Hey ladies.... Me and my fiance set up our website for our wedding and i decided to include the fact that i would like the guests to steer clear of white/ivory/cream outfits and as we're having a masquerade ball in the evening, no white/cream/ivory masks. I always thought it was a well known rule not to wear white to a wedding but i have seen it happen more often recently and would rather warn my guests i wont be amused rather than be cross on the day..... am i being rude by putting this info on the site? I have done it in a discreet and polite way.
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
I can't understand why anyone would want to wear those colours to someone else's wedding unless asked to by the bride. It's just not the done thing
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CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
My friend got married last year and one of her friend's mum's came to the black tie wedding wearing what can only be described as a wedding dress!!! It was a sort of 20's style pure white dress - we were all horrified. The woman's daughter was doing a reading in the church and was also wearing white! My friend was not impressed at all. You would think people would have the common sense to realise that might not be appropriate! Xx
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CommentAuthorJill
I'm with you on that tbh... and no it's not at all rude, it shouldnt be a colour of choice to anyone but the bride. Why anybody would wear white/ivory to a wedding is beyond me... it's not their day! I asked my friend for her wedding if she minded me wearing creams trousers (coloured top) as I didnt want her thinking I was muscling in - and that was with trousers not a dress. She did laugh out loud actually but hey - at least I asked! I generally find it's attention seekers who want to wear white on the day anyhow, people who want to steal the show unless of course the dress code is black and white but even then Id feel uncomfortable wearing a white dress to someones wedding. A bit of white I think is ok, just not a pure white/ivory dress/outfit... that's cheeky or thoughtless x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorJill
lol mrsclarke - 'what can only be described as a wedding dress' haha... not funny for your friend but you wonder what goes through peoples heads dont you... 'I know what... seeing as I'm going to a wedding I'll get my wedding dress out the cupboard - it's the perfect opportunity' lol x
Its not rude at all. Unless you have a black and white theme people should really know to stay clear of white/cream/ivory dresses, but there is always one who will turn up on the day lol.
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CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
I'm with Jill here. I think a full on white/ivory dress is not really appropriate. But then traditionally dark colours are also inaproppropriate. So it's a fine line between pastel and cream! I personally love white/ivory as a combination colour for wedding outfits and think it fits the occassion best. The last wedding I went to I also asked the bride if she's ok with a white cardigan and white shoes - I also got laughed at not to be silly but at least I asked! :-) For the wedding I went to before that one I wore a black and white skirt.
So bottom line - voice your wish clearly to avoid disappointment!
It’s so great to find that one special person
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CommentAuthorUnknown
i agree guests shouldnt wear white. at out wedding ed's sister wore whight which really annoyed me and a friend in the evening wore whight too.
i dont understand why you would to be honest xx
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
Av told my guests bluntly that i don't want them wearing white ivory or fushua but my sister has apparently got a cream skirt suit and to say i went ape on her is an understatement i think its rude and inconsiderate i even seriously thought about putting someone on door and refusing them entry x
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CommentAuthorJules
I agree too, I think any1 wearing white (except for the bride obviously) at a wedding is a no no (unless you have asked them to). I have been to a few weddings that women have fworn white & not only has it upset the bride but it's also made them the talk of the day (which I think is what they had wanted) SO RUDE x
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CommentAuthorkirsty91
Its common wedding etiquette not to wear white/ivory (unless asked of course). I would hate it if someone wore those colours to my wedding. I think its fine to remind people of this in a polite way. What was your wording? X
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CommentAuthorAnastasia
I went to a wedding were the Groom's mothers, best friend wore a white dress & she was the talk of the wedding all day! Totally took the lime light... very thoughtless I say! I think you have every right to tell people, I know I would like to know if there were certain colours the bride didn't want me to wear because sometimes they don't like you wearing the colour of the wedding party either x
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CommentAuthorUnknown
i asked my guests not to wear purple as it was my wedding colour. everyone was fine about it except my older sister and we had a bit of a row over it.
i told her in the end if she wore it she wouldnt be let in by the ushers and i really meant it!! xx
CommentAuthorJill
Why would people argue the point... surely you should feel lucky enough to be invited so if there's a request to not wear a certain colour it is only one or two colours... so many more to choose from! x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorJanie
i dont think youre being rude at all, it's your day aftfer all. My OH and I have ASKED guests to wear white where possible, because we personally think an all white wedding looks lovely, BUT we are doing everything different, and what a boring world it would be if we all liked the same things :)
It is general knowledge you dont usually wear white though, but as you say it is something being seen more and more often
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CommentAuthorLegoWife
I'm sure wearing black to a wedding used to be a no no because you wear black to a funeral as a sign of mourning.
