H2b's brother is a bit of a bad lad, in trouble with the police quite a lot in the past though not recently and is a recovering alcoholic. Think he's been off the drink for a couple of months now. He has this on/off girlfriend and they have 3 kids. He's a brilliant dad and has always been polite to me but I really don't like the girlfriend. During on of their off stints she moved out and got her own house about the same time we were getting new furniture so she asked if she could have it. We were gonna sell it anyway so said she could have it for just £100, she asked if she could pay it in instalments as she doesn't have much spare cash so obviously we said yes. So 10 months later she still owed us £25 and when I asked her she replied 'take it up with Christopher, it's not like you need the money is it'! Cheeky cow!
She's often a trigger for h2b's brother's drinking but then she gets annoyed at him and they have huge rows which often end up with the police being called and has even resulted in an injunction to stop him going round her house.
I think at the moment they're together again but this could end any minute and they're not living together, he's been at his parents for around 3 months.
The issue I have is that I really don't want her at the wedding for fear of it kicking off between them. H2b is with me on it but how to we bring this up with his brother?? I just know if she's there I'm just gonna be on edge all day
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Have you sent invites yet?
Could you wait a bit and hope that they have an off stint before the wedding and bring it up then?
Sorry it is an awkward situation and I don't know how I would bring it up either :/ but I can completely understand why you don't want her there.
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
I can understand why you don't want her there but not sure the best way to get around it :( Hope you sort it out Sonya :S
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Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
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CommentAuthorCatherineR
I'd say, only close family and venue has limited numbers and as you can't stand her she's not welcome anyway.... Or is that not diplomatic?! ;)
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
Lol Catherine your getting as bad as La La, lols
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
Haha, woops ok..... Let me rephrase that..... 'Due to venue limitations, we are unfortunately unable to extend the invitation to partners and can only have close family'..... Better?!
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorSonya
Lol!! Would LOVE to do it that way!
Well I did tell h2b's mum that I wasn't inviting her to the hen do cos I don't like her!!
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorBecky1608
Good post Catherine!! Xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorStephanieK77
I had a similar problem with a friend and her on off boyfriend. He takes drugs and is a general waste of space. I invited her only to the day and him to join in the evening "due to number restrictions" i felt that was a good compromise. Only despite being my friend for 20 years she pretty much told me she wont come without him. Worth a try though!
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Tell the truth. Just be like because of your arguments between you and how bad it gets just say i'm not inviting you to the wedding or reception. Its a day where you shouldn't feel on edge.. xx
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CommentAuthorLauraF89
If it's going to put you on edge having her there then i wouldn't invite her, why risk it and be worried on your big day? xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
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CommentAuthorFranM76
Hhhm, I would probably tell the truth as well. Or maybe try talking to the future BIL? What does he think? xx
CommentAuthorCharlieBe-Cool
I have a similar issue, but unfortunately mine is with my sister! Her and her partner drink excessively and, more often than not, she causes arguments when she's had a few - sometimes she gets quite physical. I'm dreading her being there and having access to free booze. But I cant not invite her. I could potentially not invite her partner to try and avoid any confrontation, but they are getting married in April so will not go down well if I tried that.
I think you have two options; (1) be honest and say you dont want her there as you dont get on or (2) be diplomatic and say number restrictions wont allow. If you have not sent the invites yet, maybe even address is to him individually and add a little note along the lines of "Due to venue restrictions numbers are limited therefore only those named on this invite can attend" or something similar.
Met my prince charming - May 2002
Finally tying the knot - July 2015
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CommentAuthorAmyH608
I personally would just say s0d it and tell them straight lol!!! Or maybe be more polite about it and Just explain to H2B's brother that he is an important part to the day being the grooms brother and you wouldnt want to risk upset to him or any of you by having her there.
At the end of the day people should respect that its your day and you want it to be memorable for the right reasons :) let us know how you get on xx
CommentAuthorVelcro
has he had his invitation yet? id just be blunt and say im sorry, but shes not invited.
i wouldnt bother with the excuses, id just tell him honestly that their relationship is rock at best and you would rather that space go to someone you KNOW will come and dont want to risk it kicking off between them on the day if she does come. its not like they dont have form, and if he doesnt understand that, well, hes a bit of an idiot.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorLauraK7
edited
Are the children his? Are they coming or is it no children?
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
UM Lana what do mean saying to Catherine " your getting as bad as La La" tut ut ...... noone can get as bad as me
as to the issue in hand .. i would firstly leave the invitation as late as possible as it may be taken out of your hands and way if not be completely honest ( i`ll do it for you ) and tell the BIL that you are not having a lush like her at your wedding as quite frankly it will bring the whole tone of your wedding down and if you wanted to do that intentionally you would have invited .........ME
I'm an angel..... HONEST!!!!!! What's all this nonsense about me being a bit*h... Wouldn't dream of it lol
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorSonya
Haven't sent the invites yet. The 3 kids are his and they are invited but I can see her using the kids, saying they can't go if she's not though she's happy for his parents to have them all the time.
H2b thinks his brother and mum might be funny about it yet his mum is always falling out with her too!!
I just think even if we invited her and said she's out if anything kicks off I'm just gonna be waiting for it to happen all day so either way I'd be stressed.
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorLauraK7
It's so much harder when there's kids involved and especially if they are together at the time of the wedding, Maybe as the others have said leave the invite as late as possible and hope they aren't together???
your getting as bad as La La, lols
'..... Better?!
