Wedding Forum - Gay marriage in Church...

I guess this subject has hit a nerve with me. Religion has played a huge part in my life. My father is Irish Catholic my Mother is Protestant. Their engagement was opposed for years by my fathers parents. In the end they felt betrayed by the people they loved and they married in secret in a registry office, had no celebration and were made to feel they had done something wicked. I and my 3 elder brothers were all christened but in the eyes of my Grandparents we were not really christened as it had not been done in the Catholic Church.
Also my father went to school controlled by nuns, he like all pupils there were subjected to regular beatings in the name of faith and religion. I believe in God and I believe in personal faith, but I don't think all that practice it or all that attend Church have a devine right to say who should or should not be accepted. xxx

I repect your views all the more as you are Atheist and are not led by ideals.
My point is where does faith/belief start or end? Does it start the moment you enter a Church and end the moment you leave? Any Christian will say NO its with you all the time. So why do you need to attend a Church to practice your faith? Can it not be done just as solemnly in the privacy of ones own home or ones own thoughts? Surely the first Christians and followers of God did not have Churches to attend. Did that make them any less believers?? If people want to marry in a Church as it is the building thats holds their chosen faith regardless of whether they are Church goers or not they should have every right to do so. xx

I pray, I look to God when awful things are happening and I need guidance. I thank God when amazing things happen, I thanked God when the love of my life asked me to marry him. I cursed God when my best friend was taken! I believe in alot of the same things any other christian believe in, I also disagree with alot. I don't attend church for my own reasons and I entitled to them, I'm nervous about having to attend because of the reasons you have pointed out, I don't want to be an outcast because I don't attend church but want to marry in the church. My h2b is a christian, his family are well known in the village for the work they have down in the church, his grandma is 98 and still makes costumes for the church plays and all her hard work she donates and doesn't take a penny from them. I have donated money to the church for my flowers, alot more than what a florist would charge me. So please don't call me a hypocrite, that is your views and opinion but I think its rude and unfair. I have every right to marry where I want to marry and I want to marry IN THE EYES OF GOD! Not for "nice photographs"

If I lived in the same village my h2b's family live in there would be no problem with me getting married in there church, I wouldn't even have to attend!

My h2b mother had a civil partnership, her church never allowed her to marry there but they accept that she is gay. Now that I feel is hypocritical

Belief is relative...what one person sees as belief, another may see as half-hearted faith. I think to ask 'What do you see yourself as? would be a far easier way. If you see yourself as Christian, then you should be allowed to marry in the building that houses the Christian faith. Regardless of the last time you entered it.
I remember one of my teachers telling us that faith is always with you, when or whether you turn to it is up to you. The Church is always there to receive you, whether for a lifetime or for a day.

Getting back to the topic of gay marriage, whole heartedly yes, if they are Christian then they should be accepted.

I look forward to the 16th Feb, its our anniversary of when we met (4 years this year) Steve loves celebrating 2 days after Valentines as he can then get red roses at discounted prices!!!! Cheap skate lol xxx

Mrs Walker I know how you feel. Some strong views can be pretty upsetting. We are both marrying in Church, but don't feel the need to prove our belief. Your day will be stunning and done your way. xxx

And thank you Dee, that means alot. Your day will be amazing too :-) x x x

Yes, I was being optimistic there... H2B got me roses today and there is a present wrapped for me on the table. We'll open the presents over breakfast before I go to work. I hope he likes what I got him...

Enjoy! X

I wrote this on another thread earlier...

I bought H2B's card yesterday. In the shop, the 'fiancé' choice was awful. But I succumbed and picked up the best of a bad bunch. I then walked passed the 'boyfriend' card and found the most perfect card so thought "what the heck, get both". So I did. I gave them to the woman on the till who was happily scanning them through until she saw 'fiancé' and 'boyfriend' and then outloud said "oh" whilst looking at me. I laughed internally and said "they're for the same person - I just preferred the boyfriend one, but he's my fiancé and will want a 'fiancé' one."

Not sure she was convinced lol!

Make one. Or send an e-card.

Or write lots of little notes and leave them for him to find. More fun than a card.

Loving this thread btw, it's refreshing to read some decent debate with real opinions, I like talking about flowers and candy buffets as much as the next girl, but it's good to add a different dimension to the wedding mayhem that has taken over my life.

