av just had enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! h2b colours place just everything basically, im on verge of doin 1 of 2 things 1 just sayin fook it and doin everything myself with the knowledge that noone else basically give a fook includin h2b. 2 just callin it off.
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorTrish Goddard
edited
Oh no....
Calm down and think rashionally.... you still have LOADS of time yet. Weddings stress people out....
whats happened hun? Big HUG!! xxx
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
i have days like that too hun. Take a deep breath and relax. Why dont you give yourself a week off of wedding stuff. Thats what i did and came back refreshed and managed to get loads done x
CommentAuthorSoon2BBlackwell
I know how you feel, i have already done option one.... h2b made it perfectly clear that it is 'my' wedding and he's just going to turn up, the rest is up to me. Now i've accepted that i'm quite enjoying it, i order exactly what I want.....
Holly
Time to lose some weight so i look my best on our day!
I will stay motivated I will stay motivated
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
i keep havin these breaks from it, i do everything in day to day life on my own so i really dont wanna plan it on my own :-( id be happy if he just said from time to time something good or asked a question but he doesnt :@
nothing really happened trish, just feel like im ready to chalk a line round it, i just dunno what i want anymore :-( x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
will it help if i was to say i never got anything from Kev till a few weeks back...
He also said do it your way, just tell me the date time place n ill be there.. but now we have just 11 weeks to go, hes so getting into it.... Have you sorted this, have you sorted that...
you have plenty of time babes... take some time out from weddings and enjoy getting you n h2b back on track, do on a lovely night out, romantic meal etc with NO wedding talk!! .... BIG HUG!! xx
CommentAuthorJane
H2Bs do care, its just they have a different concept of time. Nearer the time I'm sure he will take more of an interest and input more to help you. Mine had a flurry of activity a couple of months ago when he sorted out suits and rings and stuff then it all went quiet again. I asked him last night if he was getting excited as it is only 4 weeks away..... nah, he said, its still a month away love. Men!!!!
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
Excuse me Mrs!!!! What were you saying to me yesterday?? Don't stress and take some time out and it'll all be alot better after forgetting about it for a while. Do that! You know h2b does care, he wouldn't be marrying you otherwise and you know it will all fall into place eventually. I was ready to cancel yesterday but feel totally different now and I know whatever I decide to do will be the right thing and it'll be the same with you x x x x x
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorCroc
my h2b is the same.... 70 days to go and hes still the same... he wants to marry me... but isnt bothered how or what colour the ribbons are on the sweet bags!!!
so instead of stressing ... i made a decison the other day...and decided im doing it all by my self from now on... EVERY little decision and im happy at that... if he complains he can go swing because he had the chance!! but i doubt he will because he wants it to be my perfect day
"better a witty fool, than a foolish wit" shakespeare
CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
deep breath huni. take a month out and reassess. my h2b as well as pertty much everones on here is the same. its taken someone at mines work who has recently proposed to get his assss into gear and actually want to do something! im positive he loves you and wants to marry you. you are totally wrung out and in need of a break by the sounds f it hun. big hugs it will soon turn around for the better xx
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
Firstly hun its not just your man. Its a lot of men! Im not saying all men, but a lot of men dont bother with this kind of stuff. When Steve and I were planning our original wedding, in the months, even years of planning due to pregnancy and postponement, Steve had probably spent around 5 whole hours actually involved in the planning of the Wedding. We had a huge row a few weeks back as he is looking for a new phone and him being a techno geek spent days, even weeks reading mobile phone reviews, sending emails, ordering information etc... We spent a whole Saturday looking around Plymouth going to over 20 different phone shops. When I finally lost my temper and said "just get one!" He said "you dont understand, its a big investment and I want the best" .....I saw red, and said...."youve spent this long looking for a phone for £300 - £400 but you cant give me an hour of your time to plan a wedding that costing us around 20 times that much!!! Dont you think our wedding is a big investment and we should both want the best" This whole arguement took place in a carpark and instead of getting in the car I walked off and me being me ducked in the first shop to hide and then spent the rest of the day in the aquarium. He didnt find me till gone 7pm walking along the seafront. It clicked with him...finally, how little he had been involved in what is a huge investment in our future. That was the day that everything started turning round and he started facing the issues we were having with his parent and the wedding. We started talking more and realised we were doing it for everyone else and not us and now with the new wedding plans he is finally involved, but in all honesty it took a long time (couple of years) to get to this point. I really feel for you, its very lonely. Try to see its not personal, its just how they are. Carry on with your plans, dont give up, come to us for support and to share ideas, rants, and planning. We are here and ya know we love to talk Weddings. In time, probably closer to the date of your big day, he will most likey start getting more involved. Big hugs. xxxx
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorbluefish
Heterosexual men just don't care about frills n bows. And if they did, wouldn't that be a little odd?
