Grrrrrrrr I need to scream!!!!! We have spent ages trying to work out the guest list n struggled like mad to keep it within the numbers, we never wanted a big do in the start but it's gradually crept up in numbers. Well we just finished the final guest list and started sending out the invites n now the mil2b has asked r all the cousins n extended aunts/ uncles that my h2b hasn't had much to do with over the yrs invited, as she thinks it's a bit selfish of us if they aren't! Well they all live 3hours plus away from us and when we asked them last yr they said they wouldn't come but now they bloody want too!!!!! We already have more than we r allowed so I'm already hoping we get a few rejects in the nicest way possible. It throws everything already planned up in the air now! Has anyone else been put under this kind of pressure from the family, n what did u do?

I refuse to be put under any pressure when it comes to our guest list. I honestly do not care at all if we 'offend' someone we haven't spoken to in 15 years or who hasn't bothered to keep in contact; you wouldn't invite strangers off the street, so why invite people you don't know just because they're loosely related you?...

We're having 44 to the day, another 40 to the evening; that's it. A lot of relatives aren't being invited because we never see them, and basically we've said from day one that we only want people there that we know. As I said I couldn't care less if people I've never met get offended, and if my MIL2B gets offended then again, tough.

I don't have a large family but the oh does, our wedding was looking like a wood family reunion. We decided to only invite his close family to the day and the rest at night. That way we are not up on numbers and we are able to invite some of our friends we want there too. A wedding is not a family reunion, it's a time when the happy couple invite who they want to share their special day with. x

my problem is i always want to keep everyone happy never mind what i want, but im starting to think f this its my wedding so im gonna do what the hell i want for a change! we have said we can keep them as reserves if people cant make it but she wasnt happy about that, so shall i just delete my family who are paying for it all just to suit her... i think not!

lalabunni... rushing off to read your thread!

lala you are better off without them if they are being like that. Not read 'the' thread but I've read others.

As for the guest list yes stick to your guns. Why do you want to pay x amount to feed someone you never ever see. Of course they want to come. Everyone likes a good wedding but you should only invite people who make the effort in your everyday life and not just because they want some free food and drink.

Try along the lines of:

I'm sorry but the room only holds x amount so there is no room at the inn

or

We are not paying for people that neither of us every see. If you would like to pay for them to be there I have no problem with that but we are not feeding people we don't see/know/like

or

Get the h2b to deal with her as it is his mother and relatives.

I personally would opt for the last one but arm the h2b with reasons to explain to her as it always sounds better coming from them as it doesn't make it sound like you are controlling everything and they are telling her what they want for their own wedding.

i have to say that i have refused to be made to invite anyone taht we dont want there at the end of the day its your day. put your foot down hun and say no, if u cant have them there coz of numbers then point that out as there is nothing u can do about taht xxx

weve just had slight talks about about guest lists and its stressy already
weve said 90 max and its come to the point that h2b can pick 45 (inc himself!) and i pick 45 and that is that. but it has started especially with mums saying 'so and so has to come!!... well what about so and so's uncles wives babies unlce...' hmmmm

and barbie86 thats what i say... any extras who you realllly want there you pay haha!! xx

We invited h2b's step mum and her three kids ... she asked if two of her kids could bring their partners ... we told them they could come if they were willing to pay the xx it was costing us per head .. they're not coming. Although we have bumped up loads of people as most of my relatives have said they can't come!