Wedding Forum - Fuming with my sister!...

Ok, there’s a lot more to this than I’m going to go into on here, but I’m absolutely fuming with my sister. She has booked her wedding for 19 April next year. For once I wish she wouldnt try and 'steal my thunder'. This has been an ongoing pattern in our ‘relationship’ for as long as I can remember and for once I thought she would leave it but no. She hasnt even had the balls to tell me herself, instead I found out on FB and my mum has (reluctantly) confirmed it! I know I sound childish and horrible, but this is years of the same thing, which again, I wont go into detail on - suffice to say she has done some selfish, awful things to me and other members of the family both pysically and emotionally! I know she's done it so my parents attention wouldnt deflect from her. She had absolutely no inclination or desire to get married. They were going to last year but called it off ((1) because they have an extremely volatile and drink supported relationship and (2) because she only did it to get back at her ex). Suddenly now they are madly in love! This coming from a couple who have split up on a monthly basis since they started seeing each other.

What gets me most is we booked ours for 2015 specifically to tie it in with my 30th, and hubs 40th, and guess who is 30 next year 2 weeks before her wedding? I swear I might have to walk out if I hear mention of 'double celebrations'.

Dont get me wrong, I dont begrudge people marrying before me, I am happy for those that will probably end up getting engaged after and married before, but my sister constantly tries to outdo me and make sure our parents attention is completely 100% on her and her sons. I am sick of it! You wouldnt think she was 14 months older than me!!!!!! Its not only me she does it with, she does it with everyone, if you have a big TV, hers will be bigger etc etc, but Im her sister! Add to this that we've already booked holiday for that week, as she had not told me her plans, and am now being told that we need to come home early for her wedding, when this is usually our only proper family holiday all year.


Sorry, just had to offload as its driving me round the bend!

I have a sister and i never get this issue :( i feel for you. My advice is to ignore whats going on in their life. Just think when its the run up to your wedding your family and friends will be so excited for you and nothing will take that away. Let the attention seekers get on with what they have to do, unfortunately nothing will stop them. If your family/friends attention seek on your wedding then it says more about them.. xx

MelN - I know if I did that it would somehow be turned around that I'm the bad one for not attending my only siblings wedding. No matter how awful my sister is, my parents always have an excuse for her or blame someone else. She once attacked me and my parents asked me why I had said I said, no mention of she shouldnt have lashed out! Its just gotten to the point where I cant be bothered. Sad thing is we were close until our late teens when it all went downhill and now we barely say a word to each other even when we're in the same room.

Try not to let the issues in her life affect you and your happiness. Enjoy planning the wedding and indulge in the excitement of your wedding. X

Yeh, I'm trying to tell myself it shouldnt matter as its more than a year before mine and hopefully by then no one will be thinking of it, but I just cant help but be annoyed.

Going off what you say I'd fully expect it to not go ahead and if it does it'll probably be a shambles anyway.... Let her have her 'moment' and try not to rise to it

I'd not come back early from my holiday either, she should of had the decency to tell you her plans.

LinziJo

Sounds like my parents and my sister! No matter what she's ever done (and she's pulled a few doozeys) they will look the other way, ignore the evidence, find an excuse, whatever they need to to make it go away and not see her as anything but a shining angel. I'm lucky that in the last year she seems to have really gotten a lot better, but every time my mum has a drink and talks about family or my sister we still have a huge row over her blindness with my sister (because she tries to make me "understand"). Fortunately my H2B has taught me that its not important, that I love my mum and I have to accept that she will always be blind to my sister and find a way to see past it and enjoy my relationship with her without letting the negatives destroy an otherwise good relationship with my mum. He helps me to focus on the positives and how happy we are, and to be happy and not let those things that are negative to affect us as much. So that would be my advice, whatever she does or how mad she gets just focus on your life and your happiness. I know that its not as easy said as done, but the more you focus on you and your happiness the easier it will be to keep it out of your focus

Its just so annoying as as soon as I do something, she'll do it, its like she just cant make any decisions for herself so she makes them based on my life. For example, I got a sports car when I was 19, worked my arse off for it, weeks later she gets a convertible paid by a loan which my parents paid off when she got pregnant, I get pregnant she follows suit, I'm doing a degree through work, she signs up for an open uni one, I'm getting married, now she is! Grrrrrrrr. Bloody family do my nut sometimes!

Ive now deleted her on FB though as dont want to be seeing it all the time and that way she wont know what stage of planning I'm at.

Its an awful situation when parents turn a blind eye but sounds like youve accepted that thats the way its going to be.
As its been said, i think you would regret missing your sisters wedding if it does happen, but its not fair for her to expect you to come home early from your family holiday, especially when shes been so secrative with you about it!!