So all of our wedding planning was going great. Everything's paid for now, we bought our rings a couple of weeks ago, had our final meeting at the venue.. I was feeling on top of the world.
Until my nan became seriously ill. I won't bore you with all the details but scans scans & more scans. Two tumours on her lungs. She already has COPD, her body just can't take that pressure.
My wedding countdown now seems to be a countdown to something else. I'm so so upset :'( she told my mum earlier she probably won't be able to make it to the wedding, maybe just the ceremony at a very big push.
How am I supposed to enjoy my big day while my nan's dying in hospital? I'm gutted, well & truly gutted. Considering postponing the wedding but I just don't know what to do :'( h2b upset when I suggested it, of course. Now we're both crying in different rooms and somehow I'm absolutely dreading my big day :'(
CommentAuthorTori
There's still a chance she may make it to the wedding hun, surely you would prefer that than waiting xxxxx
CommentAuthorMrsHarrison
I guess so but we wouldn't know until the day, it would depend on how she's feeling and I know I'll feel terrible for celebrating without her there :( life's so unfair sometimes xxx
CommentAuthorPoppy x
Oh hun, I'm so sorry :((( I'm sure she'd rather you go ahead with it, even if she couldn't get to you. However, see how you feel when you've had time to digest the information. And go into the next room, and give each other a mahoosively big hug, you sound like you both need it xx
CommentAuthorLoz K
That's awful news to get,so sorry to hear that. But you should ask your nan first, she might not want you to postpone anything for her sake, and like the others say she may well get better in time for the wedding. And if worse comes to worse, wouldn't she be happier knowing that you've had your big day and have the rest of your life to look forward to?
P.S. there's always Skype nowadays, if she can't make it then she can still be there, just not in person
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Do not cancel!!!! I'm sure you nan would not want that.... There's still a chance she will be there but please don't cancel hun xx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
Your nan won't want you to cancel your big day She may still make it for your ceremony skype Lend your nan your iphone for face time there should be lots of ways to get round it don't dread the biggest day of your life as your nan is so looking forward to seeing her grandaughter get married X
Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college
Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together
To be Mrs Lana Jocelyn Deaton on 23.10.2015 5 years the day
Jamiroquai Arthur Gordon Deaton Born 29/05/2015 My Son Jammy
CommentAuthorGillianE
Don't be hasty and cancel everything, your nan would not want you to do that. I know it is hard knowing you nan is dying, and you were really excited for your wedding. But what if you cancelled everything and your nan could make it.
my grandma died jan last year she had been ill for quite sometime and i was considering caring for her to relieve pressure of my mum. However my grandma went into hospital in the dec of 2011, which for my mum she tried to put everything on hold (christmas, the birth of my nephew) so we took all this to my grandma in hospital and it became our 2nd home.
As already suggested take some time out and think things through and you and your h2b and family support each other through these difficult times. xx
CommentAuthorMrsHarrison
Thanks for all your kind words ladies, it just upsets me that all the family will be with me if she can't make it. I'd feel so guilty & selfish :( love love love the Skype idea though thanks for that one xxx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Oh no hun! BIG HUGS!
It must be difficult but don't cancel as that's likely to be the last thing she'd want, imagine how guilty that would make her feel.
I'm loving the Skype idea. I want to do that for my family abroad as most can't make it due to the cost of flying out, not sure the Priest would be too impressed with us doing that though.
Hope things work out xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorbrilly
Aww big hugs hun so sorry to hear about your nan, May be if she cant make it get someone to video the wedding and make her a disc to watch it :) x
31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018
CommentAuthorBrideInTraining
Aww hun I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you find a way to enjoy your day as I'm sure your nan would not want you to cancel.
The skype idea sounds great.
Xx
CommentAuthorJEm1905
Oh hun :( I'm sorry to hear about your Nan but don't give up on her yet. There is still chance! IF she can't make it maybe try and get her on skype so she can still see whats going on then on your way to your reception pop in and surprise her?
