Apologies now but I need to rant, FMIL has just informed me that she thinks I am out of order for not making sure I have button holes for every single guest!!!! I have bought them for immediate family only and also special ones for the mums and nans but that's not good enough. She wants to buy more now, It's not about the money but I have spent lots of time with my florist getting it right and also I have never been to a wedding where everyone got a buttonhole.
Am I being unreasonable, all I said was I would rather you didn't she is nit happy.
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Buttonholes are to distinguish 'important' people so to speak from the Rest of the guests.. You should really try and stand your ground on this one Hun xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Yeah I've never been to a wedding where everyone was given button holes.... would look a little odd I think.
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
I've been to weddings where everyone gets one but for ours it's bridal party only x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I've just done a quick search online and another thread in another forum came up, a lot of people were saying they have been to weddings where everyone's worn one but they brought their own, only the wedding party had theirs provided for.
I think at the end of the day its down to you, its your wedding do what you want.
Thanks guys, I don't mind if individuals want to buy there own as long as they weren't the same as the bridal party ones. I know some people like to do that but I am determined not to give in this time I have already had to invite great aunty Maude twelve times removed because it would cause too much upset if I didn't.
I thought I was doing well so far but I feel now it's gonna be a long 5 months haha
CommentAuthorShowgirl
I know it used to be the done thing for all guests to get a buttonhole and a a very young child I saw this being done, but it was going out of fashion even then. These days it is pretty much just the bridal party who have a buttonhole. We're definitely only providing them for the bridal party and to be honest I would think it was a little wierd if some guests just turned up with a buttonhole - I'd feel like they perhaps thought they should have been in the bridal party and were trying to make us feel bad for not including them.
CommentAuthorNelinde
Stick to your guns! Remind her who's day it is and if she doesn't like it then she doesn't have to have the 'honor' of being part of it! Tbh this is the first time I've ever heard of this aswell.
Getting ready to marry my soul mate! :-D
CommentAuthornikki40
I think she us put out that I haven't really involved her in any decisions but that's not because I am being mean, oh and I have made the desicions together which I feel is how it should be. Don't get me wrong I really like her we get on well which is why it's so hard :-(
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
What the hell tell her to look it up, button holes are for immediate family/grooms men only, not for every tom, dick and harry. You are in the right, shes completes unreasonable!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorShowgirl
Are there any smaller things you can throw in her direction to help her feel more involved, like a shopping trip or something?
CommentAuthornikki40
Hmmm will have to have a think showgirl
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
buttonholes are not just for bridal party but normal guests are supposed to bring their own. im just buying them for bridal party, parents, grandparents. also getting them for my 2 sister in laws as everyone will have them except for them 2 so i will get them a nice corsage x
CommentAuthorTrasaD
We're doing it as roses for our immediate family and peonies and snow drops for the bridal party. If anyone else wants to have button holes or corsages, they're going to have to provide their own. Maybe ask her to help you with the invitations or making something for the wedding? xoxox
CommentAuthorclairenina
I have only ever seen the key guests wear them.
CommentAuthorkatielea100
tell her to bugger off!!! id be fuming if i was in your position, alot of people are having buttonholes but thats only because i have 6 brothers a dad and step dad then oh has got his dad brother n best man then my mum nana and ohs mum will have one so if it wasnt the fact i have alot of siblings i wouldnt have so many either there will be 15 buttonholes out of the 35 guests x
CommentAuthorKatya
if this was me, i would let her buy the button holes, have them delivered, then have someone intercept the delivery to the venue, so for instance ask the florist to deliver the buttonholes to reception, have a bridesmaid collect them from reception and then hide them somewhere!
if you really dont want the button holes but you want your fmil to shut up about the buttonholes, whats she really going to do at the wedding? she cant delay the wedding for missing button holes! the registrar is hired by you & works for you, not her
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorkatielea100
yeah do what katya has said orrrrr just say youve made an appt with the florist to discuss more buttonholes but that are alil different so you can tell whos the important guest and who are the rest then just dont do it ;) she cant do anything when the buttonholes dont turn up on the day haha
CommentAuthorRachelE118
I don't know whether it's a welsh thing or not but most people who go to the day wedding wear button holes although I've never known them being bought unless they were main bridal party. I always thought it was like a badge to show the evening guests that you were more special than them!
