I have been taking the view (quite rightly of course) that its not just my big day but OH's big day too, so I have been consulting him every step of the way in the planning process, checking that he likes my ideas etc However I am getting increasingly frustrated with his negative attitude towards it. I believe he does want to get married but its almost as if he thinks it is magically all going to fall into place with minimal effort on his part. The latest thing that is bugging me is about the ceremony readings. I suggested to him last night that we could perhaps include a reading as part of the ceremony, as it would bulk it out a bit (otherwise its just a registry 10 minute job). His first response was to pull a face at the idea, then just kind of did a shoulder shrug, whatever, so I told him a couple of the ones I had in mind and he dismissed them both. Ok thats fair enough, I don't want to include anything hes not happy with, like I say its his day too. Its just that hes done this with nearly every aspect of the planning now, favours, decor, music, attire, cake, entertainment, table names etc etc It always goes the same way, I suggest something that I like, he says he doesn't like it, I then suggest a few more things, he says he doesn't like them either, I ask him what he does like, he says hes not really that fussed and that I should just do what I want to do.... Argh... how can I then go and do what I want to do when he has just told me doesn't like any of my ideas!!! I know we have about 7 months to go yet but I just feel like time is slipping away and we are getting nowhere, despite the fact that I am spending so much time researching things. I know its normal for the groom to be disinterested in the planning but seriously, if your going to critisise someones ideas, at least come up with a few of your own!!! Sorry about that, just needed to get it off my chest, as its now dampening my enthusiasm rant over.
CommentAuthor~Beauty&TheBeast2Be~
Slap him with a wet fish then tell him your going to enter you for Don't Tell The Bride so he has to do everything. Jokes!
Take him away from everything, no games, no nothing, sit down and explain it's upsetting you. Seeing your emotions on the situation should kick his a*ss into gear and make him realise he needs to have some form of interest.
Good Luck (Y)
*..Embrace Your Dreams..*
~We're All Mad Here~
CommentAuthorRachaelC80
I, like you wanted a reading just to bulk things out a little!! However,I knew he wouldn't want anything soppy and gushing(tho,me neither) so I googled "Readings that don't make you vomit"!!! And, Bob Dylan, Wedding Song came up. We read certain verses as Bob tends to ramble!!! It was perfect as Hubby is a massive Dylan fan, the words were beautiful and we actually Married on Bob's Birthday!!!
Is there someone that he admires who has written a poem?? Or,read words from a song he likes??
;-)
CommentAuthorRoxanneV
I know the feeling, i know iv got 10 months to plan but us ladies know how much time everything take, men just think everything happens magically!! And like you im trying to involve him in everything but he has now been telling me how annoying im been going on about things, im just so excited!! well anyway Bride of Frank your not alone i think its the way men are made!! haha x
CommentAuthorBride of Frank
Thank you both
I am going to have a word with him about tomorrow maybe and try to determine whether or not he doesn't like the idea at all or is it just the type of reading that bothers him
Neither of us are Bob Dylan fans but I've found a John Lennon one so I'll run that by him. I've not given up on looking but its hard to be inspired when you feel that your ideas will be unappreciated.
That sucks Bride of Frank; I can't really relate as my h2b is mostly keen when we talk about wedding ideas hope it works out for you :)
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorRachaelC80
You could do a reading just to him, if he doesn't want to do a combined one??
There are many poems, readings and lyrics you could do??
Also, just to manipulate things slightly, ask family and friends what readings they would consider appropriate in front of him?? It may put him in a position that he'll feel he can't get out of??!! Sneaky I know but maybe worth a try??!!
grrr, men!! I would sit down with his and search for readings that he might like, say its a special "date" night and get out a bottle of wine while googling, lol xx
CommentAuthorLauraM9144
men are a strange species! although my h2b is excited and has invited half the worl and talked to anyone who will listen about the wedding he did not get particularly involved in planning , he did listen to ideas and sort of nod or shrug when it suited him and he never had strong feelings about anything except the band which i didnt want as it added £250 to our budget but he workd extra shifts to pay for them so hes got them! i have been planning,researching,phoning,making ,working and stressing about this wedding for a year but now we only have a week to go he has definitely swung into action! he made labels yesterday to stick on our wine bottles to personalise them he helped finalise the seating plan, and is going to help me with the baking/cooking next week and hes eeven arranged care for the children so we can concentrate on the last bits. im retty sure men just think ohhhh theres loads of time or she can manage! we are having a reading but its gooey lol because my daughter (11) asked if she could say something so i told her to find something appropriate and we would see and she found a funny,beautiful poem about parents getting married how could i say no! i was blubbing too much to speak! anyway what im trying to say is if you want more input tell him or just quietly plan away and he will get interested soon enough (normally at the mention of the stag!)i have rrecently spoken to my other half as to why he didnt get more involved he said "i didnt know what to do " so maybe give him some tasks i.e : sort suits, find a cake supplier things like that sometimes they just need to be told what to do! ;)
One BIG day will lead to lots of little happy days !!
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
Until we started doing a theme he was super excited about, I was informed by my Oh an his BM that wedding days are for the bride and do what I like put them in Pink if thats what I want! That its about me! Lol! Kind of sweet in a way but like you ladies I want it to be fun an enjoyable for both of us! X
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorCameoP
Agree with whats been said here.. and unless it's a football themed wedding, in our experience the bride usually runs the show while the h2b just turns up on the day! (Generally looking as surprised as the guests at the way everything has come together!)
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
the closer you get to the wedding the better he will be hopefully. men still see the wedding as being really far off at 7 months. if he really isnt that bothered then just pick what you like. just say well unless you have any ideas im going to go with this one - then he has the option to say no or shut up and put up lol. mine wasnt really doing much at that stage but hes a lot more involved now at 4/5 months to go. he even asked to help with invites!! miracles do happen lol xx
CommentAuthorBecky1608
My other half goes through phases of being really into the planning and then not too fussed. I definitely think it's a man thing!! Lucky us girls love planning/organise it so much! xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
