So here's my issue. When I wrote my guest list, I included a + guest for every single friend. However, h2b hasnt done so and doesnt see why he should invite strangers to the wedding as guests when he could have used that place for someone he knows.
I'm torn, he has a really good point, but is it rude to invite just them and not offer them the chance to bring a guest? I could invite quite a few more people if I cut out the plus one for the single people....
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorMiss Nikki
We're not inviting +1 except for those closest to us to our wedding (i.e our flatmate will have a +1 because him and his girlfriend aren't serious enough for us to give them a joint invite) but when it comes to our other friends, cousins etc, we're not giving them a +1 because, like your h2b we don't want strangers at our wedding. At the end of the day, it's your decision, but think of the added food expenses too!
CommentAuthorshelby
We're not inviting plus 1 to the ceremony as we cant have any more than 75 plus we want it to be close family and friends there but if guests going to the ceremony have someone they wanted to bring they are giving the choice of coming to the reception. xx
7th May when I officially become Mrs Naylor
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
I decided to send a few single friends a message and ask them if they would be terribly offended by it so I'll see what the consensus is
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorlisamann2b
hi, i have just invited my friends during the day and told them that there partners are welcome on the night time! i have invite my partners work friends aswell and put to e.g karen and partner. plus its your day invite who you want because its you that is paying.
Thats the problem I was having so we've decided we're not having plus ones. Only those guests with a serious partner are getting them if that makes any sense. I dont want a wedding full of people I dont know... Its going to be bad enough as it is as me and H2b have only been together 10 months so I havent met over half his family yet.
Shelby we're going down that route too, if guest want to bring someone they are welcome to the reception. Are you having food at the reception as well? xx
CommentAuthorlisamann2b
same here ria, me and my h2b have only been together 1year and he had not met any of my friends partners so its all strange for him to, i dnt agree with loads of random people coming like so at the end of the day i am paying so i invite who i want. x
CommentAuthorshelby
yeah ria we are having a buffet xx
7th May when I officially become Mrs Naylor
CommentAuthorRia_1985
Argh I dont know whether to have a buffet at the reception as there will b people that didnt come to the meal... But then there's reason they didnt because its only close family and friends! Plus we'll be having the meal late-ish! God this wedding stuf is confusing! lol xx
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
well i've been with h2b for 4.5 years so we have a lot of friends in common but I didnt want all these strangers taking up places of my friends
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorRia_1985
I completely agree with you nicpep... As my H2b put it you wouldnt grab a stranger off the street and pay £35-£50 for a meal and drinks for the would u! When you think of it that way its laughable that you were thinking of it in the first place!! xx
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
i know, i just assumed I had to do a plus one for everyone to be polite but when you think about it, it doesnt make sense. 2 have replied so far saying they are fine with just an invite and not a plus one, as long as there are other people they will know, so they arent alone with a load of couples lol
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorEmmielene
I've done plus ones but that is really only because I'm from the northwest, My H2B is from Kent and we live in the midlands. I didnt want people travelling all that way from both sides and not knowing anyone or feeling uncomfortable with people they hadnt seen in a million years.
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
ah you see this is my other issue. We have just moved house and all my friends will have to travel from hertfordshire to hampshire, so feel bad making them do it alone, but on the flip side, about 80% of the guests are coming from there and all know each other
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorEmmielene
difficult isnt it.. I was thinking of not giving family +1's cos they all know each other! but offering +1's to friends
CommentAuthorGoff
No +1's here. We cant afford it anyway.
We're only having an informal meal after our wedding and paying for the immediate wedding party, we will be stating that everyone else is welcome to join us but ratrher than pay for a present for us we would prefer they join us at the meal paying for themselves.
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorPossum
We're kind of having blood relatives' partners, but not friends' partners. We have a few friends who don't know anyone else, but they don't mind not having a plus one. If people don't want to come without their partner, then they don't have to come.
I figure, if anyone is important enough to be there, then they are important enough to know that it is your day and it is up to you who you invite.
CommentAuthorJay
were only having plus ones if i know them lol, if i know and like the guests partner then theyre going to be invited, i dont want strangers at my wedding! can you imagine being introduced to someone on your wedding day >:( xx
CommentAuthorKizzy81
I've gone with the view that if they know at least one other person at the wedding, and we don't know their "plus one", they're coming alone! If it's an isolated person, they get a "plus one" so they have someone they know and can talk to! I think out of 60 day guests we have 2 "plus ones".
CommentAuthorDiana89
I'm planning something really informal anyway, it's going to be a church wedding and I figure whoever wants to come to the ceremony can then I'm just planning on hiring a big social club for the reception (it's where we have staff parties and one of my supervisors had her reception there last year) so I figure there's plenty of room for those who want to bring +1s but I doubt many will tbh. I want a small formal dinner the night before in a nice hotel just for the bridal party some close relatives (the ones we like and see more than every few years) and very close friends where no +1s would be allowed.