On gay marriage, I'm all for it, love is love whether it's between a man and woman, 2 men, 2 women whoever, I do however agree that the church should welcome it NOT be forced. It's unfair to tar all clergy with the same brush, there are open minded people in the church too.

On non church goers marrying in church, I'm with Stevie, I'm not a regular church goer, my h2b is catholic, raised attending church every Sunday, but as an adult has stepped away from catholosism but not Christianity. in adult life we have made friends from all walks of life explored, debated, enjoyed many other religions. Our friends are a melting pot of Christians, atheists, agnostics,Muslims,Hindus and a few Jews for good measure, they're all attending our wedding in our c of e church. We are marrying in church because we have faith, we personally would not feel married if it was not before god. However, and this is not aimed at anyone so pleased don't be offended, I do think it wrong for people to marry in church just because it pretty, and have no faith, no one says oh I'm going to get married in the local mosque because it has a good garden for photos, Christianity gets a bad rap, churches are a place of religious significance to people and that should be respected.

I don't always make my point well so sorry if I make no sense, happy debating ladies, long may it continue, over and out xxx

Neither of us do valentines but that is because we are like that with each other the rest of the year so don't feel the need to do it because that is what everyone else is doing.

Hi Rosey I believe the marrying in Church as it will "look pretty in pictures", isnt a valid reason. Thats v superficial and Im glad so far I haven't come across anyone, on here at least that wants a Church wedding for that reason.
Some brides to be may feel that a Church wedding is not an option as they are not Church goers and feel outsiders. I think thats quite sad, as when you look deeper into most peoples lives they have belief, and an involvement of one kind or another with their faith, xxx
Another point my son's homework from his St Johns Cadets a few weeks back.... Asks to discuss Rural villages of South Africa where there are no accessible Churches, if they can still be practicing Christians? xxx

'Going to a church makes you no more a Christian than lying in a garage makes you a car'

It doesn't automatically make you a better person because you practise your faith in any particular building!

'treat others as you would like to be treated' -

sorry I took a bit out there cos it sounded a bit cheeky and that wasn't the intention,
I just mean if you are a good person why should you be judged!!

I also do agree that the government shouldn't really have the right to dictate to a religion as this kind of undermines the point of religion in the first place, but in the interest of moving with the times, human rights must come first!

my question is if the church does not agree with homosexuals why would homosexuals want to get married in a church?

I think the whole world needs to be more tolerant of everyone. and as fhp2b said the government cant force churches to have gay marriages, but then i wouldnt want to get married somewhere that didnt agree with my beliefs.

Homesexuality doent bother me in the slightest - who really cares if you love a man or a woman, seriously what difference does it make!!?!? why is it a problem!? as long as you are happy! and thats honestly what I believe.

I am not religious in the slightest and disagree with a lot of religious teachings. but thats me. Like homosexuality, religion doesnt bother me, if you are religious then you are religious who cares, as long as you NEVER force it on anyone else and you do not discriminate others for not being like you!!! that is how wars start! sorry Ive gone off subject a bit!!

lol, I honestly doubt many homosexual couples would want to be married in the church after they've been forced to let them, it's like going to a party someone made the host invite you to, would you go? never!

the thing with the church moving with the times, it really is gonna have to if it's gonna be taken seriously tho, honestly. I'm not sitting here and criticising anyone's beliefs but people need to realise that the bible is not a book to literally live your life by! I mean I know it's a bit of an extreme comparison but before people knew better they thought that people with epilepsy or mental ilness were possessed by demons! now we know more about the world our views have to change and this goes for religion too, in my opinion only of course! sorry off subject a tad x

You should be accepted FHP, like I said earlier, don't the catholic church teach 'love thy neighbour' etc etc 'treat others as you would yourself', yes when it suits them! I'm a catholic by the way, but I don't agree with every bit of it's teachings, I'd be lying if I said I did. I believe really all that should be required is that you should try to be a good person, sexuality has nothing to do with that and is your choice!

No I think you're right, you can't make them believe something, that undermines the whole freedom of religion thing!
but I don't think it makes it right either x

I just don't understand people's problem with it! but then you could say that about a lot of things I suppose. I'm all for live and let live.

well said!

In saying that, the government will always have the final say in this country with regards to the law etc, so I think it should be made legal (the church will never have any say in that) but the church could choose it's stance. That way the option is there, should they wish to take it up, as I think it's not legal just now am I right? x