I also like the disc idea, it will give her something to treasure. I hope your nan starts to feel better soon x
Got together - 19th May 2009
Our Civil Partnership - 19th May 2012
Waiting to re-Marry my Princess Legally
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
the hospital staff will be doing everything they can and its amazing how the body can fight when it wants to , i agree with the girls i have no doubt you nan would hate to be the reason you cancelled....and your wedding will be the thing that she can focus on at the moment , i can understand why she said what she did ..she would have been feeling very down , now there needs to be lots of talk about how exciting things are getting to help raise her spirits too
I totally agree with Lala, it will be something positive for her to focus on, and I'm sure she would feel very upset if you cancelled the wedding on her account....
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorRachaelC84
I really know what you must be going through.... we got engaged in December 2011. At the time my Nan had cancer but it was all under control and she was very healthy. We agreed that we would get married in June 2013 which would be 18 months from the day we got engaged. We decided on the date as it would give us time to save and also thought my Nan would be there before she became too il as the doctors had told her she had 10 good years left. It came to May last year and my Nan was going down hill fast, her second lot of chemo had not worked as well as the first lot. In August last year she went to to hospital as she was not eating and had to go on a drip. A few weeks later she was in a home and died in September. I was absolutely devestated and was so close to my Nan that I had always imagined her to be there. Obviously as time was passing by we knew that my Nan wasnt going to make it to the wedding, so I aaranged with the shop where i had bought my dress from if I could borrow the shop dress just to take to the home where my Nan was and show her it on just so we can all say my Nan saw me in my dress. It was so upsetting but i am so glad i did it. At the time when my Nan was deteriorating we did think about putting the wedding forward but she would have still been too ill to attend and she told me it would make her more happy to carry on with what we had planned. She is buried at the church where we are getting married at so will still feel very close to her and she will be there but just not in person. Life is cruel sometimes and would have given my right arm to have her there but she was sufferig so much it was the right time for her to go :-( I would not cancel the wedding, your Nan would not want to see you or your H2B upset and would want you to carry on with your plans just like my Nan did. xx
CommentAuthorLulu1388
Aw hun I'm sorry to hear about your Nan, and I'm sorry you're all having to go through this. Your Nan would definitely not want to find out she is the reason behind you postponing your special day. She needs that to focus on, even if she can only get to the ceremony - thats the most important part, to see you walk down that aisle and get married. And if she can't make it to the ceremony itself, then the Skype or Disc idea sound fab, gives her something to watch and take her mind off of things elsewhere!
Chin up hun sending big hugs x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorMrsHarrison
Thank you everybody for your kind words. My nan had a really good day yesterday, was talking about the wedding & being very positive and optimistic which was lovely to see (: I guess we'll just have to see what happens. We get more test results back on Tuesday then we'll know the best course of treatment. Not planning on postponing. Just really hope she can make it. Keep your fingers crossed for me! Xxx
CommentAuthorKatya
i hate to sound harsh and this is really not meant that way.... but if she was to go tomorrow.... would you cancel? would she want you to cancel? or would she want you to enjoy your big day?
on the other hand.... if she goes afterwards.... but you have postponed already... do you not think that she would be upset that you postponed on her account? feel bad that you dont get your big day because of her?
personally i would continue on with the wedding, if she makes it, you will have plenty of pictures for her, if she doesnt, you can have a toast "to those that are unable to be here, we know your looking down on us and will keep smiling for you today"
sorry if that is a bit blunt... i honestly dont mean it that way
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
i think that if you cancelled the wedding you could make her worse. I wouldn't cancel the day i really wouldn't maybe on the way from the ceremony to the reception (if they are seperate) you could pop in a see her if she can't make it?
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
Im really sorry to hear your sad news. I understand that you want your nan there but I also understand your h2b's desire for the wedding to go ahead. Its a hard decision to make. Maybe as Leanne suggested, you could go and see her in your dress before the ceremony and see if she feels up to coming to your big day. x
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthorJanie
i can imagine what you are going through, my FIL2B had COPD, has had cancer 3 times and is ill at the moment but isnt saying much, which has us all wondering if he isnt saying whats going on. 5 weeks isnt long, i really hope your nan can make it to the wedding, hopefully in those weeks she wont get too much worse...you never know, people can be stubborn when theyre seriously ill but waiting for an event like that. I cant say wether you shuld cancel or not, only you can make the choice, but i hope all goes well
Remember : To the world you may be just one person,
BUT to one person you may just be THE WORLD x x x
CommentAuthorsarah
My fingers are crossed for you and your family
CommentAuthorMrsHarrison
**UPDATE**
Hi everyone, I just thought I'd update you with the news. My nan went to the hospital today to see the consultant.
