont even pick the song! I personally would like a first dance.

I know your frustration and how upset you must be feeling, but please try to see it from his angle as well.
He is telling you that he doesnt want all the attention, that he doesnt like cake, and that it is feeling like the worst day of his life. Yes he wants to marry you, and im sure he understands that you want the day to be perfect and sure he does want to give you that.....But is it YOUR day or both of your day? Because if he is feeling that bad about it, then maybe there needs to be more discussion and compromise from both of you?

There were several "traditional" parts of wedding celebrations that one or both of us wasnt too keen on, so we researched the story behind the tradition and found alternatives.
Im sorry this is probably not what you want to read, and like i said i do understand your upset and sympathise....but i just really feel that rather than hearing his words, you need to listen and hear what it is he is really trying to get across to you. Seems as if maybe he is agreeing to a lot of traditions for the sake of having them, and you are just saying "we have to have..." sorry but it is really coming across in your post, "we have to have a cake" "we hahve to have a first dance" have you spoken or thought about if you really have to have those things? Maybe you both could make the reception really about you 2, with whatever you both want and stuff tradition or modernise it, thats what me and h2b are doing.

Well we are cutting speeches out of the day he doesnt want them and im not fussed so it makesnot difference, the cake is there so we dont have to spend entra or giving something sweet out at the reception and my mum is making it so its just there, the dance, yes im happy that people come and join us and i wouldnt be happy staying on my own for 3 minutes on the dance floor but it is important that we do, do it. Im just cross because at the beginning of all this arranging he told me that he didnt want an imput, what ever i wanted was fine, as i was making descions i did consult him on them and he just said, yeh thats fine whatever and now for someone who wanted nothing to do with it and just turn up wants loads of imput, which is fine but everything i have sorted out he is now saying he doesnt want, its costing alot of money and time. I dont mean to sound harsh but i wish he would bring these things up when i asked him about it!

Wow our H2B are very a like.... He refuses to do th first dance, I said we will be doing it even if its in the bedroom alone. My partner is very shy and is nervous about standing up infrount of everyone and talking.

We are having a small wedding with the ceremoney followed by the wedding breakfast and sadly no reception. We just cant afford it!!!! We have the room all day with the private bar so if people want to use it they are welcome to, but no disco and no buffet. Our guest list is small and i didnt see the point in a big party for a handful of people....

We will probably skip it ....

yeh that maybe a good idea, its just picking the song which is an issue everything i suggest he doesnt want so i tell him to pick something and he just says he doesnt want one.

hmmm, thats not a good idea ha ha!

men why dont they do as they are told hope he comes round to the idea soon hon