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  1.  
    • SallyB180
      CommentAuthorSallyB180
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 13th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi everyone, just wanted to know how much your other halves are helping and joining in with the planning of your special day?? Mine is doing nothing, shows absolutely no interest and doesn't even discuss the wedding with me, I talk, he half heartedly listens and just agrees. I hoped he would show more interest, I do understand it's maybe not the same for men but with 9 months to go he says I'm too organised and what's the hurry! I don't even bang on about it all the time or anything, just starting to feel a little alone and that I'm the only one excited or even interested in our day. I never pressured him to get married so is this just him or is everyone's partner like this?? :-( xx
  2.  
    • CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
      Posted: Aug 13th 2014
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    my h2b picked the date and time thats about it.. oh and his suit bt thats not getting done till may lol! other than that nothing. we arent marrying till july 2015 but im very organised brcause of our budgrt ive had to be bt same i dont bang on about it(my mam on the other hand is getting quite annoying lol)
    his cousin has had huge input in their wedding but their budget is muuuucchhh higher than ours and hes paying for it so in that sence i see why he wants to be involved... h2b just wants to be married lol hes not fussed on much. luckily we arent doing a full day we marry 3.30 and go straight onto our reveption n party from about 5pm x
  3.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 13th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    My H2B doesn't always voice opinion as he knows I'm a control freak and very organised so researching stuff he leaves to me unless I ask him to help , he has said to my dad that all he wants is to marry me and make the day as I have always dreamt which I was surprised he admitted that to my dad lol
    What I did do however is give a timescale to him like the checklist on this site but one from a wedding mag and a list of his tasks:) With everything we decide I give him the top 3 I have found and then we decide together.
    When I am in wedding mode with mags everywhere and of course laptop on he does bring me drinks and anything I need to help me relax whilst organising day :)

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  4.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 13th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Myself and oh are the same. I feel like I'm doing everything and every time I mention the wedding he's not interested. I asked him earlier if he's actually bothered about getting married. He said he just wants me and our little boy there, friends snd family and a big party afterwards. All the actual planning he has asked me to do. He's just got to work to bring in the money for it. OH chose the date and the reception venue and also the cake. Everything I've got to research to find things within our budget and then let him know x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  5.  
    • CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
      Posted: Aug 13th 2014
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    yea options r good to involve them rather than full choice.. h2b responds better to choices than free reign haha

    lovely of him to bring u stuff he sounds so sweet :-) mine keeps the kids away from my stuff when i have it out, so thats as good as haha x
  6.  
    • VickyB70
      CommentAuthorVickyB70
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 13th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    mine has done nothing. He couldnt even pick his suit on his own! I dont mind at all but i must admit now its getting to the last few weeks and all the silly little things need sorting i wish hed help a bit more but hey ho thats men for ya x
  7.  
    • SallyB180
      CommentAuthorSallyB180
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 13th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I asked my H2b the same thing, he said yes he wants to get married and not to be silly but it's just not how I thought it would be, he literally hasn't picked anything himself or researched a single thing, he takes me to pick things up and that's all his involvement done, he puts some money towards it but not much. His whole family show no interest at all either, we have been engaged for 15 months now and still none of his family have ever asked to see my engagement ring! Maybe I am being silly but to me it's exciting planning the day that is the beginning of our lives together, a day to celebrate our love and commitment xx
  8.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Ha he sounds sweet but he can be a pain in the bum lol Footy season is starting so I'm making sure to give him tasks or ask for help on non footy days or day after depending on scores lol
    It's good he keeps kids away as I bet that can be chaos if they move stuff around :)
    Vicky I am letting H2B go alone to suit choosing but I can expect a call of panic as I think he thinks it choice between colours and not styles lol
    Sally from what you have said I can understand why you are frustrated I think men kinda think women have always dreamt of the big day so will know what to do all on their own. Especially when you got engaged if you were anything like me I was literally showing my ring to strangers in the street as I couldn't stop smiling or looking at my ring so you have every right to be upset if his family haven't asked to see it, is his family involving themselves at all? or have you both sat down to talk them about wedding ? x

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
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  9.  
    • FutureMrsPendlebury
      CommentAuthorFutureMrsPendlebury
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    My h2b wants everything to be a surprise.. That surprised he doesn't want to see the venue beforehand! I don't mind as I'm quite organised and all I need to do now is just book everything as everything is chosen. I'm booking our holiday to New Zealand in January and considering its over 10,000 miles away he wants that as a surprise as well (he will probably make me do his suitcase!). All he knows is the date and what suit he is getting haha x