I see no issue with white though as long as no one is wearing a dress that way too similar to a wedding/prom dress.
Personally I think unless there's a very set theme telling your guests what clothes they need to wear in particular, telling people what colours they can't wear is too bridezilla for my liking. if it bothered me that much I'd let everyone know the bridal colours in advance but its not for me to say no ones allowed to wear it.
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CommentAuthorEcoFreak
I think you've done the right thing by stating it on your wedding website - now if anyone does wear white they've clearly done it to be the centre of attention/rude.
Generally I think wearing such colours (unless it's the theme) is a bit of a no-go but if you have specifically asked people not to then it's a definite NO! Xx
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
I agree Holly :-)
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorLegoWife
It just bugs me! Especially because what if Great Auntie Mavis is getting on a bit and only has one wedding outfit? What if it just so happens to be white or whatever bridal colour? What if she can't afford to buy a new outfit for the wedding? Not exactly fair to say she can't wear it! Same can apply to anyone who can't afford to buy new formal wedding guest attire!
At the end of the day, the bride is the only bride and her bridesmaids are going to be the only bridesmaids there! Everyone is going to know who's who and if a guest is wearing a similar colour it's really not the end of the world! Unless someone shows up in a BM dress in the same colour and style with a bouquet in their hands and stalks the bridesmaids it really shouldn't be an issue! And anyone showing up in another bridal gown is sure to be shown the door pretty quickly!
As always though, that's just my opinion, I'm not a fussy person lol.
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CommentAuthorTinsel
I put on my invites something like 'we kindly ask gentlemen wear lounge suits and ladies avoid the bridal party colours, black and white.' To be honest, unless like Lala you have ASKED people to wear those colours, I would think it common knowledge NOT to wear them...!
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CommentAuthorKat
I'm torn on this issue. If it's a summer wedding I can see how white would be the go to colour for an outfit. However I would think twice about showing up at any wedding in the bridal colours without talking to the bride. Consequently I would expect my guests to do the same. I do belong to a rather insensitive family regarding this issue though and have had to have words with many of my family about assuming it is ok to wear a white dress to a wedding. So if I get too wound up about it I can see me spending my wedding day doing nothing but arguing!!
CommentAuthorOWB
I'm split on this. I don't particularly mind what people wear to mine, they can wear black, white, wedding colours or whatever they like as long as they turn up looking smart. Some people do need telling though, my friend had two boys turn up to hers in full football strips! Annoyed isn't the word.
So, if you have a clear vision of what isn't wanted by all means tell them, but I think Holly is right, if your 83 year old aunt Maureen turns up in a cream suit and hat, it's not the end of the world - if your friend from work plans to turn up in a full length white prom dress on the other hand...
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CommentAuthorOfficialMrsField
I wouldn't personally be bothered to be honest. Providing no one else turns up in a wedding dress I couldn't give a flying fig...lol.x
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CommentAuthorUnknown
Jill...the reason my sister argued about it was because the bm were in purple and she wasnt a bm and got jealous.
the dress she bought for my wedding was near enough identical to the bm and was exact colour!! jealousy does strange things to people xx
CommentAuthorJill
lol Terri, I wouldnt even bother, more embarrassing for your sister lol
Holly I never thought of it that way, people might not have anymore money to spend. On the most part though, common sense would tell people that if you buy an outfit you'd intend to wear for weddings/special occasions, it shouldnt be white as normally that is reserved for the bride.
Aww anyway.... cant wait to wear my wedding dress! How sad that we only get to wear it the once... might save mine for my friends wedding next year lol x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthoremmaaa
Bit confused now to be honest, are we just talking about pure white / ivory and bridal colours in the style of the bridal party? The dress I wear to all weddings and big occasions is white with big blue flowers on it, it didn't even occur to me that it'd be offensive, certainly no-one's ever mentioned anything about it! Even if white and blue were the wedding colours, it's just a dress I bought for £4 from TK Maxx about 8 years ago that fits well, I'm not trying to steal anyone's thunder, I just have enormous problems finding dresses that actually fit me and look nice. I'd be pretty peeved if someone came in something that could be reasonably interpreted as a wedding dress, but that's not really the same thing, it's the trying to be the centre of attention that I'd have a problem with, not that they were wearing the same colours as the bridal party.
