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Wedding Forum - Head or heart???...

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  1.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I need to choose between my heart or my head.
    I've always said its both our day and we both need to have what we want. ( he never got to make any decisions on his first marriage) And he has said he wants to wear a kilt in his family tartan ( we are not Scottish or welsh though so not a family thing ) now my heart is saying agree with it and let him do/wear what he wants
    BUT
    my head says ( and yes this is very selfish) but I am the bride shouldn't everyone be focused on my beautiful dress not on the fact he's flashing his legs? Plus its going to cost us £700!! Half the price if we rent most of it.
    No one will be expecting a kilt and he doesn't own anything to do with one so we will need to buy it all and it would be a lovely surprise on the day but I feel slightly jealous that he will be getting lots of attention and worry it will take it from me but at same time he deserves the attention too :(
    I just don't know what to do, I don't want to be bridezilla but just want to feel extra special for one day x
  2.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'll be honest, it sounds like you've got your heart and your head mixed up there.

    It sounds very much like your head is telling you the right thing to do is to let him wear it, as it's what he wants. However your heart is telling you, that you don't want it.

    Personally, I think you should let him. The idea that he is going to ''outshine'' you is silly. People will see him first and will be over the fact that he is wearing a kilt by the time that you show up in your dress. It takes a lot to take the attention off a bride, when most people think about weddings one of the first things they think is ''what does the bride look like'' or ''what was the dress like''

    You've said yourself that he didn't get any say in his first wedding, surely one decision he should be able to make is what he himself is wearing?




  3.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
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    I have never heard of the groom outshining the bride , whether he flashing his legs or not.. ha... let him wear what he wants to wear its his day too . You will be both be getting lots of attention whether he was wearing a suit and even if you were wearing a rubbish dress , the attention would still be on you and everyone will make you feel special :)

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  4.  
    • ErinV
      CommentAuthorErinV
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree with Donna, sounds like you should let him wear what he wants- it's his wedding too and men get so little stuff to choose on their own. Trust me a kilt won't rival your dress!
  5.  
    • Myranny
      CommentAuthorMyranny
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Has he actually tried it on yet? Let him do it, because just as Donna says, people will be over it by the time you arrive. Just remind him that if you wear pants, it's a skirt. Get him to go and try on a kilt etc. and he might even realise it's not something he wants, he just doesn't want it to be like before where he got absolutely no say xx
  6.  
    • Sprucey
      CommentAuthorSprucey
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think if you hire that's a compromise and also it is both your wedding day, although he might go try it on and hate it! I always said my oh would look drowned in tails as he's only my height but he popped one on in the hire place yesterday and it looked amazing! I liked that he would be all dressed up too!

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  7.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks ladies, I've been 100% about the kilt til I started dress shopping ( think I'll feel ok once I find 'the dress' but think where I'm struggling finding the perfect dress is what's giving me concern) I've made sure he has a say in everything bar my dress obviously lol. He has tried a kilt on and looks lovely in it. I think we need to go try a suit and a kilt on in same shop so he can decide which one he prefers. I know deep down it won't outshine the bride dress just think I'm stressing over everything as seemed to be so much going on at the moment. I think I just expected to be stood next to someone in a suit so will feel strange being next to him in a kilt x
  8.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
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    But the kilts are part of a suit, it's not like he won't be dressed up smart hun. Also don't worry about not finding your dress yet, you still have time just keep looking and you will find the perfect one




  9.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
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    You don't need to buy the kilt alot of places hire them out for approx £100 my oh has his own family kilt it never crossed my mind that he would steal the limelight from me, only person that's going to steal the lime light is our 5 year old son who is having a kilt made in the same tartan as his daddy. All the other guys are in a different tartan. I got snide remarks about how it will look stupid oh and ds in different tartans from the rest of the bridal party, my response was simply its his day too he can wear what he likes and if anyone has anything to say then that's their issue.

    As for flashing his legs its really just his knees on show. I love nothing more than seeing guys in kilts (but then I am Scottish and its normally for our guys to wear kilts) a true Scotsman goes commando under the kilt.

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  10.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
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    Just realised you said he wants it in his family tartan depending on what the tartan is it would need to be bought as most hire places only have a selection of kilts for hire.

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  11.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
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    I think you should let him wear what he wants.. It is his day too, not just yours! As the bride you will get lots of attention but he is entitled to some attention on his wedding day too x

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  12.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks ladies, I love the idea of him looking different to all the groomsmen and have told him he wears what he wants, think I'm just worrying about not finding the dress!! And I think its more my insecurities about mine than what he's wearing. And he looks lovely in a kilt so I know whatever he chooses will look fab, just surprised me how expensive its guna be to rent/buy as need to buy the tartan due to it being a certain one and places don't stock it for rental. Think nerves are just kicking in lol
  13.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
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    @MrsC2bee You still have a long while until the actual wedding. Don't feel like you need to put pressure on yourself to find the right dress NOW. I finally found my dress last November with 10 months to go. I personally know a bride that didn't order her dress until 5 months before the wedding.

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  14.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think provided he doesn't flash what's underneath the kilt, he wouldn't outshine you!
    You will look amazing when you find your dress so let him wear what he wants. A tartan waistcoat could be an alternative compromise if the kilt didn't work out. X
  15.  
    • MrsC2bee
      CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think I'm stressing as can't choose bridesmaids til I have mine and hate not being organised and just want to know what I'm having lol. Knowing my oh he will end up flashing at some point haha. I think I'm just guna take a few weeks off planning and just plod slowly, we sorted the cake out today so I know I have plenty of time :) although can't seem to get this dress out my head now!
 

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