But even on the things they do care about, it is hard to make a decision. I have told Ed he is in charge of a few things, especially transport and wine and most other things I tell him what I've decided and he has to accept that. If he wants a choice, he has to get involved.
He doesn't understand the need for wedding favours, for example, but I will feel like we're being very tight if we don't have them! So we will have them. I am taking the opportunity to be girly with my best mate, Mum and MIL2B and talking to them about my ideas.
With Ed, there is always a cup of tea that needs drinking, or else he's tired or hungry. Then he's too full!! So I say things like, it will be a real shame if there are no nice cars left because everyone else has booked them. What will we do then? How will we get there? Will it still seem special? And he says, ok, we'll make a decision this week. He can handle one thing at a time. Anything more is asking too much of him. Though there is always time for mountain bike racing, I notice!!
Are you worried that him not being interested in the wedding planning = him not being interested in you?
Or are you overwhelmed by all there is to do and need his help? If so, just bl**dy tell him how you feel!
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
babe chilllllllllllll!!! u kno men and weddind they are happy to pay but u gotta do it all!! i am , just ask him his thoughts now and again lol
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
well today just went even worse arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh..
my friend and bridesmaid that was the only one coming on my benidorm hen do is now not comin :@ in a way im relived as i have said before i didnt fancy babysitting her when she is pi$$ed but im also dissapointed because now i cant go :-( .
so then another friend said she'll go in her place but by this time i was that fed up i just could not be bothered its just another drama that instead of looking forward to im now just stressed over.
so i luckily only paid the deposit which was £100 (because i knew this would happen) she however has paid nearly all of it she only has £150 left to pay off but apparently cant afford it.
so i rang travel agents best 2 things to do are either 1:transfer it to another holiday 2:get someone to go in her place and pay the fee of £35 to change names over.
if we cancel we'll only get £100 bac which is £50 each so only a £50 loss to me which i can live with :-)
so as i said above i really cant be bothered to go now if i dont go its saving me £900 which could go on honeymoon, so im thinking of given her £50 and swapping it over to honeymoon, goin in tomorrow at 10 see what we can sort out,then we;ll just have to pay the £35 name fee change.
i think she after me swappin it and her gettin her money bac but i know this sounds bitchish but i dont think she should and i wont id rather cancel and let her lose the money. what do u think i should do????
on an upbeat note though i got a bargain for my balloons. i been to see the lady today who advised me that she did the packages that my venue offer so for my chair covers sashes runners and balloons for night do its £600, luckily the lady that i previousley booked them with is gunna let me knock them off my order and just let me keep the rest of my order with her they are all fantastic ladies and very helpfull :-)
so now it works out that i got my balloons for £135 yay x silly venue though didnt tell me they provided table clothes which i had booked but she took them off my order too :-) bless her. and she's also lettin me if i decide to have it the led dance floor for £500 instead of £600 :-D x
o and my i do shoe sticker came and so did my sweety bags and earings :-D XX
SORRY for long post x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
Forum Poll
hen do cancel?
what should i do and what should i do about friends money?
Poll Results
Total Votes:
19
change to honeymoon and only give her the £50 bac
53%
change to honeymoon and give her all the money she has paid bac
32%
go with other friend and just give her the £50 bac
11%
i dont care what u do
5%
other please comment
0%
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorAttention seeker :)
ohhh i have the i do sticker :) they are fab
and i have to say the same as everyone else my H2B was the same till about 2 weeks ago when i was pulling my hair out. All i have had for the past year ''if it makes you happy do it'' '' if you want it have it'' '' if you like it get it'' I have done the whole bloody thing my self, but i liked it that way after a while. now with a few weeks to go he is all done and so is most of the wedding prep. AND he is now helping.
All men want is a DATE, TIME, PLACE lol they think thats all there is to a wedding
im not seeking attetion i just like everyone looking at me
im married
im now Mrs Dove
no more wedding planning LOL yer right
CommentAuthorAttention seeker :)
P.S i was going to put the stickers on my shoes backwards and ask DO I?
im not seeking attetion i just like everyone looking at me
im married
im now Mrs Dove
no more wedding planning LOL yer right
CommentAuthorStave
Ohhhh I was looking for an "I did" sticker.
