H2B has said he doesn't want a best man, any suggestions girls?? He doesn't feel that close to his long standing school friends although he does see them fairly often (playing golf mainly) they don't really confide in one another it's always just banter. He has a couple of other slightly closer friends, but hasn't known them as long so feels like he should be picking one of the old school friends. He's close with his brother but you know what brothers are like, he thinks his bro will outshine him on the big day (which he would try to do tbh). H2B is outgoing and got lots of friends but no best friend. At the moment he is saying he doesn't want a best man and is sticking to his guns - even when his mum gave him a lecture!! haha!!. I'm fine with whatever he wants to do, its his day as much as mine, but just wondered what you all thought and any advice?
CommentAuthorMrsSaraParry!
what about his dad? are they close? could that be a possibility?
CommentAuthorspooney24
What about him having a best woman instead if he has any female friends to fill that post? xx
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CommentAuthor*katie-Mrs Vlad2B*
i have got exactly the same problem hun! he doesnt want his dad or his brother.... and hes not got any 'close/best mates' so god knows whats going to happen but i wont force him to decide as its his big day too, and needs to be just as perfect for him, as me!! xx
CommentAuthorDW82
he can have how ever he wants hun just because he has known his school friends the longest doesnt mean they are right to be best man, he should chose whoever he believes will be there for him on the day, even if its a friend who he has know for 12 months if he feels they are there for him then he should chose them he doesnt have to feel like he is putting anyone out
He doesn't have to have anyone if he doesn't want to
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CommentAuthorMrs*Maria*Louise
he may change his mind closer to the time hun or may just be thinking it out but id let him work it out though hun so he will do whats right for him xx
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CommentAuthorsbride
My husband was the same. He wanted his brother to be best man but his brother couldnt, didnt have the confidence so he said if he couldnt have his brother he wouldnt have anyone. So when he was out on his stag do my little bother offered to be his best man. Paul was thrilled he had offered and my brother did a fantastic job. So maybe have a chat with his friends, and ask if any of them would be willing to offer. Maybe if one of them offer, your h2b will change his mind. His probably worrying that none of them will want to do it.
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CommentAuthorjo Santa
It's your day, there's no right or wrongs with things like that. We're having a small registry office wedding and I won't be given away and he won't be having a best man... we're doing it the way we want and you and your h2b should feel that you can too xx
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CommentAuthorada
If he does not want one then he dosent have to have one he might changehis mind later on only time will tell xx
CommentAuthorstar12345
My H2B asked if I'd be his best man as he says I'm his best friend :-) Bless him, so sweet of him, but I think I may be a bit busy being a bride ;-) x
CommentAuthorA.Bird2b
my h2b isn't having a best man either. He doesn't really have any close friends and he isn't inviting anyone but his parents to the wedding. But it is his choice, and it means one less suit to shell out for so I can't really complain, its not like I'm having any bridesmaids either (just our daughter and niece as flower girls, because I couldn't say no to all the pretty dresses and whatnot
CommentAuthorEnny
how about his dad or granddad? but tbh u dont have to have a best man if u dont want to :)
CommentAuthorIgnition
Leave him to it, if he doesn't want one at the moment, doesn't mean he won't decide in a few weeks or something that he actually really does want one. Tell him, that it can be anyone, even female though. In case he is feels he closer to a female than he is to his male friends. xx
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CommentAuthorExcited_bride_to_be
My h2b has been majorly let down by the friend he asked to be bestman. His friend said yes he would and then with nine weeks to go decides that he's not going to take a day off his uni course that starts the day before the wedding! Surely, it's not going to hurt to miss a day, especially so close to the beginning!! It's really upset my h2b, so now he's saying he doesn't want anyone. It's such a shame, all because someone who's meant to be his friend can't miss one day from the course. It's ridiculous, I know teachers that are starting then and have been able to get it off and teachers are never allowed days off outside of the school holidays! Sorry, I'm having a bit of a rant. I'm just leaving mine to it and hoping he changes his mind. xx
CommentAuthorIgnition
Oh no, that's awful. Such a shame to be let down like that. I hope everything works out.
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CommentAuthorAmy
Yeah my H2B has also recently been let down by his best man too. As his son is now in a dancing competition so they will be in London now that weekend. So no stag, no best man the night before the wedding (we are having a meal in the hotel with my parents and best man and bridesmaids and their families.) As his parents and two of his siblings arn't invited he was really counting on his best man and his best man is very apologetic but Dan was really relying on him and was shocked to be let down.
So I don't know what he's going to do.
He has asked someone else a long standing friend whom he has lost touch with over the past couple of years but is still willing to be best man, but he's due a baby in the next few weeks, and isn't sure that he will be able to dedicate too much time to it. But really apart from a stag do and a speech what is a best man for? I think Dan should just organise his own stag and just see this friend as much as he can in between. But hey that's my practical opinion which isn't necessarily going down too well!
I've decided to just leave him to it now. I can't do anything more! :-P
CommentAuthorMrs Badger
mine says he doesn't want a best man too. I think it'd be nice if he did hen he'd have someone to rely on to help, but if he is happy without I don't mind, I'm not having adult bridesmaids so guess its no different. x
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CommentAuthorMel D
If he doesn't want one, why should he have one? If you didn't want any bridesmaids would it be a big deal? Just because it's the "norm" doesn't mean he has to have one, especially if he can't think of anyone. To be honest, if he has to think about who he could ask then it might be better not to have one xx
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CommentAuthorlollilou
My h2b is having a woman. He did have guys to choose from but she is his oldest friend and the've always been close. I don't mind as I know her too and she's married. I would give your h2b some time. I do think that if he does decide to choose one they can be a great help.xx
CommentAuthorVicky
H2B has a best man but has only known him for three years. Best man is having a few family issues and his dad is very sick. I dont think it matter how long you know your best man, its if H2b likes him.. H2b has plenty of long standing school friemd but doesnt really see them that much!!
