hey ladies sorry for the rant just had enough at moment of everything ...... sorry its so long

am so tired as not been sleeping (its now 3.50 am and still cant sleep).. the most i get is about 2 hrs a night and then when i finally get to sleep am up not long after to do the run around for the family as am the only one with car which i have to put all our extra money in for fuel and get nothing for it and dont even get to use it for ourselves (well i asked my mum for money for fuel 3 weeks ago and she gives me a fiver dont get much). am so tired i even had to cancel hospital appointments (born with spina bifida so have to visit lots) cus i just dont have engergy to do anything for myself. am making my self ill as i now have swallon glands due to infection and no one can see what its doing to me. on top of my spina bifida i also suffer with asthma, hypertension, poor kidney function and motablity issues which all are getting worst. i sick of putting everyone first and getting nothing in return. i got upset with the h2b earlier for small petty things and then just broke down crying. he tells me i sud say something but its not easy when my parents always think they are right and as we are the children we do the things for them as they did for us when we was children
on top of all that in the last week we have had h2b phone break, shower break (wet room so no bath), my laptop which had all wedding plans and designs on (on h2b's at moment) and the ps3 as broken to. can anything else go wrong?

i really feel like am about to break and am scared it my h2b thats goin to get it all on him and hes done nothing wrong bless him thanks ladies for listening .... well reading lol

Hun I am so sorry to hear this and if you're not sleeping well am I right in guessing neither is your h2b? Lots of people with stressors like you have experience a lack of sleep. Try talking to your partner and parents about the fuel use and see if you can reduce the amount you use your car. Also book your appointment at the hospital and stick to it, the others can cope better without you for a day than for months because you drove yourself into the ground running round after them. Try some lavendar oil on your pillow at night to help soothe you, you may find you get a better quality sleep and therefore sleep for longer. Let me know how this goes hunni and look after yourself! xx

You could try and tell your family that you have to scale down on the amount of running around you do because it is having a negative impact on your health and you don't want to end up seriously ill because you're trying to do things for them - guilt them!!! And don't miss any more appointments. Be strong and say no - I know it's hard, had to have a difficult discussion with my mum myself yesterday, but you can do it - and if everything else fails, start screening your calls so you don't get bullied into agreeing lol

have you spoken to your doctor about not sleeping. i have problems sleeping too and before i go to bed i switch off phone, laptop, tele and read for half hour and it really helps. i also have a cup of hot milk!! xx

feeling a little better but still little emotional
h2b is sleeping ok been goin to bed as normal other than last night when we was wake with me untill we got to sleep about 7 this morning. but was up again not long after due to not being able to breathe so well due to swallon glands and blocked nose.

today am having a me day to do what i want and am keeping my phone off

fruity pops..... if u dont look after ureslef b4 any1 else u will b 2 poorly 4 ure big day!! tell ure family to get the bus/taxi or walk lol

so much for keeping my phone off so no one can ring.

instead i get my brother knocking at my door to use the internet (dad turned it off on him) didnt go till 11pm and my sister knocks to see if i can take her shop at 9pm
went to bed earlier for a change (1.30am got to sleep at about 3am) only to be woken by the h2b knocking all the sevles out of the fidge at 5.45am

lol, also put a lock on your dooras this may be useful!

does anyone else in your family have the medical issues that you have cause if they dont they should be the ones helping you out hun familys can get selfish when things get left to long just start saying no sorry im busy or no i need to be somewhere else its baby steps start getting them used to you not being around the moment they want you eventually they get the hang of it trust me i know now when i see my family its cause i want to and not cause i need to do something for them try it hun it works just start not being available xxxx

You need to tell them all to F off!!!!

While you allow people to walk all over you, they will! Trust me I know this all too well. My new years resolution was to no longer lend people money, be used as a taxi company or be everyones agony aunt. It's hard to start with and I do feel guilty at times, but it still amazes me the cheek of some people!