CommentAuthorminniesjocky
I am glad i read this thread, i was having the same problem and it was doing my head as it would prob cause arguements but after reading some of your post i have made my decission. At the end of the day it's my wedding and i will do whats best for me and my h2b no one else................ Thanks girls :) xxx
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
I'm not having any + 1's at the actual wedding. There will only be 20 of us in total and I don't want to have to pay for a meal for people I don't know. We are getting married quite late (3pm) and will be eating at about 4.30 / 5, the 'other halves' can come along at 7 ish. If people get offended by that, it's a shame but I'm not changing my mind
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorjenn
we're not having plus ones purely for cost, trying to keep it down as much as possible, plus i wana spend the day with people i know!! :)
CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
like ria we are only inviting the plus ones who are in a serious relationship. at the end of the day it is your wedding and it is up to you who you invite. so what if people are offended? it is yours and your hubby to be's big day not theirs, they should count themselves grateful that they are getting an invite at all, spaces are limited at a lot of venues, so invite who you want not who you feel you should!
CommentAuthorlemlau
my sister did the same! they didn't do plus one for the singles as they would prob just find a random and they would be intheir pictures and no-one would know who they were in years to come! we are doing the same!! we are inviting the people we KNOW and if they have partners nearer the time they can come in the evening! we have limited numbers at the venue for during the day so i'm being harsh so basically if you don't like it don't come! ! lol
xx
Live every moment
Laugh everyday
Love beyond words
Happily ever after
CommentAuthorlkparfitt
the only +1s were having is the partners of the ppl my h2b works with as he isnt sure on their names, and spellings xxx
CommentAuthorMrsC2b
why the hell should you be paying for people you don't even know? Ollie started writing down plus 1's "in case he gets a girlfriend before the wedding" and i said straight away theres no way thats happening, it's our day and we should have the people we love there and if there are any extras they can come to the evening do... thats just my opinion and i really dont think u shud feel guilty for only inviting who you want there unless u have a fab budget and cann afford a lot of plus 1's but persdonally i would rather more of my true friends came than plus 1's xxx
CommentAuthorSoon2beMrsHall
We wont be doing plus ones as most of the people coming to our wedding will have partners. If tehy dont then all or friends know everyone as we go out in big groups and all our family know each other so they will be fine. Plus get a few drinks down them and the ones that came single might not leave single LOL
Cant wait to to marry Martyn
Wishes the wedding would come faster
XxX
CommentAuthorWren
We're having a buffet aswell for the reception. As I have a small family, we've sent seperate invites to the partners but for close friends we've added +1. Cousins and other "distant" people and people who arent that serious in their relationships arent getting +1's as we dont really want to pay for people we dont know.
CommentAuthorMonicaGeller
think you need to work out whether they will know anyone other than the couple on the day. it's awkward to go to a wedding alone if you have noone else to talk to.
we've asked a couple of friends who know each other, it they would mind be each other's plus one rather than a significant other.
x
CommentAuthork
i am doing +1's, but it is really only family that are coming (all 100 of them, lol) but my few close friends are getting plus ones, i would hate to go to a wedding on my own without my fiance xxx
CommentAuthormummyto2
were only doing a few +1s only for close friends and family, not everyone is having one or i will be at my own wedding not knowing whos who
im a married women now
mrs carson-moores
i love my hubby and my kids with all my heart and soul
CommentAuthorKimi
We've not included any +1's for currently single guests. They are all understanding enough too.
Most people coming are married/families or in long-term relationships so its not a problem :)
The days are flying by, can't wait :)
CommentAuthorChrissy~MrsFaulds2b
No +1's here, the majority of ppl were inviting are in a couple and the ones that aren't know someone who is already invited. We had to draw the line somewhere as it would have just gotten ridiculous xx
CommentAuthorlinzi
we only inviting the +1's that we know too. Especially now we have cut the guest list in half for the day time! But even before when we had a bigger budget we were only letting folk take somebody if they were in a long term relationship with them (ie over a year). If not they were getting told their parter was welcome at night only! At £90 per person, no way were we gonna pay for randoms to come!
I don’t repeat gossip so listen very carefully!!
Started Slimming World - 23/03/2011 - 2 Stone to lose!
Total Loss = 1 stone 7 lbs.
As at 23/11 - 3 days before the wedding.
CommentAuthorLittle Miss Bump
i havent given single people plus 1's, if i have a few gaps then i will give single friends plus 1's as they know the least amount of people, whereas family wil know alot more people
CommentAuthorluvlifejen (mrs berr
i have done a few +1's for h2b friends with partners names i dont know. & a cpl of my single friends. no big deal i have over catered anyways xx
soon to be Mrs Berry 26.11.2011
CommentAuthorKerrylou
We're not inviting +1's to the day do, it ends up being a ridiculous amount of money for people you don't know. If you're friends with someone who's married or in a long term relationship then that's different, but to invite someone who is basically totally random doesn't make much sense to me xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorrainykins
I don't think i have the issue with +1's (yet) but am sure as the day draws nearer it may change (like my brother getting a girlyfriend - id allow that bless his socks) but we already have just over 100 people and they are all friends and h2b's work colleagues, harsh as it sounds im not inviting anyone from my work as i work nights on my own
CommentAuthorhaylsmccrone
i like your h2b's idea, i dont want laods of strangers at my wedding, especially as half of them probably wouldnt last anyway? and id rather add more people we know,
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
we are having a few plus ones but we know most everyone who is coming
Dyslexic
its spelt wrong
I No! I Now! I Know!!!!!
I am NOW MRS LONSDALE!!
