I am sooo annoyed right now, as is my H2B. His parents have 3 friends who they are close to. These friends have been around for the whole of his life and are invited to family functions etc. When we spoke to his parents about guest list, back before xmas, they said to invite these friends to the evening do only, so that's what we planned. Since then his parents have said several times that they are worried about being "outnumbered" at our wedding, as they were at his brother's wedding 2 years ago. His brother had a huge wedding with all the bells and whistles and his wife has a large family. Our wedding is on a much smaller scale and family wise I have 3 more people than him. Our wedding is now less than 10 weeks away and 2 weeks ago his dad rang him and asked about their friends being invited. He told them that they were being invited to the evening and that our evening invitations would be going out soon. He went for a drink with his dad last week and his dad basically asked that if we had anyone decline for the day could they be invited? He said yes, if we had any spaces. Over the last couple of days we have had the last few responses back and everyone has said yes, so there is no more room. His dad rang him yesterday morning and asked if we had had all or replies, so he told him yes and they are all coming. So his dad said that he wouldn't bother giving their friends the evening invitations and hung up! I spoke to my mum about it and she said we should do what we need to keep the peace, so I rang his mum and told her I would speak to the reg office tomorrow morning to check if we can have 3 more people, but she didn't seem very impressed that they hadn't been invited to start with. H2B is now extremely pee'd off as it was his parents who said evening only to start with, and they have left it so late to say anything. Also we did our table plan yesterday and I've been trying since then to get hold of my MOH as I think she wants to bring her boyfriend, but we don't really have room, he doesn't really know anyone else and she will be busy all morning and on the top table all afternoon (wedding is at 2) so I really only want her to invite him to the evening.... and she isn't getting back to me!!! Grrrrr..... Weddings would be much simpler without other people!

Oh dear. Get h2b to explain to his parents that the day list was sorted ages ago and you just can't decide to invite three more people just because they've decided they ought to be there.
You have tried your best to be accommodating, I am sure they will realise that.
I wonder if maybe one of the friends has assumed they will be coming to the daydo and your future in laws are worried about having egg on their faces?
Families - what can you do? Xx

they cant jut expect you to try to rejig it, I think they are being very unreasonable, you were clearly willing to accomadate them, and went with what they asked, yet that isnt good enough? Im inclined to agree with what LauraJo has said, maybe assumptions were made and they are now trying to save face - not your problem though!

Im amazed that they can't see that you are trying and are still throwing it back at you as though you have done something wrong!

If the registry office says no, then there's nothing more they can expect you to do, let them have their strop, they'll get over it! I'm sure they are aware of your H2Bs anxiety as well what with being his parents, which makes it all the more unbeleivable that they would throw this added stress at you which is so unecessary, I have anxiety issues so I can totally sympathise with that, I crumble under any kind of pressure.

Right in the beginning i said to both sets of parentals make a list up and mark day evening and a standby list as we both come from large families it will make it easier when doing the invites. If they said evening only then you should remind them who wedding it is and that the venue and ro cant take anymore on (for the meal!) Or if its a case of cost tell them if they want them there cough up, it normally works lol x

I have the ongoing saga of my Parents wanting to invite my Sister's in laws. I don't really know these people and I've never heard so much as a congratulations from them since my engagement so I don't see why I should have to. My Parents say they are "family" but if they were then why did they not get invited to my Sister's 40th birthday party last year? Strange that they get to come to my big day but not their own daughter in laws big birthday. Anywhoo, I think the problem is that my Sister told them they would be getting invited and now she's trying to save face by getting my parents to push the issue. We had a big row about it a few weeks ago because I'm a stubborn little madam and the more they push the more I dig my heels in. It got to the stage last week where I was looking for jewellery for my bouquet and my Sister said she'd ask her Mother-in-law if she had any spare and I told her not to bother as it would be a way to guilt me into inviting them. Probably shot myself in the foot but it's making me so mad.

I think you've been a lot more accomodating that me, you can always check with the Registrar as I'm sure 3 more won't hurt. For me it would be the priniciple of the fact that they instructed you from the begining to invite them to evening only and now at this late stage they have tried to squeeze them in.

I think it's all sorted now. Reg office have said yes, and MOH has agreed to her boyfriend coming just to the evening. hopefully no more stress in the next 10 weeks!!

Aw phew thats a relief!

xx

Aaaaargh why do people feel the need to tinker with their invitations!

No kids means no kids, period.

And evening invitation means you go to the evening part, not the day do as well.

Also, RSVP means, respond please! Brides do not want to take a guess as to whether you shall deign to intend, much less spend considerable money on food that you *might* turn up to eat. Nor do they want to spend the weeks running up to the wedding trying to get in touch with you for the aforementioned response.

Grrr.

weddings are very frustrating things and you will always upset some one with this issue of who gets invites or not , i totally agree with you though , good luck with every thing xx