My partner and I are getting married this July. Being a gay wedding we are only permitted to have 41 quests at the service which isnt a problem as we intend to invite close family and friends. The problem is most of the people that are coming to the service have people they would want to bring but as stated due to numbers we cant let them, however they can bring whoever and however many they like to the reception How do I word this on the invites without sending a service invite stating two people and a reception invite stating how many coming to the same person? I hope you can understand what I am trying to say and can help with this x
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Include a note in with the invitation saying that due to space limitations that guests are welcome to bring someone to the reception but you can not accomodate them at the service?
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorMrs Daltry
hi and welcome to uk bride,many congratulations,im a bit lost on how to reply only thing i can think of is sending out 2 invites,one for ceremony with the persons name on it and then a seperate one with both names,if questions arise im sure people will understand
CommentAuthorHoxxyhula
Hi. Can I just ask - your post makes it sound like you can only have 41 guests because it is a gay wedding. Is this really the case - ie if it was a straight wedding at the same venue would you be allowed more?
If so, and I have not got the wrong end of the stick, that is outrageously unfair!
CommentAuthorCeCe
Is there a pub nearby where partners ould be 'held' whilst the nuptulas are carrried out then you all merge into one again after..?
A question WHY are you only allowed 41 guests because you happen to be gay..?
Anyways in regards to inviting, it's you & your partner's big day so you should only invite those you would really want there to partake in the day, the evening is a little more relaxed (as you will have more guests) & if you explain about the restrictions I'm sure they will understand.
It's your wedding so put your foot down with unruly people, I know I've told a couple of my reletives they can not come, not because of restrictions but because of bad feelings in the family & they already runied one family wedding so they are not getting the chnace to ruin mine.
Good luck & hopefully we can help out with all sorts of things as well for you..Congrats & Welcome!
CommentAuthorcavo68
Thank you all for your post's. Yes we are restricted to the amount because we are gay, I dont know why this is but as we have waited long enough to be able to have a service we cant moan. I am sure there is going to be other problems as the time gets near but in the mean time thank ou and I will enjoy reading other peoples post's and who knows I may be able to help. x Steve
CommentAuthorMrs Daltry
hun i was watching four weddings the other day and it was a lesbian wedding they had about 60 people at their wedding!!!!,,have you asked about at other locations at all
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
That is bloo dy unfair. Welcome to the forum, and I hope we are able to help you too.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorPossum
That is so stupid, having a restriction! I would say just what the others have. Say you are welcome to bring someone to the reception but due to (you could even say legal restrictions if you want) space limitation, you can't accommodate others at the ceremony xxx
CommentAuthorCeCe
Steve - you getting wed in a Reg office...? Sure the restrictions is not to do with venue size..? It conerns me greatly re the 'Gay folk can only have 41 people at their wedding' B*llox.
I would be ringing up to find out WTH that's all about?!
CommentAuthorhay
hi congrats and welcome. i think that is so unfair that your only that amount of people because you are gay i have a uncle who's gay and if he decided to marry his partner and was only aloud that amount of people at the wedding there would be a big problem because he has 9 brothers and sisters my dad being one of those lol xx
CommentAuthorHoxxyhula
I don't want to rock your wedding planning boat on this but I would be telling that venue to fuck off! How dare they? The few gay weddings I have been to have been big and bursting at the seams with people!
But, it should be ok to say in the invite x invited to the ceremony and because of number restrictions partners are welcome in the evening..
CommentAuthorGoff
Congratulations on your forthcoming celebrations!
I too think that is VERY unfair to restrict you because you are gay! In fact its downright discraceful and discriminatory.
I know you say you have waited long enough to have a service, but that seems so bloody unfair!
