I'm having a bit of a disagreement with my H2B about bridesmaids. I really wanted my sister and my future sister in law ( my H2B's brothers wife) as we are really close. But my H2B has 2 younger sisters and he thinks i shouldnt choose my sister in law over his sisters to be my bridesmaids! I feel like im stuck in the middle as im not really close to his sisters but i dont want to upset anyone. My mum has told me to just have my sister as the only BM but i really dont want just one BM i want two! Not 3 or 4. I have come to the conclusion that i might need to choose another close friend who is nothing to do with my H2B's side of the family and have her and my sister and thats it. What would you do in my sistuation? xx
CommentAuthorMrs Alsbetty
you have who you feel comfortable with and you know you can trust to do any jobs you give them, can you not exlain to him you don't feel as close to them as you do the others, who has he chosen for bestman? ask him why he chose this person i bet it s for the same reason, good luck! xx
Enjoying being a wifey!!
Currently baking a small person at last, took a while :)
CommentAuthorJoolsy
I always think it's kinda fair if you are having 2 to pick one from each side which would mean picking one if his sisters. I'm having 5 bridesmaids but we have organised it all so we have an equal amount of friends and family from bothsides that way their is no arguments and then none of us can moan that one or the other has more in the bridal party.xx
Officially Mrs Julie-Anne Muir
CommentAuthormrsjones
He has chosen his brother as best man, its easy for him as he only has one brother and lots of friends but no one really close. His brother is like his best friend. I will try and talk to him about it again i think. Thanks. xx
CommentAuthormrsjones
I couldnt pick only one of his sisters as it would really offend the other one i think, they are quite different in age as well, one is 22 and one is 10!
i have my 2 best friends and h2b's oldest daughter who 8 as bridesmaids plus one of them has 2 daughters so they are flower girls 1 and 4yrs and h2b younger daughter 6 is flower girl too his son 4 is ring bearer, alot for reg office i know but hey its our day! one of friends daughters is h2b god daughter aswell
Enjoying being a wifey!!
Currently baking a small person at last, took a while :)
CommentAuthorMrs Alsbetty
is 10 too old for a flower girl?
Enjoying being a wifey!!
Currently baking a small person at last, took a while :)
CommentAuthorKerrylou
I totally understand why he wants his sisters to be BMs, it's his wedding day too and he wants to incude them. Personally I don't think that's too much to ask. I understand that YOU are not close to them, but he is. I think he'd also feel really mean saying to them something like "Well I'm sorry, you girls haven't been chosen to be BMs because the wife to be doesn't feel like she wants you to do it" (I know I'd feel d@mn dash mean!)
I'd say let them be BMs - it's no skin off your nose, it's going to make h2b happy and you'll make 2 girl's days
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorMrs Alsbetty
could you afford to have them all and have the two you wanted most have more important roles?
Enjoying being a wifey!!
Currently baking a small person at last, took a while :)
CommentAuthormrsjones
I can see your point Kerrylou, i think 10 is bit old for flower girl, she is a really big 10 as well, she almost as tall as me!!! I would happily have all 5 of them but its the cost thing as well!! It's just so expensive!
CommentAuthorJoolsy
Yeah can you not have 10yr old as a flowergirl???? It's a nightmare trying to agree on the bridal party especially when you only want a certain amount of folk. I originally wanted 2 flowergirls (My cousin and his niece) and 2 bridesmaids (my best friend and his younger sister) but ended up he said I couldn't ask one neice without the other so picked his 2 neices as flowergirls but I wanted more of my family involved so couldn't choose between my wee cousins who are 14 and 15 so ended up asking them both to be bridesmaids then when we went for dresses his oldest neice looked stupid in the dress so had to make her a bridesmaid then I was left with one flowergirl when I wanted 2 so eventually got to have my wee cousin who I had wanted originally so now I have 5 Bridesmaids and 2 Flowergirls when I only wanted 2 of each lol!! xx
Officially Mrs Julie-Anne Muir
CommentAuthorLou lou
if you can afford them have them if not just explain that moneys a bit tight, it depends also on how much ur h2b is going to sulk over it, if its a big deal to him then let them ur day is going to more perfect if ur h2b isnt sulking with u, hope this helps xx
CommentAuthorKat
If you can afford it then let them be BMs. Or at least ask them....they might not want to be!
CommentAuthorginge23
Oh what a nightmare. Im only having my sister as BM as that was my choice but we had major issues over his neice being flower girl (she is 11) and asked me infort of everyone if she could be a flowergirl and then in the next sentence asked what a flowergirl was so she had been told to ask me by someone I think. I said we had not decided as I only wanted my neice who is nearly 3 but this caused major problems and I eventually gave in and we are having her as flowergirl. The way I see it BM and flowergirls are mainly part of the brides day and duties best man and users are mens parts so leave the decing to them!!! I would never have dictated who he was to have as best man or ushers. Sorry for the rant but I know how u feel. xx
CommentAuthormrsjones
Thank you ginge, i really agree with the whole thing of me choosing my bridesmaids and him choosing his best man etc! What a nitemare it must have been to be asked in front of everyone, quite unfair. x
CommentAuthorginge23
I thought it was unfair mrssmithtobe but in the end I gave up to keep the peace! I asked why he chose his best man he said as thats whos been there for me when needed EXACTLY why you should choose. I would put ur foot down and say no I defo would not have his sis as BM xx