CommentAuthorSian''OCD''Holkham
Anyone who dares to turn up in white/ivory etc at my wedding will get a glass of red wine chucked over them and most of my friends and family know this is my feeling on the matter so god help anyone who does turn up in those colours x
Well, the general concensus seems to be that white is a defininte no go area so i feel a bit better. Of course if an elderly relative turns up a cream suit then i wont let it bother me... At my cousins wedding a guest turned up in an ivory lace dress so thats the kind of thing id be annoyed about! I do see some of your points that it is a small issue for some and aside from this i am pretty relaxed about everything on the day, but for one day i would like to reserve the right to stand out... we are having black and purple as our wedding colours with the bridesmaids in black, so im happy for any colours whatsoever apart from white/ivory. Ive just put 'no white/cream or ivory' in brackets next to the notice of formal attire on the site so it is a subtle notice which i hope wont offend. Thank you very much for your comments ladies, much appreciated. x
CommentAuthormadhen
i think you're perfectly ok to say that - as so many other ladies have pointed out, it shouldn't even be necessary, don't know why people would do that! but you're being honest and fair and letting them know so i think you're right.
CommentAuthorMrs Cerutti2b
Totally agree! I can't understand people wearing white/ivory to weddings, surely its just common sense. I mean white main colour to a dress, but covered (and I mean covered) in bright colour flowers maybe acceptable. But if I was going to a friends wedding it would certainly be a colour i'd avoid!
CommentAuthormadhen
h2b's cousin's wife wore a cream twenties-style flapper dress to h2b's brother's wedding in june, and even though she had bright turquoise shoes, fascinator, bag, etc., it still looked bad to me, like why on earth pick that colour out of all possible colours to wear?! i thought it was weird...
CommentAuthorsuzky123
I dont think you are being rude. We are writing on ours 'formal wear only' as we have seen some people turn up in shorts before now. I think sometimes you just have to as common sense seems to have gone out of the window with some guests over the last decade or so. What happened to ettiqute... I know I cant spell haha! It wasnt even hot enough to warrant the shorts. Made the photies look awful.
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CommentAuthorJill
I cant imagine why anyone would think it was ok to turn up to a wedding in shorts - unless it was a beach themed wedding lol x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
we were going to put no ivory or purple on the invites but to be honest i'm not all that fussed now. My nan is wearing a black and white dress with a white jacket, black hat and shoes which i think is acceptable but anymore white than that i think is just rude!
Purple is one of the wedding seasons colours atm so it would be mean to say no purple
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CommentAuthorShirleygirly
I wouldn't make my guests feel uncomfortable in any colour, it's a free country and they can wear whatever they can afford and feel comfortable in. I'm not insecure enough to feel that somebody wearing the same colour as me is going to look any better. If I had an invitation to a wedding that told me what colours I could and couldn't wear I probably wouldn't bother going. I wore a cream dress with all red accessories to the last wedding I went to and nobody had a problem with it, I'm certainly not an attention seeker or desperate to steal the lime light off any bride it was just the outfit that made me feel good on that day. At the end of the day it's your wedding and if you want to make stipulations on colours that's entirely up to you.
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CommentAuthorbridalmiss
Likewise I don't want to specify any particular colours, but as it's a summer wedding hopefully people will wear something bright - I've had 2 guests ask me for cultural purposes about colour, and the only stiplutations are that you don't wear block white (means death in Chinese) or block red (bridal colour) - in a mixed pattern though it's fine :-)
CommentAuthorJanie
I think the way you have worded your request sounds fine and isnt rude at all. I believe, presonally, it is YOUR big day and if you would like to politely ask guests to wear or not wear a colour or style of clothes then there is nothing at all wrong with that, in any way shape or form.
Wedding etiquette seems to have gone out of the window these days, black and white are certainly NOT colours you would wear under normal wedding etiquette. If i had said please DONT wear white or cream and someone turned up in it i would consider them extremely rude selfish and insensitive to my wishes.
As long as it is worderd politely, which you have done, i dont have a problem with it. And i certainly wouldnt refuse to go to a wedding that requested a certain colour of clothes, to me that seems like cutting my nose of to spite my face... why shouldnt peple have a clour request for guests?
Remember : To the world you may be just one person,
BUT to one person you may just be THE WORLD x x x
CommentAuthorMrs Badger
I don't think your request was rude at all, a lot of people do not want guests to wear white and if I was your guest I would respect your wishes and do so happily.