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorMrs fairytale
congrats and welcome, i have to agree with the girls, so what u are having a gay wedding. doesnt mean u know less people or u shouldnt beable to have who u want there, i think that is completely disgusting xx
cant wait to renew my vows, love my hubby sssssooooo much xx
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
My friend is having a gay service at the end of the year and i think he said he was restricted on numbers too, it seems so unfair that they let you have something with one hand but take something else away with the other. A wedding is a wedding no matter if its gay or straight and theres ppl that would love to celebrate it with the happy couple but cant because of rules. tut
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CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
I have no advice to offer on the wording, but I want to add that it seems utterly ludicrous to restrict gay weddings on numbers! On what legal basis can venues do this?! I'd be chucking my toys out the pram in no uncertain terms and consulting a solicitor.
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
I can only repeat what Tiggs said, I just put an insert in with info about local hotels, gift list, kids and guests and said due to limited space only the person on the invite is invited, however you are welvome to bring a guest as the evening reception starting at 7:30pm Its really stupid you are restricted!! There cannot be any justification for that!!
oh and hi and congrats by the way, welcome to the site xx
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorHoxxyhula
In fact, I am pretty certain that it would be viewed as illegal based on the relatively recent Discrimination Act that I now can't remember the name of. I totally understand that you don't want your big day to be a fight, but if you did want more people there will be many venues who would not have this rule, or you could challenge this venue on what basis they make this restriction.
CommentAuthormrsr2b
Congratulations, hello and welcome!! :D firstly im absolutly shocked that u are limited to guests becoz u are gay thats a disgrace!!!!!! and secondly im sure people will understand, if u word invites with a small and plite explanation... xx
CommentAuthorlemondrops
CommentAuthorsabs
Congrats and welcome to the site. I think that it so unfair the way you and your fiance are being treated. Would this not be classed as discrimination. x x x
CommentAuthorxxsophieMxx
thats awful that you are restricted just because you're gay, how can a venue justify this? its shocking. if a change in the law can now allow you to marry, why put restrictions on it and take the fun out of your big day. i hope you can get something sorted without making them kind of cut backs. congrats to you both anyway, and hope you will enjoy chatting to all the brides 2 be! xx
CommentAuthorcavo68
I think after reading all your replies I am going to look into this a little more and if I dont like the answers I get then I might just invite how ever many I want anyway and sod them ( excuse my french ). everything else is right on track we just got our pridesmaids dress the other day they look so cute in them we are having 3 maids ages 2 months 5 years and 7 years all our grandaughters. Next week I am starting to make my organza bows to go on the front of the buffet tables so its all very exciting. On a funnier note my partner says I am turning into one of those Bridzillas lol.
CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
Cavo - happens to all of us sooner or later... :D
CommentAuthornewmrshartley
i get called that all the time! hun yay you! and yeah, sod them! seriously i think you can see on here you have support of many bridezillas and i am sure i am not the only one thinking how unfair that is and against discrimination laws, and i am sure Goff (who seems to pull legal info out of her hat all the time) could reel some off! start a petition! complain and stamp your foot! i bet we could find you a 100 brides who'd sign it and all their guest etc - having your big day hamper becuase of some bureacratic bulldust is just evil! ha ha ha ha message me - i am good with the writing of petitions! :) but yeah, your guests will understand - a note in the invites, handwritten maybe, for the personal touch. and yeah, the idea about having a holding area is a good one :) i need a timeout room at my wedding to deal with my family! good luck and welcome!
CommentAuthorClaire Sky
That's bad, i am pretty sure they can't do that either! i went to a civil ceremony not long ago and there were lots of people, it goes on how many the room can hold for health and safety, not less space for being gay!!
On a happier note xx welcome and hi xxx :-)
CommentAuthorMagsy
edited
i know the registry offices we looked at hold different amounts- between 30 and 50, size of room rather than type of wedding/partnership! we're having ours at west bridgford registry office in nottingham which holds 50 adults, as opposed to our local one basford which only holds 31!! maybe that's the reason, cavo68, rather than it being a gay wedding :)
CommentAuthorP3nelope
I was going to say are you sure they said the numbers were due to civil partnership and not civil ceremony? SOme venues are only licened to do civil ceremonys for a certain number of people and as Claire says it goes down to roomsize and health and safety.