    Members signature icon
    March 5th 2016


  10.  
    • SallyB180
      CommentAuthorSallyB180
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    They all sound like their making some effort and even if it's just looking after you when you're planning all the H2b are helping in their own way. I especially like the surprise Mrs Pendlebury, very romantic :-) welshbridebethan, they have only mentioned the wedding to me once and that was to complain I was buying bridesmaid dresses too soon and I've spent too much on my dress after those few words they proceeded to get out the photo album of their daughters wedding and boast about that and how she is perfect, they are not contributing in any way and I'm starting to think they might not even like me xx
  11.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    My h2b wants to be involved with everything - he says it is his special day too after all, not just mine! Love that he wants to get involved and has an opinion on what we should and shouldn't do. I think I would be really upset if he seemed like he wasn't bothered.

    It's so extreme that he actually wants to walk down the aisle before me - like a big entrance, not just walking down to wait for me. He wants to show off his suit apparently and it's not fair that I would get all the attention...!? x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  12.  
    • SallyB180
      CommentAuthorSallyB180
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Aww futuremrsp I love that, I think your H2b has got it spot on, it's his day too so why not be fully involved and show off his suit :-) it is upsetting, we went to enquire about the groomsmen's suits yesterday and he said he would rather be at home playing xbox! I did all the talking whilst he showed no interest, it really makes me feel like this isn't what he wants xx
  13.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
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    Mine was a blooming nightmare. I would run things past him and ask his opinion on them, his reply was well whatever you want. Then when I decided not to run past him the fact that it would be us and the kids on top table and not the traditional one, his reply was well it would be nice to have been asked. I done the majority of the planning, all I asked of him was to sort the suits out. Even then I went with him and helped him chose. That was just spur of the moment though as was not meant to be. Glad I did though otherwise he would have ended up with purple cravats and waistcoats which I did not want at all.

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    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  14.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
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    Really sorry you feel that way Sally :( you've said you've talked to him, so I don't really know what to suggest.. apart from bribing him to do things and get involved!? Hehe x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  15.  
    • AndreaE20
      CommentAuthorAndreaE20
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    mine doesnt want to talk abut wedding stuff yet as we arent getting married for a while and probally not the year i want to but Im to exicited i want to do some bits now haha but oh well had some ideas from him yesterday though after pestering him

    Members signature icon
    Future Mrs Ryan
    First Date 4th July 2009
    Asked me to be his wife 6th Augest 2014
    Hoping to be his wife on 4th July 2017
  16.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
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    My OH is an idiot when it comes to planning OUR wedding, I flipped on him a few times at the beginning of planning but now we sort of decide together I do all the research and then say to him what do you think his response will be 'whatever' or 'are you happy with it'.

    Sometimes he will say so what's next to get like he has tonight as we have just confirmed coaches he says he is paying for it so that's as good as anything lol (cheeky pig he doesnt mean anything by it but he makes way more cash than I do as I only work PT)

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
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  17.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 14th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    I have tried getting my oh more involved but he says that all he wants its too be married to me, have found the best way is to give him a job eg, look through these bands and narrow them down. Make the wed site. Or giving him options (which one doo you like best)

    The thing he's most excited about is the stag doo.
    He says weddings are for the girls.

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  18.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 15th 2014
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      edited
     
    That's the same as my h2b Lana. He can't wait for the stag do lol x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  19.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 15th 2014
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    I do a lot more than my oh, but he is a lot more involved then what others seem to be. I usually have to push the talk of weddingy things but then he will give his opinion, which is annoying when he changes his mind, but saying that I do the same so I can't complain too much.




  20.  
    • GemmaS890
      CommentAuthorGemmaS890
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 15th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Oh dear alot of you are in the same boat i see. My oh has paid for my dress and has helped decide venues and guest list but thats it. Hes super busy looking for a job so we have a better budget which i am happier with to be fair
  21.  
    • CommentAuthorPunkpixi3
      Posted: Aug 15th 2014
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    Your post sounds exactly like my H2B! The only thing he is interested in is booking the cars. He wants a Ferrari and nothing less he has spent the whole "planning" period searching for the nicest one to rent his normal comment is "you want this so whatever you like" usually followed by me saying "you do want to get married don''t you" haha I sympathies with you all :D
  22.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 15th 2014
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    My OH has definately gotten more involved lately especially since I had a few major down points and realised he really needs to help. Don't get me wrong he isn't as involved as I am and there are times I need to light a fire under his backside to get him to do something (right now he has the job of organising the chocolate fountain and he is as of yet to contact them).

