Hi everyone,

I'm just looking for outside opinions on this. My H2B have been together for over 3 and a half years and became engaged within 3 months of being together.

To date I've only ever met one of his sisters and her husband because my H2B took me to meet her in the early months. I've presumed no other members of his family are interested in meeting me and H2B is upset by this although he doesn't say. The situation is that my H2B never hears from any of his family unless it's Christmas or his birthday and then he'll receive a text message. Before meeting me H2B would make all contact and effort with his family. He now says we are all the family he needs.

I'm not sure my H2B wants to invite his family just because of the wedding because he doesn't think they'll attend. I don't want to put H2B in a situation where he feels he has to make contact with his family. On the other hand I don't want to have all my family at the wedding and it look one sided.

The other alternative is to just invite a couple of my family??

I would speak to your h2b and ask to explain the situation. Have you seen his sister sinec you first met her? Does sound strange that he made the effort before you were together and doesnt know.

I dont think that you should just invite a couple of members of your family even if he isnt inviting any because it is your wedding day too. I would sit down and ask him to be honest with you about it xx

I think the thing with weddings is to invite who both of you want to be there. Don't get all tied up with stuff like worrying that there are more on your "side" than on his. Just have a "sit anywhere" thing for the ceremony so it's not obvious. Last few weddings I've been to, there hasn't been that whole - bride's side and groom's side at the ceremony for the seating.

Thanks MrsBarkertobe,
I did meet up with his sister and try to form a relationship as I thought we'd get on. It wasn't reciprocated so I let it be. I guess busy lives etc etc. My H2B was hurt when his family didn't show any interest when we met. I don't want him to invite people because he feels he has to.

Thanks Lovelylainee,
I come from a very big family with all the usual fall outs and arguments. I know who I want to be there and I know the ones I invite will attend. As you say it's our day and we're inviting them in to share it. Even with all H2B's family there my family would outnumber them a hundred times if I invited them all. lol

Thanks Faeth,
The sit anywhere idea is brilliant. All weddings I've been to have have bride / groom sides. I need to have a chat with H2B and find out how he really feels about the invite list.... or eloping :)

Hun i wouldnt let it worry you ......as you say you and H2b have made all the effort and it hasnt come bcak so i would leave it now and let them come to you ( which they will when they see how happy you are together .......i have friends that i am closer to than family . at they end of the day have peopl there who love you ( there doesnt have to be a blood tie for that)

We are having a seating plan but as mr lala has a bigger family than me we are mixing it all up and spreading family and friends all over the place

Hi Lalabunni,
It's a delicate subject for the two of us and something we need to talk about... soon. I'm quite happy for H2B to invite anyone he wants. It just irks me a little that our wedding day may be the first day I meet any of his family.... because they couldn't be bothered. I shouldn't pre-judge them, they can't be all that bad, my H2B is a star!!

we can't have bride and groom sides as he only has 1 sister coming with her 3 children, he has no grandparents alive and we don't see his mum (doesn't even know his dad) bless him and my family is mahoosive! so we are having the sit anywhere idea! xx