Hi
Is it ok to have a little rant here?
When we got engaged we both decided we didn't want a long engagement so we're sure to be married on 31 Aug this year after just over a year's engagement. My h2b racked up over £1200 in parking tickets from before we got together and he's been paying them off for the last 3 months, finally it's all sorted and then on Saturday we get notice from our letting agent that they're selling the house we live in and we've got to be out by April. Just when I thought we could put more towards the wedding we have this extra expense!
Sadly my mum died 4 years ago so I don't have her to talk to, and my dad lives in France. My sister is 300 miles away and my of 3 other bridesmaids : 2 are great but live miles away, and 1 is being really funny. Although I asked her outright if she still wanted to be a bridesmaid when I ordered her dress and she said yes, I don't think she's that interested.
I'm feeling really on my own- when I tell my h2b he says it'll be ok, or makes me feel bad coz I should be happy that we have each other. Don't get me wrong- I am! I love him! But I can't help being really worried about how we're gonna pay for things.
Plus more there's the stress of finding somewhere else to live :-(
How do you guys feel about having girls go on your h2b stag do? Mine is inviting 3 girls on his even though I'm not happy about it. He says they're his good friends - I dislike & haven't met another of them at all. An I just being weird?!
Sometimes I just don't feel excited about planning things ......
ANYHOO -that's my rant....... thanks for listening!
X

Ok his fines!- he needs a slap if my H2B got 1 ticket I'd be going mental!!!
I think that's more because my grandad was killed by a idiot driver though

Your house- get onto your local council!

Your bms-- I think we've all had problems with bms mine are a nightmare one especially who even tries dictating wage I do

Girls on a stag do? Erm no it's a stag do not a hag do
If my oh invited girls to his stag do his stuff would be packed
He wouldn't want me to invite men!

Cheer up sit done with your OH and have a proper talk and get him to answer properly
Xx

firstly good on your hubby for getting those fines paid off

secondly as Mrs Lee say get on to all estate agents as most of them now have letting sides too ... look in the paper ...as everyone you can think off.

Hmm now we come to the stag do ... now i went on a hen do where a bloke was invited , no one could work out why he had been invited and to be honest he sort of put a bit of a dampener on the weekend.
I think you need to talk to your hubby ... whether these girls are friends or not i dont think he has thought about how you feel in this .. what are they doing for the stag do ?

Hi Lisa

Can you not nip out on your lunch to view? That is what I did as like you say alot of estate agents seem to be Mon to Friday nowadays. If I saw a property I liked, i would tell the estate agent I needed to have a second look with my partner but we were very keen and they always managed to fit us in because we made it sound like a possible let. Just try your luck and most will if they think you are keen fit around you. Xxx

ah hun that sucks, thats the thing I hate about being in private rented house, that they can turn around and sell the house we live in giving us a short time to find another house, which there are very little available in the town we live in available for rent.

As for the Stag I would say hell no. Talk to his groomsmen, and see if they will talk to him about it, say stags are not for girls unless there strippers, lol.

Lol Victoria! I'd try that if I had make friends is want to invite! One of the girls he wants to invite is getting married in July, I've asked if he's going to her hen party- obviously not he says...so why is she invited to your stag. I think the issue is he's thinking of it as a night out rather than a `stag do` . I think I'm just gonna have to admit and accept it as he won't budge. X

So one of the girls is getting married? I'm not being funny but if I told my h2b I was going on a male friends stag do he would call our wedding off he would say over my dead body you are lol men are men and stag do they do man thing (mostly boy things) why would a girl even want to be there! First thing that enters my mind about these girls is a word beginning with T and ends in arts.
Let your H2b on this thread to see what it looks like from a female point of veiw we will all let loose on him lol xxx

Personally, I don't think it's a trust issue. I just think it's a bit weird and the guys I know wouldn't want women who weren't strippers on a stag do either

That's shocking Victoria

I wouldn't go as far as saying you can't be close friends with the opposite sex, but I do think it's weird when close friends haven't met your partner. I have a number of close guy friends... I wouldn't dream of taking them on my hen do though as that's a girly thing.... oh but they will be going on my fiancé's stag, as since they are close with me they have also become close with him over the years same as me with their partners (the one's who have partners anyway-one of which is gay, one who isn't) and my close female friend... I've become close to her husband and so has my fiancé.

