where to start last saturday my h2b mentioned that he wanted to change jobs from one paying £36 grand a year working in Bristol to one paying £25 with a company car,closer to home which i said ARE YOU MAD, then thought he is thinking about it seriously as he was, then Monday came and he quit his last job for the new one, saying that when you work it all out hes only loosing £300 a month dont ask how he came to that sum, and that its what he wants to do as hes a programmer.

then on Tuesday he came back home with an oil tank we dont use oil at all in are house so i was just thinking OK hes finally lost the plot and spent £100 for it, it gets worse well anyway i had to drop him off to work on the weds so he could drive the company car home so i thought I'll pop and see my gran in Plymouth in his car so i got to Plymouth and the car started playing up and then completely died on me, with both my kids in the car, rang the rac they couldn't fix it rang him up and he came out to rescue me, ended up being towed home which cost £136, the problem with the car was he had put the oil from the tank into his car and it had blocked the filter so really peed off now i was stranded for 4 hours with two kids under 3. and it cost £400 to fix the car and drain the fuel tank, and put new parts on it

now yesterday he turns around and says dont think we can afford the wedding? to which i said what, wont get enough to save for the day, cos its the £300 we wont be getting now so really peed with him, now Ive got to cancel the venue loose £400 and find a cheaper alternative, not to mention both the cars need there mots in the next two months and my car tax runs out this week and i have no d'oh to pay for anything, and he said last night oh can you make my mum a birthday cake which i can do but cant cos i dont have any money to buy the ingredients, and the mortgage is due am really getting mad with him, sorry for the rant just needed to offload before i kill him or sell his car lol

Maybe he was really miserable in his old job and needed to change because of that hun? x

just done a salary calculator online...if he earnt 36k his take home pay would have been £2236, now ith 25k it is £1613 so is £623 difference. not sure how he got 300 then. also sometimes when you have a company car you need to declare and pay your private milage.

really do think you need to talk to him xx

I understand in a way if the new job is closer to you and the kids, less travel costs and more time with you and the kids!
But it is a he ll of a paycut and not to discuss it with you first, well id be having serious words with him for that alone hunni.

Just told h2b about the oil and before i had even finished he went OMG did she kill him lol

@Hails lol i killed him we had the screaming in the street and the rac man hiding in his van

before his Bristol job he was made redundant and was out of work for nearly two months, think thats what is really winding me up and his new job they head hunted him, maybe i should ask his boss for a pay rise lol

he was actually on my side i came home in the van with him, and my son

the venue just says deposit is non refundable even though its over 21 months away, think h2b will be ringing them and seeing if he can get anything back

i think he should of had talk to u regarding all this... understandable that he wants a job closer to u and the kids but he should of spoken first b4 just deciding ...

In my opinion regardless of you being off work following maternity leave, regardless of his reasons to work closer and everything else fundamentally this decision impacts you and the family so should be discussed in great detail before it is simply done.

It is too late to change that decision now but you must sit down and calmly explain what this decision has meant and what the impact has been. It needs to be made clear that these type of decisions have to be taken together when you both know all the facts.

You may have agreed with him if you had been given that choice but he will never know and I think the car issue is adding to your pain with him making the decision by himself.....

i completely understand why u are so angry i would be too! xx

i can see why u are mad even if this new job was better for him,the fact u are about to get married and commiting to spending the rest of your life together means these desisions need to be made togerther.he needs to take your opinions into consideration and find a solution to suit what you both want and need.x

still being a complete and utter wankerr, just spoke to him about the car issue just having one car he said I'm not getting rid of my vectra end of disscusion (which really fires me up when he says that) to which i said its a fucking car, why spend over a grand a year to keep a car you wont be using he said if my work car breaks down i wont be able to get to work, if you can find a people carrier that can do 50 mpg then i might think about it, which means no, cos he wont even compromise, then i said so i meant to compromise my entire life and you get a free ride, i moved away from my mates to live with him and dont see them that often. And i did add in well if you didnt fuck your car up in the first place we might have some money.
then the money came up cos i said i can't afford my car tax its over £200 he said well i cant help you Ive not got any money so i meant to pay for it all when i only get £100 a week to live on hes driving me insane, and now hes stormed off saying dont know why your so grumpy ain't like you got to get up early and go to work, yea cos staying at home bringing up two kids, potty training, housework and cooking his tea ain't hard at all, and his alarm clock wakes me every morning, that and I'm up with the kids, think i might go to my mums for a couple of days with the kids before i get life in prison, sorry for ranting again

yeah just told him either he learns to compromise or one day he will come home and the house will be empty and his car stripped!
he dosent see him self being selfish what is it with blokes and cars, think i might start playing at his own game

that really pisses me off, when it comes down to the wire and the women is a stay at home mum and gives him everything, and does everything for him, there are comprimising needed, its well i earn all the money, or i earn more than you etc. Honestly makes me sick no wonder women want to/have to work these days. H2b wants me to work the least hours i can but one he wouldnt get the spending money he gets and two he now doesnt have that hold on me (trust me he tried it). Spend a week not doing any chores etc (obviously look after the kids) but dont do anything for him, his cleaning or anything. he'll watch it mount up. tell him your on holiday and you dont get holiday pay. he'll soon realise if not then id seriously consider if id want to live the rest of my life with someone who doesnt seem to care about your feelings. you can try and try and try to get throught to him but theres got to be a cut off point. Also how dare he decide on something without you. Especially with his mother and not you.... sorry im rather angry for you right now.

Give him a bill - give him a wacking huge bill for all your hours worked. Cooking, cleqning, taking care of him & his kids, running after his sorry buttt & driving him round. then ask him to pay it.

haven't spoke to him since he hid in the garage, think i will do him a bill sounds like fun have done the not cleaning etc for him before but cos I'm a neat freak it done my head in more than his, last time we had a huge argument like this i walked and ended up having my daughter 3 weeks early he was really upset when he came to the hospital not that he got much sympathy from the midwifes or my mum and then nearly snapped his hand off in labour.

think i need to get a job and my own money again though have had a look and its a bit hard to find anything that i can do around the kids.

pleased ur getting there with him hun he just needed a kick in the right direction :-)
i hope u get all venue sorted quickly x