Our best man is a friend of my fiance's of over 10 years and is one of our closest friends. Earlier in the year he got a new girlfriend and set-up a business so we didn't see as much of him as usual. He was honestly thrilled to be chosen as best man and it was a really special time. He recognised he had been busy and said we had nothing to worry about - he would be there for us with whatever we needed and he really reassured us that we need not be concerned about reliability etc. After this evening there was a few really excited positive calls - everything was wonderful. This was in early July.
This weekend was our engagement party. The date was in the diary since before we asked him to be best man so he has known for ages. Still sent him a paper invite. My fiance and I have been calling him since early July - his phone is always on but no answer or call back. I've sent a few messages asking if he's okay, reminder about the party, getting worried etc - no response. Have also sent a message on Facebook - he is online even now! No response. I have also found his girlfriend on Facebook and sent a message worried to see if they are ok - no response. So on the day of our party - no show.
We are really feeling let down and my fiance is a bit gutted about the whole situation. If something is wrong we would completely understand but there hasn't been any communication. Even one text message to say "Call you when I can" would be ok.
Of course we can't do anything until he actually gets in touch but should we really keep him as best man? Personally I don't want someone who can upset and stress my fiance involved in the wedding and we both need someone more reliable - can you imagine if all of this was going on a month before our big day?!
Thanks for any advice/opinions.
Emma
CommentAuthorKatieA72
Does he live nearby? It sounds like he is seriously annoyed with you both - I hate to say it - but is there maybe something between them that has happened that your fiance is not telling you about? I would stay out of it and let your fiance deal with it himself. I would be asking mine to drive to his house and speak to him face to face so he cant ignore you. If he says he is not annoyed with you then I would be very worried about having him as best man.
Maybe explain not being at engagement party without an excuse is unforgivable?
CommentAuthorAna40
I would leave this to your h2b to sort out. If I'm honest it does sound as if there is more to the story. X
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Maybe his new girlfriend has a problem the friendship between you and H2B and best man ? Maybe she's told him you both or her... A lot of guys I know have been cut off from all their friends by a girlfriend.. Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorFernP61
Dump him from being best man sorry he sounds like a right dxxx do you really wAnt someone you can't rely on? X
There has to be more to this story. That said this is your H2B's bestman and not yours. It is entirely up to him to sort this out. How would you feel if H2B fired one of your bridesmaids or MOH?
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Yeah I think you should leave it up to your h2b to sort out. If sucks that he didn't show for engagement party; my best friend who I've know since I was 5 never turned up to ours and apologised saying that he didn't realise the date...we reminded him and heard nothing since so know how he feels :(
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorMickaylaH
I feel that as best man he should be there and in contact with you. If he can't even be bothered to speak to his best friend then why should he have such an important role in his wedding?
I have a similar situation, with an usher.
I also want to find a way of telling him I no longer wish for him to be part of my wedding based on recent events. However I do not know how to do this without causing more problems and arguments.
xx
CommentAuthorBecky1608
Your H2B should definitely speak to him. Can he pop around and have a word with him xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