I just think if they were that close friends to your partner you would have met and got to know and love them too personally and in that case they would prefer to go on the hen..... even if they're not girly girls

I know one of my fiancé's friends girlfriends said about coming on the stag instead of the hen as it would be more her thing (despite the fact that we haven't made any plans for either yet) and when he was talking to me about it he was really annoyed about her ''hijacking'' his stag... stags and hens are gender specific, if you don't want them to be then you should do what some of my other friends did and have one big thing together.... a sten I suppose :p

That way you could both invite whatever women and whatever men you wanted and there wouldn't be the same expectations as what people would have. I know most men would think it was odd if they were invited on a stag and then there were women there, I don't think they would act the same as what they would if the women weren't there

Against popular opinion, I agree with MrsThomson2B regarding the whole stag do thing. If there was not some insecurity at play, why would you care who he invites? I'm not having a labelled 'hen' night, as the majority of my close friends are guys, so I am going to be going on a big night out with all of them in place of having a traditional hen night and my OH couldn't care less because he knows these guys have been my friends long before we met and are just that - friends. Even if any of them did feel more for me than I do for them, nothing would happen because a) they're not d**ks and b) I would never even consider letting anything else happen. There's a reason why they are just friends, and my OH is the person I am marrying. Likewise, my OH can invite whoever he bloody well likes to his stag night because it's his night, his chance to let his hair down and have a good night and I trust him. The only rule we are placing down is that no strippers are allowed, as neither of us think it is appropriate to be with somebody, yet staring at some half naked person writhing around and stripping off! I find it strange that 'traditionally' that is acceptable, yet invited mixed sex FRIENDS to the night out is not acceptable...
Anyway... In terms of the housing situation, could you speak to your estate agents and see what your options are, perhaps ask if they can shortlist some properties they have that are similar to what you are currently in to view at the weekends or whenever you are free? See if they have any way to help ease some of the pressure, as April is quite short notice to expect you to just find somewhere and pack up. If they cannot offer any help or advice, maybe contact citizens advice to see if everything is above board, or if they are meant to give you any more time as, like I said, it doesn't really give you much time to sort everything out.
Have you tried speaking to your bridesmaid that is being a bit funny, and asking her outright if there is something wrong? From reading your post (I could be wrong) I assume that she is the only local bridesmaid you have? If so speak to her to try and clear the air, or if that doesn't work just confide in her about what is going on and explain that you really need her to be there for you right now, because you're a little overwhelmed. I think weddings can be a time of mixed emotions for bridesmaids, so she may mean well but just be struggling a little herself at the moment!

It does sound difficult. I agree that if you were new to the area your OH probably should have made the effort to introduce you to his friends, as obviously both are an important part of his life, and would have helped you to settle in as well - as you said, you don't really know anybody from outside work there. Is there any way you could get to know them between now and then? Like arranging a few nights out here and there, as sometimes people do rub each other up the wrong way the first time they meet. I hated my OH's best friend when we first met but I kind of had to get to know him as they were living together! I wouldn't say I am his greatest fan now, but I can definitely get along with him at least! Same as how my OH and my brother really didn't get along (I am very close to my brother so I found that very difficult) but the more events I made both of them go to they eventually began to get along. Last time a group of us went out it was them two that spent the most time talking to each other!
Other than that, you both just need to talk to each other. Really think about why you are so upset, why it is so important to your OH that he won't back down even though he knows how upset you are over it, and whether there is anything your OH can do to compromise that might make you feel a little better? Does your OH realise just how upset you really are, or does he think you are just complaining for the sake of complaining? If so, make it really clear that this is actually a big deal to you - but be prepared to know how to justify it, as he will probably want reasons why!
I hope everything comes together and works out for you! I know it is not the same, but you can always lean on the girls here for some support when you feel you need it. I wonder if there are any groups here that are local to you? Maybe (if you have time!) you can arrange a meet and get to know people that way, who are going through similar stuff at the moment that you can meet and blow off some steam!

One of our mutual friend was saying to oh that she will come o his stag and he was just like "No its a stag as in men only" she keep begging sn saying shes one ofvthe guys etc, but hes flat out refused! (Thats my boy)

Thanks guys xxx
So finally he's admitted he can see things from my point of view but his BM has invited them all now so I can't stop them going. Least there's not gonna be a stripper as the girls won't like that! Haha....plus his BM is gay so hopefully it'll be more fancy than sleazy ..... :-)