It's terminal lung cancer which has spread to her bones & spine.
We're all devestated but need to stay strong for her. She goes back on Thursday to find out about treatment options & to figure out how long she has left. Why is life so cruel sometimes? :'(
CommentAuthorStaceyP91
Oh no :( I am really sorry to hear this :(
Xxx
30-11-13 my life becomes complete
Mrs Solomon to be
CommentAuthorJennifer84
I'm really sore to hear about your Nan. Life really is awful sometimes! I hope she is able to attend your wedding, even just for a littlw while xx
CommentAuthorJennifer84
I'm really sorry* rather xx
CommentAuthorkrissy905
so sorry to hear your news xxx
CommentAuthorMrs Cartwright
Sorry to hear your news. Thoughts go out to you and your family. Hope she can make it to your wedding x
CommentAuthorsarah
I'm so sorry that this is the diagnosis. You have a lot of people thinking of you and I hope you & your family can stay strong for your nan.
CommentAuthorBobsi
Oh Hun I'm so sorry to hear about your nan. Is horrible when someone gets ill.
Try and keep her strong and happy by being strong yourself. Hope she can make it to your day. X
Got together June 11th 2006
Getting married June 11th 2014
8 years to the day and I'll be Mrs T.
CommentAuthorStacyT
so sorry to hear hun. hugs for you all x
Cant wait to become Mrs Ellerington!!!!!
CommentAuthorBrideInTraining
So sorry to hear that :( big hugs x
CommentAuthorKellyB81
Sorry to hear the update :( Hope she makes your special day xxx
Kelly x
CommentAuthorKristyM72
Oh, how sad for you. You're nan would certainly not want you to delay your wedding. Life can be so cruel sometimes. I know you will all be hoping she will be there on your day, but also feeling that maybe she won't. Just a little thought; do you have your dress yet? Maybe have a bit of a girly day at your nan's, with your mum and sisters/aunts, have a bit of a fitting going on and talk about the things that you know WILL happen on the day, ask your nan if she has a favourite song she used to share with your grandad that could be incorporated in to your service..... that way your nan will feel she has been involved in your wedding, then if she is too ill to make it, at least you will both feel she is a part of it. And Skype is such a lovely idea too. Love to you all; my thoughts and prayers are with you xxxx
CommentAuthorLynD
xxxx am so so sorry
CommentAuthormrsheavey2b
No not hun am so sorry stay strong if they r looking at treatment they must think she has a chance as I know when my Nan had cancer she was so I'll they wouldn't even entertainte I dear of treatment I know its hard just keep ya chin up at celebrate every day you have with her x
CommentAuthorGillianE
I am so sorry hun, xxx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Awe hun im so sorry!
:(
Try and stay strong you never know mrsheavey2be is right they wouldnt offer treatment if they didnt think it was beneficial to her!
5 weeks isnt that long away and chatting to ur nan about the wedding may take her mind off things anyways! She'll know how important ur day is to u and im sure she will try 100% to be there!
Keep ur chin up hun :) We're all here for u! xxxx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorJodyx
So sorry to hear about your nan hun, its terrible, chin up, im sure that would be the last thing she would want you to do to cancel you wedding xxx
Cant Wait to Marry My Soul Mate on 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorLoz K
Sorry to hear that, my thoughts to your nan x
CommentAuthorbex
try stay strong one way or another she will be with u xx
marrying the man of my dreams
we have 2 perfect children together
the day i become mrs clifford can't come quick enough
26/08/2013 :-)
CommentAuthorclive
edited
So sorry to hear this....
It's just a suggestion, and I realise that this is a bit 'out there' so to speak, and will be way out of your comfort zone, BUT....
...Why don't you and H2B have a small blessing in hospital, with your band? Just the two of you, plus the celebrant? At least doing this she will see you get married. It's just a thought, so take with a pinch of salt if needs be, but please don't cancel. Itll only compound the hurt on both sides.
