We might, I'm not sure! h2b's mum has said that they will contribute, but as yet haven't offered any money or said how much they would/will give. It's really frustrating cos it means that we can't plan anything properly until we know for sure if they're even going to contribute. At the moment we're planning it around them not giving us anything, I think it's the safest thing to do.

My h2b moum said she would help out but she is not well at the moment and i really dont think she will be able to help us.
And i wouldnt feel comfortable asking her now.
I get on really well with her though
xxx

We have gone about planning our wedding with the intention to do everything ourselves and then if we do get help its a bonus. We have drawn up a savings scheme so no that we can afford everything we have organised. Are you in a position to afford what you've booked just with the help of your family because it sounds like if she does help she'll hold it against you. xxxx

I'm doing the same as Mrs Mcleish... if anyone wants to offer they can, but I'm not banking on it :0)

Well me and my h2b have has a few money issues and she has always said she would contribute (her husband made her chose him or my h2b, she chose the husband), She said she would help as she felt guilty in asking my h2b to leave, it just annoys me when someone would go back on their word, I understand what you mean becky -mrs firth 2b thats its our wedding, but thats the only help we need from her and its not like its alot of money, my parents don't have alot of money but they are helping when they can, i just think if you make a promise you should stick to it and not make a bull excuse!!

hi i have got the same thing my h2b mum and dad want there friends to come and said they would pay but now they dont want to but still want them to come plus more friends i have had enough xx

Thanks jo you are sooo right, we just wanted abit of help when needed but she didn't want to.
Who would choose the husband over their child, its just wrong. We will have an amazing day anyway. My h2b is upset with the fact that she promised to help but when he actually needed help she got snotty with him, We just dont want her saying that we didnt include her in any of the planning as she is already saying, but when we do ask she is always too busy!!

Do it without her help and if she says anything about not being involved just tell her straight, that you couldn't rely on her to come through for you based on past experience and her irresponsible attitude to motherhood.

Sorry it just really gets my goat.

Chole i have probelems with my MIL 2 .....well the problem is that she is refusing to come to the wedding because we wont have mr lalas nieces as bridesmaids....
Because Mr lala works away i have always called him mum to let her know that he arrived ok that hes doing fine and then what date time etc he is due home .....but due to the fact that the last 3 times i have seen here she has had a go at me ...once bc i said i needed to leave FIL bbq to get my painkillers ( a week after a shoulder op) .

so i have heard nothing from them and i havent called them either ... have told mr lala iwill give her an invite but only bc i have better manners than her but if she wants to come then she has to apologise to me

I know exactly how you feel but its the other way round, my parents offered to help and then my mum got all snotty. She said she only wanted to pay for stuff for me! She gets on well with my man so I was shocked. I sat down and spoke to them about it and we came to an agreement - she would give me the same as my brother and sister got. I said to her it wasnt so much the money it was more her attitude towards the wedding. I wanted her to be excited for me. We have had to book a low cost venue and spend as little as possible on everything. Nearly all our cash from our wages goes to paying bills and food and petrol (all the usual stuff) so we cant afford to put too much by. But we've just about worked it out now.

I would say dont let her get to you because at the end of the day its you he is marrying. Some people NEVER think anyone is good enough for their precious son. My mum is like that with my brother. Its really annoying but dont let it get to you. If you are worried about cash then the bay of e is a brides best friend lol.

xxxxxxxxxx

Lol my parents are helping which is nice, just annoys me who people promise something then go back on their word. we don't need her help 2bh just can see her saying that we didnt include her in the prep of the wedding xx

Yeah we have done everything our way now, h2b mum sent a really snotty email and upset h2b, She is now ignoring us as she is sat at the top table without her new husband as h2b and cannot stand him, we just keep feeling that she is going to ruin our day buy getting drunk or not looking like she is enjoying it, We don't really want to invite h2b mums husband as we don't get on with him and making his mum choose, can we not invite him or does he have to come?

how bad is the situation with H2Bs mum's husband(who i am going to refer to as Dave for the rest of this post)? Are you on speaking terms with Dave? does Dave know you and H2B don't like him? I think if Dave is trying to make mum choose between him and her son then Dave will have no qualms about instructing her not to go to the wedding if he is not invited...could be for the best though.

In terms of etiquette and being the bigger person then you should invite him. Dave is obviously very insecure and it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of his issues stem from not feeling part of the family. If you don't invite him then you are risking making that worse.

I hope this helps xxx

I will move this to the other thread now lol

It's my mum who is a nightmare. She offered up to £3000 to help with all dress costs include bridesmaid (after a yr of not speaking to me) but then changed her mind and said £500 for my dress and that's it. Whilst I am angry at her for many reasons whether she gives us any money or not isn't an issue because we never counted on her even attending let alone following through on anything helpful. (I'm still expecting her to say she doesn't like my dress so won't pay towards it)

What I'm trying to say is don't let it bother you. Plan your day without her help and when it is amazing you will be extra pleased because you didn't need the help.

You might have to do what I do with my mum to avoid the hurt. Ignore the offers of help like they weren't even made until she actually follows through and then it's a massive wonderful surprise lol