CommentAuthornikki40
Thank you everyone I am glad not just me that thinks it's strange, oh has told her the button holes are duck egg blue carnations, (they are pink germini) she said she knew the colour scheme is pink so why lie - he said it's easier than telling you no haha
CommentAuthorprincesspixie
haha to your OH i would just tell her where to stick it… its your wedding and like everyone says button holes are for bridal party not every guest xx
Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
Big wedding 18/06/2016
CommentAuthornikki40
Well after everything that has gone on with the FMIL (apart from the flowers incident) she has moaned about everything that I have done so much now that she has decided she is not coming - WT!!!!!!
Her exact words were "HER wedding HER way, therefore not coming as wont be able to hold my tongue" then she continued to rant about me.
All I have done is cry, so much anger towards me and I dont honestly know what I have done wrong.
yes it is my wedding and yes I have done it my way - I dont know what bride doesnt.
Feel really sorry for OH as he wont have his mum there, unfortunately she wont change her mind either she is very stubborn and once she says something it would take the parting of the sea for her to change her mind.
Also the knock on effect of others taking her side - so in total we are now 5 down.
Fell like calling whole thing off, I know that her not turning up says more about her than about us but cant help feeling like the arguments wouldnt have been caused if there was no wedding, but then again it would mean she has won. :(
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Do not let this get you down, this is YOURS AND YOUR OH'S day NOT hers if she wants to stomp and moan and be stubborn *bleep* let her, she sounds like a nasty piece no end... HER wedding??? The total cheek! She's made me angry!
Let her stomp and moan and act like a child- she's the one who will be missing out, no one else! Is it deffo not an empty threat? X
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthornikki40
Nope defo not and to be honest if she couldnt hold her tongue then I dont want her there as I dont want to be worrying the whole day as to when she is going to speak her mind, apart from the fact that someone may slap her for upsetting the bride (the line would be a very long one)
I have told her she is a very bitter and twisted old woman and I will never speak to her again and she is not welcome in my house, she needs to get over the fact that her ex husband (who she kicked out 30 years ago) is happy with someone else and that her son is happy and that her grandchildren are happy and let everyone get on with their own lives.
If it was her wedding she wouldnt let anyone tell her what to do or how to handle things.
It was the "HER" that got me too, I havent even got a name now :(
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
her problem love just let her get on with it and those that have followed suit more fool them. its not going to hinder your day anymore and don't let her get you down, its meant to be the best day of your life for you and h2b and to set up the future for you both.
Honestly don't dwell on it too much, she has made her bed let her lie in it hun
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorAmyH608
NO NO NO...what is wrong with these FMIL!!! lol!! They are all crazy and somewhat interfering!! As everyone has said only the immediate family, bridal party, grooms party should wear buttonholes!!
I know exactly how you feel hun - good luck xx
CommentAuthorLauraK7
Oh no another what is wrong with them I'm sure if it was you fmil wedding and you tried to interfere she'd have something it say How does your OH feel about her not coming? As for flowers we have decided they are just for the bridal party x
CommentAuthorLauraF89
So sorry to hear hun, hopefully she can clear her head and see sense that she's being very childish and ridiculous. Can she not just suck it up and hold her tongue for one day whilst she see's her son get married and move on to the next chapter in his life...honestly!!! So far we've had to FMIL problems...just a few comments!
xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthornikki40
Thanks Ladies, I knew that I wouldnt be the only one with an interfering FMIL, just OH I feel sorry for although he said that hes not bothered. Will just hope that the old witch grows up a bit in the next 12 weeks and changes her mind :)
