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Wedding Forum - Hate our pre-wedding shoot :-(...

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  1.  
    • AmyN135
      CommentAuthorAmyN135
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hey everyone,

    Our photographer met with us last Saturday to do a pre-wedding/engagement shoot. She has put two of the photos on Faceb00k and I hate them :-(. Feel quite upset about it really.
    It was a really windy day so my hair is all over the place, but I just hate how I look in them and feel so ugly :-(. I haven't seen the rest of the photos yet. In one of them my head is down and you can see a double chin, not the best pose! The other one my eyes look puffy and hair is a complete mess.
    I am a little bit p*ssed off that she put them on social media without checking with us first. Am I being too vain??
    I just feel so sh*t now and could cry because I am going to look horrible in photos. I know photographers aren't miracle workers lol, but she took SO many that day and there are tons of other ones she could have put up for the public to see.

    I just feel upset that the wedding photos - which are a big deal to capture your day - will be cr*p.
  2.  
    • Mrs D2B
      CommentAuthorMrs D2B
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    I haven't had an engagement/pre-wedding shoot yet but my sister bought me a bump to baby shoot when I had my little girl, they always put on a couple of sneak peeks before we viewed the photos, they didn't ask our permission to do this(as they own the copyright of the photo's I don't think they have to) they also used dd photo in one of their promotions with out asking but I didn't mind because they were stunning photo's and we're incredibly proud of them.
    I don't think your photographer would intentionally put up photo's which she didn't think were good, not only does she want to make you happy as her client but it is also a way of showing off her work for other potential clients. However photographers take hundred of photo's in photo shoots I'm sure when you go to view there will be loads you love (and possibly a few more you don't), if not have a word with her and explain why your not happy and I'm sure she will come up with a solution.
    Fingers crossed the viewing goes a lot better for you and your worries are unfounded xx

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  3.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    Amy its not vain at all! I would be exactly the same, speak to them and tell them you don't like the pics and ask them to take them off of Facebook! I had a photographer at my engagement party and the pics are horrible, they didn't put them on Facebook due toy disappointment

    Speak to her about what you want from your wedding pics so you are not disappointed.

    Xx

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    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  4.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    As Mrs D said, if you've signed a contract then there are probably T&Cs in there that allow them to use any of your photos for marketing purposes etc. as they will own the copyright of the photos. I wouldn't get too downhearted about it just yet as she would have taken loads of photos.. there might be some real gems in there!

    If it turns out you're not happy with any of them then explain why you don't like them to her and then she can approach your wedding photos differently so you will be happy with them :) also remember on your wedding day you are probably not going to have your hair all over your face either.

    I bet they are lovely anyway - it's easy to be hard on yourself and think you look horrible when you don't!! Do you like having your photos taken anyway or do you generally dislike it? x

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    xx
  5.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    hey hun, that's really bad. a few of my friends are photographers and wouldn't do that, I know my photographer that I have hired would not just put up photos of us without us seeing them first and be happy about it.. I would message her and say how you feel and explain that you don't like the shots and feel they don't show your best. See what they come back with. Your photos should be flattering and they should of picked the most flattering ones for a sneek peak . Good luck, hope the rest are good , if not I would choose someone else.

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  6.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    Something to add on to my comment... your photographer must think the photos are good as she wouldn't be promoting bad photos on social media! x

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  7.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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      edited
     
    also, so sorry that you feel that way.. its awful having a shoot then hating the photos.. I feel for you.. I had a friend who was starting up a photography business and had been doing it on and off and was looking for models to shoot he asked if I would oblige.. I said yes sure and OMG the photos were awful.. I cannot express how bad. In all the photos I have ever been in, these were 100 times worse than any of my worst.., I said to him when I went travellin on my own I took all my own photos, I take better photos of myself with just one hand with camera pointed towards me .. how can this be.. he did a few other ladies with shocking bad photos.. he never went very far with his business and needless to say he didn't like my comment.. but I had to be honest and he could see all my fb photos are nicer than his portrait ones.. in the end he agreed ... and he never posted any of mine anywhere.. Thank god !