I wouldn't mind if a guest turned up in white/ivory/etc but if someone turned up in something which resembled a wedding dress I wouldn't be impressed at all. I am encouraging my guests to wear a colourful outfit and informing them that since the wedding is outdoors and informal clothing will need to be comfortable. xx
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CommentAuthormym72
I think people worry too much about what guests are going to be wearing to their wedding. If you truly love your wedding dress, bm dress etc, then think about it rationally - no one is going to wear the same thing. If your dress is truly spectacular/gorgeous etc then only you will stand out, not your guests.
I had no rules on dress for guests. Our colour scheme was blue but I wasn't bothered if anyone turned up in blue. My dress was ivory - but some guests wore ivory/white - and trust me, they didn't overshadow me lol.!! And as for wearing black - why not??? Some people feel comfortable in black (it's dressy and formal). I personally wear a lot of black usually and would be offended if anyone told me that I could only wear light/pastel colours as it's just not my thing.
All I wanted for my guests was for them to feel comfortable - as they were in the same clothes all day/evening. I would have been mortified if they'd turned up in jeans/football kits etc - but I knew none of them would either, as they know how to dress for a wedding.
CommentAuthorNuttynonnie
oh god uz have got me feelin really bad!! i went to a evening wedding reception in a ivory pencil type dress (not at all like a wedding dress tho) i thought coz it was teh evening reception that it should be fine :-O does everybody think im a b**ch :-( hopefully she didnt!!! xxx
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CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
sorry, but i don't think i'm insecure for thinking it's rude for guests to wear white to a wedding.
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorJanie
i dont think you are either kisywisy. Dont think it has anything to do with insecurity, just personal preerence nad wedding etiquette etc. The only reason i say i wouldnt wear black to a wedding, or that etiquette says you shouldnt, is just because of the association with funerals / mourning and black. I mean, i wouldnt ban black entirely, maybe something with black in it, but personally i would never wear an all black outfit and feel it isnt for weddings myself, but i so realise some people feel comfortable in black.
Remember : To the world you may be just one person,
BUT to one person you may just be THE WORLD x x x
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
Kisywisy I don't think thats what Shirleygirly meant.
I have to admit I had the same thought - it never occurs to me that people could 'upstage' me or the bms. This is partly because I think I am secure enough in believing it won't happen even if someone turns up naked and also partly because I care about each and every guest and I would never ever assume they would put something on to malicously outshine someone.
But I still think it's rude if someone turns up in a dress that could resemble a wedding dress. But I don't mind if people wear white/cream/ivory and couldn't care less if people wear my wedding colours (even if it would be just 1).
It’s so great to find that one special person
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CommentAuthorPapillonEmma
I have asked my guests not to wear a white or red dress. If they wanted to wear a patterned dress that was white and red, that would be fine, I just dont want there to be any confusion and I believe colours are important. I want my bms to stand out in their beautiful dresses. I know I will stand out, but I think I am more likely too if no one else is in a similar colour.
I dont think its rude of you to put that. I have done the same. But I have also written a note that if this is a probably then please talk to me. I just dont want any surprises on the day.
CommentAuthortimpson123
I think the style of the dress is more important than the colour. Would you be happy if someone turned up in a full on red or blue or whatever ball gown? No. Would a knee length pencil style dress and jacket in white/ ivory be preferable? i would think so. I don't think it's a rude request at all. I personally think it wouldn't be necessary for me to say it to my guests as they are all friends and family and would not do it on purpose to offend me if they did wear white/ivory. And as others have said everyone know it's my wedding they are attending so anyone attempting to uptage me will look like an idiot.
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
I think it all depends on how you wear the white etc. My sister wore a white lace long sleeve top and black tights and accessories for our aunts wedding and I think that looks fine and didn't look anything like a wedding dress or trying to steal the limelight. However I did see one of my ex's friends wedding photos and the bride had my sisters dress on!
CommentAuthormcquire81
Seems like i have opened a pandoras box of opinions on this subject!!! I am not at all insecure about my dress or myself as a person, i just believe in certain wedding etiquette and principle that white is a no go for wedding guests, however my initial question was obviously how to put this on my wedding website without being rude, which most of you seem to think ive done completely fine. Thank you for your comments ladies i will worry no more!
CommentAuthorsuzky123
hehe very good :)
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weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthormcquire81
By the way Suzky123 i agree on the 'formal wear only' too as we are putting that also! We are having a masquerade ball in the evening though so jeans wouldnt really 'go'!!!!