    Unlike a lot of men he really does not want a stag, he would rather just hang out with his BMAN and play a PC game. I do know however the BMAN is going to plan something though but it will be low key.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  23.  
    • AmandaK74
      CommentAuthorAmandaK74
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 16th 2014
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    Sally my OH is exactly the same so I can sympathise. Saying that I have learnt that his lack of decision making has a positive impact on what id like. I do try involve him but he is happy to let me lead the way. However it would be nice just to know he has genuine interest once in a while

    met 11th December 2010
    engaged 2nd August 2013
    getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
  24.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 16th 2014
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    Sally sorry to read they are like that ! You have better patience with me if someone pulled out lil miss perfect wedding album I would put it where the sun doesn't shine lol
    My friend went through a stage where her H2B was moaning anytime they visited any wedding related place even the suits so she stayed calm and went home and asked him would he rather she organise everything and he agreed ..... So she made up a scrapbook of real extreme wedding stuff where everything had pink glitter from the grooms suit to the seat covers and put about everyone having some sort of face paint on and then accidently left it on the coffee table open, a few hours later her H2B they discuss some options and he helped slightly more, it wasn't 100% effort but it was enough that there was no moaning or feeling like she had a toddler and not an adult :)

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  25.  
    • SallyB180
      CommentAuthorSallyB180
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 16th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Haha welshbridebethan, I wish someone would tell her to shove it lol, went to her other daughters 30th birthday party tonight, was requested to wear pink and the only conversation made by my mother in law to be was that I wasn't wearing pink, I'm glad it pissed her off lol.Amanda I hear ya babe, just the slightest bit of interest would do, why are men so thoughtless?? Xx
  26.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 17th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'm glad I'm not the only one! Although in fairness my H2B has chosen, ordered and paid for a pocket watch by himself and is currently messing about with stencils and fire buckets that we're putting flowers in down the aisle of the church. He organised the church side of it (I wrote the emails he pressed send!) and me and a close friend went with him to sort the suits out, and he's come up with some good suggestions, but generally it's being left to me. We went to visit his brother last night so they could start sorting out the stag night. He was a nightmare because he couldn't make up his mind what he wanted to do or who he wanted to invite! I made up his guest list in the end :o/ His poor brother has a real challenge on his hands!
  27.  
    • WelshGirlUpNorth
      CommentAuthorWelshGirlUpNorth
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 21st 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Ah I was worried my h2b was alone in his disinterest. He just agrees with everything I do which makes for an easy life but I wish he was a little bit more involved :D
  28.  
    • KayleighS46
      CommentAuthorKayleighS46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 23rd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    My OH isnt that bad when i think about it - I organised venue viewing etc and he came to every single one then we sat down and decided together, although i think he felt a little bad for doing this as its my parents who are paying for the venue (they paid for my sisters so its always been said they'd pay for mine) we decided on a colour together, he's picked his suite - and i mean colour, style, waistcost etc - only thing i've told him is that he has to have smart shiny black shoes (no DC's!) lol, I'm the one that does most fo the research into things and going to wedding fayres etc but hes never once moaned and he always has a opinion on what I'm doing or looking at so i'm quite thankful for that :D

    He's always said the day is mainly for me as all girls have a 'dream' wedding in mind but give him his due when I ask or tell him to do something he'll do it :)) xx

    Met 2013
    Propsed 2014
    Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
    always & forever xxx
  29.  
    • EricaJade
      CommentAuthorEricaJade
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 23rd 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Im glad it isn't just me! OH doesnt really seem to bothered, to the point where i've asked him several times if he still wants to marry me! I've sorted almost everything, and only left him with the rings, his and his sons suit and the food for the night do. He says that he 'does things when they need to be done' and that i started to early! We're paying for everything ourselves, which means saving and buying the little(ish) things every month, of course I wanted to start early!
    I've even ended up buying 'just in case' rings, just in case he doesn't get any!!
    He has had an input, and we've decided a lot together, and i've included him in anything ive though of, and he likes it all. He just doesn't seem motivated to do anything himself. Must be a guy thing haha
    All he says is that he doesnt care how/what/where as long as he marries me, which is lovely i suppose, but not helpful
 
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