I am in the process of making my invites, with a view to post them at Christmas, I'm hand making every one so it will take that long!! Thing is I'm stuck with the guests for evening invites! I know who is coming to the ceremony - close family only except bm's and best man. When it comes to the evening I have compiled a list of closer friends of ours and feel like I've hit a brick wall!
Some people we see at mutual gatherings 2/3 times a year but I don't know if they should really be invited to our wedding... but I don't want to offend! Work mates are another issue, I work on labour ward at the hospital and we have a lot of staff... I don't think I'd want to do what some of the other midwives did and put a sign up inviting all but am worried if I invite the ones I liaise with out of work then it will upset my other colleagues. Also family I've not seen since I was a kid... would it be bad to not invite them???
A friend got married and said she made a rule that if she hadn't got a text message or seen them in 3 months then they weren't coming but I'm not sure on this.
Does anyone have a sort of rule they follow? Sorry to go on x
Here comes the bride......
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
I went with if I've not heard from them in the past year and am not feeling too bad about it either, they didn't make the list. The people who did were those who we genuinely keep in touch with and who we would enjoy having at our party - every person you invite think about how much they would be costing you, are you happy to effectively pay for that person to come to your wedding? If you only see someone twice a year think about if you would be invited to their wedding if the shoe was on the other foot, and as for your colleagues, pass the invites around discreetly and then let everybody see the photos afterwards - I don't think people automatically assume they get invited nowadays - I had a friend from uni who I've known for 14 years, she always assumed she'd be my MOH, but I've not heard from her since January and she's not even congratulated me on the engagement or asked about the wedding even though she knows about it. I haven't even included her on our guest list as I realised I don't actually miss her company, so I'm not even inviting her to the evening!
CommentAuthorKimberlee1
We have a similar problem because we moved away to Kent (250 miles from where were originally from) Bedford. Were both families are. And we dont want to invite people just for the sake of it. Weve had to slim down our ceremony numbers as the place only allowes for 40 people. and then reception theres over 150 people being there....well invited anyways. We just said that if we hardly speak to them or like your friend said they dont make the effort to text then why should they be there. I know its a hard decision because your worried people will be offended, but they only have themselves to blame. Ive found that people are coming out of the wood work because they know were getting married and are probs hoping for an invite. But little do they know i have already got invites printed up and wont be having anymore made. lol.
14th August 2010 Engaged to Mister Matthews
17th August 2012 I'll be Missus Matthews
CommentAuthorSilvermist
im having a really small wedding, so we have made a limit, we are inviting all our closest family/friends first then if theres any space left we will then invite others that we are closer with, i dont care if people think its nasty, iv made a few really good friends from my daughters nursery, she's now in school so they will be getting invited, this one woman over heard them asking me about wedding & she has now assumed she's invited, she's not a real friend, we dont meet up ever, we dont text nothing, she's not invited. so if its someone like that i dont think its bad not to invite them, after all its your wedding day & i personally think exchanging vows and everything on the day is a really personal thing. So thats my rule, just our number limit & not to get pushed into inviting people xx
CommentAuthorLegoWife
I think you should just invite the people you definitely want there and not worry about who will be offended. If anyone says anything just tell them only close friends and family were invited and it was nothing personal.
Day guests: very close friends (eg childhood friends/friends we're in very regular contact with and who have always been there for us), immediate family (parents, brothers), very close family/family friends (family we see frequently and who we really want to be there; which actually isn't that many people lol).
Evening guests: work colleagues we're close to and who we see socially outside of work; other friends we're in pretty regular contact with, but who aren't as close as our best friends; short-term partners of friends invited to the day (long-term partners are invited, but not short-term ones); more extended family (eg my OHs cousins who we do see, but not regularly); friends of my parents. If we haven't seen someone for years, and there's no real reason for it (eg, they live close by), they won't be invited; likewise we won't be inviting all our colleagues 'just because', we're only inviting people we see socially. Some family on my OHs side aren't invited full-stop because he hasn't seen or spoken to them for 15 years.
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
love the rule but i'd be a bit more leaniant as i've not seen my friend for a year due to him having a son and us living far away but we do still talk and stuff so i would make an exception. basically if i've not spoken to them or seen them within a year then they ain't getting an invite, my family is just too big! i've not included talkin on facebook either as that not really talking
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