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
ebay jaesin x
hahahaha attention seeker lol im tryin to find a help me sticker aswell x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
haha i have the i do stickers n iv got ssome for hubby that say eeek im taken lol x x i thunk ul struggle with the honeymoon things hun as im pretty sure she'd hafta sign the paper 2 change anything over as its in her name......if she thinks u wont give her the money she'll probs refuse 2 sign xx x x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
no shes told me to put it to honeymoon,but didnt say anything about me given the money shes paid bac to her,so i dont think that would be a problem, if it comes to it ill just cancel alltogether like she wants me to cause its her that doesnt wanna go that way she will only get £50 back x i just think its a waste of money.
if it was me that was canceling id give her the money cause it would be my fault, but as its her choice i dont see i should give her it bac other than the £50,we'd get from cenceling.
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorloubyscooby
Did she say why she couldn't go ? I think you should give her the money back as at least she tried to go unlike others and yet you moan about her behaviour if she has a drink. Maybe she has realised exactly how you feel about her. I think you are being really harsh.
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
that she cant afford it, she wants to go but is skint :-(
so u think i should pay her all the money bac she has paid even though its her thats really canceling? its nothing to do with me sayin about her drinking, its purely becaue shes skint and cant afford it her druggie bf doesnt work, but she does allways has done.x
i love her to bits shes my longest standing friend that i have known longer than anyone else since i moved here 15 yrs ago im allways there for her and i love her kids to bits shes not perfect and niether am i,and she knows how i feel about her bf and she knows how i feel about her drinking she doesnt see it as me been a bitch or been nasty she see's it how oit is which is me been a caring friend that is worried about her. x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
awwwwwwwwwww stressed y dont u offer to pay maybe half bk.....personally id change it over 2 the honeymoon n tell her 2 go whistle lol, but then im a cow lol, if ur worried about losin the friendship mybe try n comprimise.....
see if u can change it over withot her n just dont tell her lol, say iv cancelled it n heres ya £50 lol x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
she wouldnt fall out with me,and i wouldnt fall out with her x
i just feel guilty if i swap it over and give her the £50 but then i think well no cause if i just cancel alltogether all the moneys gone and she'll only get £50 bac, i dont mind as im only losing £50, she's gunna be the one losing £338 not me x
i wanna swap it over and give her the £50, but i feel like a bitch if i do that, i feel as though i should give her all teh money but then i feel like no way why should i x
maybe ill just cancel alltogether and get £50 each bac x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorloubyscooby
Just think how you would feel if she did this to you. I can't believe that some think its fair to rip off a "best mate" like this. I would swop it to the honeymoon BUT pay her back her money. Look how committed she was to going originally, she has paid nearly 7 times more than you to go on a hen party with you. Remember though if you do go ahead and just give her the £50 you are the one who has to face her and her kids. Happily I could not imagine doing this to one of my friends let alone someone I had asked to be a bridesmaid.
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
either way whatever u decide to do dont just cancel......its just a waste x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
i agree that if i had cancelled it then for me to pay her the money, but because she has cancelled i dont think i should have to pay her all the money shes paid that makes me out of pocket cause she got her finances wrong.
if we decide to swap it to honeymoon ill see what she says and how much she wants, i dont mind that. if we just cancel it then she will just get the £50 bac, cause im not payin her £300+ i wouldnt expect her to give me the money bac if it was other way round it would be my loss.
she did this to me once before yrs ago we booked and then she pulled out, hence why i did'nt pay the monies this time and was waiting x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
louby its not rippin our friends off at all...
if this was just a casual girls holiday or a family holiday and there was quite a few goin she wouldnt get her money bac she would lose her place and get her £50 bac only.
i appriciate that she was makin the effort but i dont see why i should be out of pocket.
what if id have paid teh same amount as her off???? or paid it all off??? and she backed out? then what youd still expect me to pay her money bac even though she'd be losing me money??? she wouldnt care if i was out of pocket £338.
i can guarantee you now if i said ill pay your remaining £150 and u just get u sepdns or ill pay u remanding money and for your spends she still wouldnt come cause its not to do with just money its because her bf wont let her. everyone who we know who ive said were not goin now EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM has said i bets its nowt to do wi money i bets its the bf. including her mum. x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorNishaVyas88
Aw, honey, that sucks! I was just thinking that if she's forked out £338 already, that money is gone and not going wouldn't affect her finances at all.
Unfortunately, I can't offer any advice because I've not been in this situation... if it were me, I'd just give her the £50 back since she's the one that cancelled. If it were you that had cancelled and she had no say in it, then I'd say return it all. But since its her, she should get what she'd get back from the bookers anyway.
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
i agree with nisha.......its not rippin ya m8 off if ya m8 wouldnt benefit any betta from cancelling.......... uv lost money cuzza her ok not loads but tis nott the point... x x xx
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
thanks girls i appreciate your advice and support, i will kepp u updated when i know whats what x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