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    Soooooo excited to be marrying my Best Friend !!
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  8.  
    • AmyN135
      CommentAuthorAmyN135
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks for all your replies!
    I know they are her photos and she can do what she wishes with them, but she did say on the day of the shoot that she would run the photos past us before putting them on her FB page. Which she hasn't done.
    I know she wouldn't intentionally put up bad photos as she needs to advertise her work, but one of a double chin and the other of puffy eyes and both with bad hair?! lol, maybe I am being picky but I just know she took lots of other good ones and a little annoyed that she didn't show us them before displaying them. I feel pathetic because I am close to tears with how bad they are!
    Flossie no I don't really like having my photo taken anyway and can be pretty critical of myself and my looks. It's just I was feeling good about myself on the day they were taken, as I have lost weight and liked what I wore, I just feel disappointed really.
    I will message her about seeing the rest and gently tell her I am not happy with the ones she has put up and why.
    If anything it has made me decide on getting a fringe back, I always had one and have grew it out in the last 2 years but as I like myself better in photos and in general with a fringe, I am getting it back. lol.
    x
  9.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    also, if you do use this photographer make sure you do mention the double chin thing.. I can have a awful double chin when I laugh or stand in a certain way and the photographer asked us if we have any concerns so I have told her about this and she said no probs, will teach you a few tricks for this and go through a few "how to have best wedding photos" with you before pre shoot.. they should do this with you too of you raise a concern and then hopefully not have any with DC in :) xx

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    Soooooo excited to be marrying my Best Friend !!
    Life is Wild, Love it Live it !

  10.  
    • AmyN135
      CommentAuthorAmyN135
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    Emma that's exactly how I feel! I have tons of my own photos which I prefer way more than hers!
    I don't even look like myself in them!!

    Thing is she is about 3-4 years into the business so still finding her way, although she has improved since she started out. She did our friends wedding photography about 2 years ago and they weren't happy with their wedding photographs! The brides Dad has a good camera and they said they are far better than any she took! We only found this out a while ago! We have paid over the half the money to her now so can't afford to change.
  11.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    If she said she would run them past you before putting them on FB then it's wrong that she didn't :(

    At least it's a learning experience if anything.. you've got something out of it in that you realise what you don't like and that you want to get your fringe back lol! At least you still have the opportunity to discuss it with her and put things right before the big day.. I am sure she will be only too happy to listen and adapt anything you want x

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  12.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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      edited
     
    Have you been saving photos that you like? It might be worth showing her some photos to show her the style and feel that you like. I can imagine some people sit back and aren't really that hands on with their photographer leaving them to get on with their business however they want and then as a result are unhappy when they get their pics back and they're not what they wanted.. if you set out to her exactly what you want and what you like then she can't ignore it x

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  13.  
    • AmyN135
      CommentAuthorAmyN135
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    lol thanks Emma. When I smile widely my eyes get lost so I have tiny slits so maybe I need to say this to her as well or learn to smile without making my eyes smaller lol.
    I have actually lost quite a bit of weight from my face but still have a double chin in that photo!
  14.  
    • AmyN135
      CommentAuthorAmyN135
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yes Flossie I have saved a few photo ideas on my Pinterest and was intending on showing her these a few weeks before the wedding.
    And yes good advice, at least I know these issues now and can talk with her about it. She is a nice girl and I actually know her well enough through a friend and she IS approachable.