CommentAuthorMagsy
just looked at your profile, cavo68, see you're in nottingham, whereabouts?? hope my previous post helped a little :)
CommentAuthorSuzi
I just want to say that I am shocked your only allowed 41 guest due to this being a same sex civil ceremony! What a load of **** ok rant over lol..!!!!
Do not disturb... Already disturbed enough!
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
yeah, i would hope its just because of the space and nothing to do with it being a gay wedding. I mean seriously, why should it matter who is getting married? The point is you are getting married and it should be a happy occassion with everything you want xxx
Hun - if you are becoming a bridezilla then you are sooo in the right place. I;ve had tears and tanrums all week! but just ask any questions, the people here have loads of good ideas xx
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorMrscutts2be
Cavo can I plz ask where u r gettin married? and I also think tht bein restricted cos it is a gay wedding is absolutely ridiculous. Congratulations on ur forthcoming wedding x
CommentAuthorHappy2bme
Hey Cavo, nice to meet you!!! Outrage doesnt BEGIN to cover it!! Im from Blackpool and used to know a lot of lovely gay couples from Flamingo's ;) I think perhaps you should look into having your ceremony elsewhere and having a registrar to officiate there and that way you can book your room to accommodate ALL your loved ones!!
B loo dy Beurocrats!!!1 GGGRRRRRRRR
CommentAuthorHappy2bme
And congratulations by the way! lol xx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
hey stephen ...... welcome to the mad house , ok im talking about mine lol lol
Hey babe, Firstly congratulations! ;o) and secondly, people who know and love you will totally understand the situation in hand so i agree with Dove, just a cover note to go with invitations stating the guest limit and i'm sure it wont be a problem! So 144 days, ooh not long! U nervous?? <3
CommentAuthorkittykat1986
hey hun welcome to the nut house hehe and congrats on getting engaged x
CommentAuthoralibum
Hello and congratulations :0) i hope you manage to sort things out with your venue,all this discrimination makes me mad!!!
CommentAuthorGoff
edited
Maybe we should all go to your venue en masse - im sure that if confronted by a load of us with our Bridezilla heads on they will soon change their minds! lol
On a serious note - i hope you do get it sorted, please do let us know x x
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorKaz133
Welcome to UKBride! Im going to my nephews gay wedding in july.Thats not fair having restrictions.They have kept the service part low key only inviting immediate family and best friends.They are having a big bash a week later that everyone can go to.x
CommentAuthorangela
hey, sorry to resurrect this topic. Just wanted to check, before i start looking for a venue, is it common for places to allow smaller numbers for civil parnerships than they do for civil marriages? Is it something my partner and I need to be on the look out for?
CommentAuthorMrs Q - Weegie
hey hunni, 2bh i think it depends o the size of you venue and as far as im aware its for both civil weddings and parterships, the hotel im getting married in allows 60 in the room we choose, and there is anothere room that holds 40, its the registrars that set the number limits im sure x hope this helps a little x
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CommentAuthorclareabella
good luck
ooooo muchly love my mr c fletcher
CommentAuthorsouthern
Hi Angela, congratulations! Our venue can seat 72 for the ceremony/breakfast and up to 150 for the evening reception
CommentAuthorRachie :D
Hi Angela - when I worked as a Wedding Coordinator we never ever did that - a Wedding was a wedding regardless of gender. I did a bride wedding for 20, another for 60 and a Groom for 150. We didn't limit it at all. They were to be honest the best Wedding's I probably ever did. Good luck with yours hun xxxx
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthor*Vixie*
how unfair that your restricted. doesnt that count as discrimination?! xx
CommentAuthorGriff
That's not unfair. It is ILLEGAL!!! My fiancee's uncle is in gay marriage and when the got married they had no such restrictions! I would definately challenge this! I dont care how long it's taken rip their throats out!! Either that or take me along I'll do it for you! GRRRRRR!!!!
CommentAuthorsouthern
MrsHobbit and Griff - cavo68 the OP got married 4 months ago, Angela has just resurrected for info :)
CommentAuthorGriff
ooops lol can i still go bite the original person? :) xx
