First let me apologise, I really didn't think my first post would be in this section or possibly quite as long as this may turn out to be.

I've been with my partner 2.5 years and we got engaged on Xmas eve, during that time certain members of my family were less than supportive but since the engagement they have come around and welcomed G into the family. The past few weeks have been amazing with wedding planning, and for the first time everyone happy...or so we thought. This weekend my mum and I had a fantastic time at bridal fairs and even bought my dress this morning. G and I had picked the church, the date and are just finalising a venue for the reception.

I am CofE and G is Catholic, his mother a strict Irish Catholic, just after we got engaged we spoke to her about where we would get married and she said anywhere is fine. We fell in love with a beautiful CofE church, with a female vicar who is lovely, everything about it is perfect, until this evening when G told his parents. I cannot even begin to describe his mothers reaction, you would think he was running away and marrying a cow! I am actually still in shock at her attitude as didn't think people like that we're still about. Both religions believe in God and there is very little between them but she is furious, how dare we consider not getting married in a Catholic Church.

The conversation was left with her saying she would not come to the wedding and to be honest now I know her true opinion and attitude I really don't want her there but that's not fair on G, but what the heck do we do? Part of me just wants to cancel everything, part wants to run away to get married, part says sod it we love the church we're not changing and another part says be the better person and find a Catholic Church.

We finally thought both families were happy, we were so excited and now it just feels ruined. I really don't know what to do for the best.

S

He is really upset as well and very angry with his mum. He still wants the Church we chose but he isn't talking much at the moment as he's upset hence me being on here!

I agree with Kel Bel its your wedding do what you and your H2B want to do its your day not his mums wedding day =D ♥ X

If he still wants the church you've chosen, & you do as well, then stick to your guns & both put your foot down. It's not her day, it's YOURS. & as KelBel said, you will always manage to upset someone, somewhere! Let his mum calm down for a few days or so & then speak to her again & tell her your choice is final (if that's what you both want) & she'll just have to lump it basically! xx

Oh hun I'm sorry to hear this! We had a similar situation to this with my future fil! h2b is greek orthodox and I am CofE, we agreed to marry in my village church where I was christened, went to brownies, attended the school etc. and h2b's dad went mad as it wasn't the Greek Orthodox church. My vicar agreed to allow the Greek Orthodox priest to do a Greek blessing during the ceremony but this still wasn't good enough. We have stuck to our guns though and h2b's dad has started to realise that it isn't going change. Maybe just leave it for a bit and let her calm down. Don't change what you both want because one person isn't happy, you wont have a wedding if you keep doing that for everyone who has a problem with something! As long as it is was you and h2b wants, that's all that matters (and my guess is that she wouldn't miss her sons wedding over a church, she is just trying to scare you to get her own way!) xxx

Thank you for the replies ladies, I think we are going to try to talk to her today now we've all calmed down a little. I'm still very upset thou so hopefully I can keep my cool! xxx

Sorry to hear that hun it must be a bad situation for you. It may be that there is a lot of history between Irish Catholics and Protestants and a lot of it stems right back from the potato famine. She was probably fine with anywhere but a C of E church. Are you definitely set on this church or could you consider a civil ceremony? xxxx

Oh huni this isn't good but like the other ladies say if it is what BOTH of u want and love then stick to ur guns after all it is u & h2b day not hers xx

Give her time to calm down and then explain that she had said it would be ok how much u both love it etc xx

I agree with the others - if you are both happy with your choice, then don't be swayed by someone else's unrest - it is your day after all. Can you not have a blessing afterwards to keep her happy but still have your day? If not, then still don't let her dictate your union. Give G a bit of time, as it will hurt whichever way you go. Mull it over, and come to a decision you are both happy to run with.

It's ur day hun. Not hers. Please do
n't regret ur big day. Do wot u want. X

That is such good news Sarah2409 I am glad you are gradually sorting the problem out have it at the church you want with your Vicar and bring in a Catholic Priest for a double blessing and for the communion =D ♥ x

I hope progress continues to be made - sounds like you may get there yet!!

I agree, arriving at your place of work was a little extreme - glad work were okay with the incident. I hope your vicar can help sort out the ceremony too - and hoping that it'll smooth things over x

Maybe she will come round? At least things are a little better and a catholic there to bless you would be good to. Both of our parents are religious and when they found out we were not getting married in a church they were far from pleased. H2bs mother eventually came round and said well at least you won't be living in sin any more, was quite nastily said but was better than how she had been and then she was fine after a while and my mother got over it to x x

I would go for it my friends did the same thing they had one c of e vicar and one catholic, it was a lovely service xx

what a lovely vicar, i'd not heard of that being done before. and REALLY coming into your work is one things BUT SHOUTING HOW DARE SHE!!!!! I wish you all the luck in the world keeping her happy. but really glad you get to have the church you wanted

Just read this thread and your update. So glad you have found a compromisento keep the peace.

I can totally sympathise with you. I'm lucky, I'm Catholic and h2b is Methodist but we have no problems as he pretty much told me he'd alrea decided before he proposed that we'll have a Catholic church wedding which I'm so grateful for. However, my sister wasn't so lucky when arranging her wedding to my BIL. He's la non practicing Jehovah's Witness but his parents are practicing. My parents were furious they chose to have a non religious ceremony as they felt a Catholic church was a must. There were a lot of arguments and tears, it was horrible and so hard to jnow how to support my sister at the time. In the end my parents just had to deal with it, it's not the parents wedding, they had their day and this is about what the bride and groomed want. Parents must come round and respect what their children want for such an important day in their lives.

I hope you don't get any more grief from mil2b xxx

I hope you don't get any more grief from mil2b xx