    I am the type of person who doesn't like complaining and feel like SHE is doing me the favour but need to remember that WE are her clients and paying her so we should speak up and be more hands on.
  15.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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      edited
     
    oh no.. just saw what you have said about your friends wedding photos.. sounds like you have a crap photographer.. :( how much have you paid.. ? im sure they cant make you use them for your wedding if you don't like the photos ? surely they have to give you money back if your unhappy with pre-shoot ?? I would see about getting money back and finding someone else , especially if you know someone who has had bad experience and didn't like photos either :( feel for you xx

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  16.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    there are so many people out there who are giving photography a go as a job and a lot of them actually don't know anything about photography.. they just take pics.. and hope for the best and yes get a nice few and think ooh this is a good job.. e.t.c.. they think are good and its a fun job so give it a go and don't mean harm at all.. but should at least have alot of high quality expensive lens and equipment, especially if photographing weddings.. and know how to work a camera properly and work with light and in what way e.t.c .. and should also have a TOP professional editing programme and know how to edit. hope you get it sorted x

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    Soooooo excited to be marrying my Best Friend !!
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  17.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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    I completely understand, you aren't being unreasonable I would be annoyed if my photographer posted photo's of me on social media, or anywhere without my permission. Photographers generally take lots & lots of photo's of the same shot ( and work on editing the best ones). Only your photographer knows what they have done wrong, but it sounds to me that minimal shots were taken, and minimal editing was done. You should also be able to review and approve photo's before they are released (especially if you do want them out in the public domain). If you have entered a contract where they can use them, I would ask them kindly if they could remove them, or edit out bits you don't like.
  18.  
    • AmyN135
      CommentAuthorAmyN135
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Her work really seems to have improved in the last year or so and I do admire some shoots that she had done and displayed on FB, but am still disappointed with mine!!

    Prior to this is had been a bit of a dramA..........basically she is the wife of my fiances friend (although I have known her for about 10 years - not friends with her but she is from my hometown and we have always got along great), and when we first got engaged, she offered to do our photography as a wedding present from her and her husband. They would be guests on the day so my fiance and I decided and agreed to do this.
    Which was fine until her and her husband split up after Christmas!! Her husband (now ex) is more of a friend to my fiance than she is to me.......so obviously with her circumstances having changed and it would no longer be a present from both of them (though I am still inviting both of them individually), my fiance and I approached her about what way things stood. She was very apologetic and said she doesn't like going back on her word, but asked us for £250. Her packages start at £600.

    So it began with us getting our photography as a present and now for £250, which is still very cheap for a photographer I know. But now I feel like from day one we should have declined and not got friends involved with doing anything for the wedding as a gift.

    It may be awkward for her and her husband being there on the day (she admitted herself she might feel a little awkward) although from what I gather she split was amicable. So that's another factor to kinda worry about, that she may not be able to do her job properly with her ex husband being amongst the guests.

    Lesson - do not get friends to do anything for your wedding as a present!

    So there is no contact and I have paid her £150.
  19.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 18th 2015
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      edited
     
    ahhhhh. I see... oh no..such a predicament !! yes I nearly asked my photographer friends about doing ours, then thought no..even though I know they are fab photographers and took fab ones of another event we had but they not specialised in weddings and I didn't want to risk it and regret it and put pressure on our friendship. your in a tough position, not only does she not sound the best she also going to feel bit awkward which you don't want, as will your OH friend too Im sure :( If it were me, I wouldn't use her.. explain its your wedding day and how you don't want anyone to feel awkward and that no-one should feel awkward on your wedding day no matter what they offered. Im sure she would agree and see your point of view.. and give you back your £150.. but means you will have to pay for a photographer.. but I think that's better than having not only photos you may not like but also the worry , if she isn't relaxed on the day, you wont be looking relaxed in the photos either ! :(

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    Soooooo excited to be marrying my Best Friend !!
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  20.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Mar 19th 2015
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    eek I see how awkward it is now. I think I would have to ask for my money back. If you are paying, you may aswell look for a professional. I have seen photographers do deals on places like Gr0up0n and W0wch3r for not much more than that. I really would bite the bullet and ask for the money back because of HER change in circumstances (not your fault). I don't think photo's aren't worth risking compromising on, as they are all you have to look back on your day.
  21.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 19th 2015
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    I have to agree with the above...... Perhaps ask for your money back but play mainly on the idea of it taking the pressure of her and to be honest, I'd want to know the photographs are right as it's not a day you can get back. You never know, she might be relieved xx

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