My best friend has just found a MASSIVE history of **** websites on the computer she shares with her fiance of 2 years. They have a baby together and she is absolutley devastated! I dont know what to say to her ... she showed me some of the sites he'd been looking at and I was really shocked at what he was looking at on a regular basis. Shes confronted him about **** in the past, n he always said that the sites were pop up ones, but the history made it obvious these were no pop ups, there was regular browsing going on. I dont know what to say to her or how to help her. Any advice please? xxx
CommentAuthorKimmie.Bride.to.be
I also have a strong hate for this. But I am sorry, I dont really have any advice. I just think your friend needs to talk to her fiance about it, if she really hates it. And he will hopefully promise not to do it again, although if he is denying it, I am not sure. Maybe find out if you can turn a child safety feature on, but not tell her fiance, then see if he goes to do it again, or just take the computer off him, put a password on it. And check his phone too!xx
CommentAuthorGuessWho
He obviously is lying about the pop ups. My firend went through this exact thing very recently - it turned out that he was looking at these sites day and night whenerver she wasn't around. He promised he'd stop then she caught him a fe months later doing it again including when he was looking after their child. She basically asked him to come with a solution or it was over as she couldn't stand the lying and the obsession with p0rn as he wasn't doing anything around the house on his days off but looking at these sites. He told her it stemmed from his last relationship where he was married to someone for 7 years with Bulemia and they sisn't have a s ex life so he turned to the sites - this then turned into a habbit - one which he had to break. He took the password off his laptop and she in turn started talking about his fantasies more and acting up on them. They now watch p0rn together so it doesn't ahve to be hidden away. I know they are a lot happier now than they ever seemed to be.
Hope this helps hun xx
Engaged 20th May 2011 - Times Square, New York
Wedding 18th May 2013 - South of France
CommentAuthorKimmie.Bride.to.be
Phones dont have pop ups do they!xx
CommentAuthorKimmie.Bride.to.be
Sounds horrible, but the whole idea repulses me. So where your friend started watching it with him, sounds CRAZY to me lol.xx
It's not an uncommon thing for men to do, they're visual creatures who often have higher sex drives than women do.
If it's something that he does once in a while then it's not really a big deal. But if it's all he's spending his free time doing then it is a bit of a problem. If he'd rather take interest in the sites over her then something is wrong.
The only thing she can really do is take a step back from freaking out- omg he's watching this stuff he doesn't find me attractive etc etc. And instead find out why he's doing it, explain that it makes her uncomfortable and ask what she can do to discourage it.
To be fair, if he's not getting as much sexy time as he'd like at least he's turning to the pron and not another woman!
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthorLegoWife
What the? We can say sexy but we can't say s.e.x? Are we not all adults here? There's even a category about mums/trying to conceive/pregnant and we're not allowed to use the word s.e.x?! *facepalm*
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthor
My h2b used to look at those kinda sites all the time, but it never bothered me! at least hes not out cheating! if you google it you will probably find a pertentage of men who watch these vids etc and i can bet it will be very high! its just men for you! if she disapproves hes obviously going to do it in secret which is much worse than just being able to be honest with her! i understand that most people think its pathetic and disgusting but its not really! i bet most of the ukbrides h2bs have all watched a bit in their lives but would never admit it to their wifes! maybe tell her to take it easy on him, see it as a hobby rather than horrible and perverted! she could even give it a go herself haha :-)
met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
Had our amazing twin boys 16/05/2008
Finally becoming Mrs Davies on 31/08/2012 will make me the
happiest lady alive :-)
CommentAuthorRockabilly chick
I agree with Hollhollholly and lol at your second comment too :-)
Purely out of interest, are there no gals on here who enjoy a bit of time alone with some visual stimulation? :-)
xxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorAtaraxia
I think she should definitely talk to him like it's been suggested. It's not a BAD thing to want to watch the old PRON and if they are in a loving relationship he shouldn't be made to feel like he has to hide it.
My h2b doesn't watch porn, at least I know he has and we have watched it together once just to see and I have seen enough in my time but he's not really that into it. Some men are though, I've had previous boyfriends who liked it, others didn't.
Unless he's looking at sites he really shouldn't be, like illegal ones or something dangerous or you get my drift - it's perfectly normal. It's understandable that not all women like it but in my experience I have found men generally don't expect their girlfriends to perform like the girls they have seen on the videos, they are not wishing that their girlfriend looks more like the girls on the videos or anything and most men realise that a lot of what they watch is very posed etc!
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Love, love... Here we are.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
the bigger deal she makes of it the more he will hide the fact
Yeah totally, its just a way of release for most guys. My man isnt really into pron either. I think I like it more than him lol. Also I think a lot of guys watch so much pron when they are like 15/16/17 that by the time they are in their 20's they arent bothered about it anymore.
Also, if someone is watching pron and they're not having s.e.x. with their partners then somethings is wrong. If my man was up watching pron and refusing s.e.x. with me, I would be raging. If not, I dont really care if he watches it when I am not about. Doesnt bother me.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
i don't have a problem with h2b watching it (he doesn't anymore though. he hasn't got the time!!). we've watched it together as well. personally, i don't think it's an issue, but lying about it is.
but at the same time, he shouldn't have to hide it. it's not the same as cheating and just a release or maybe a bit of fantasy. i know i sometimes feel a bit..you know...but really can't be bothered with shouting h2b lol a lot of people who take offense to that have no problem with women's toys...i really don't see the issue
my friend found out her husband had been watching it and threw him out the house and wanted a divorce!! A DIVORCE JUST FOR WATCHING THAT!!!
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
rockabilly chick...i have been known to seek 'alone time' before....
my eldest's dad was totally addicted to it and it got to the stage where he would rather watch that than go near me...but he was a hornyyy 18yo at the time and we were not getting alone. at the time i switched from not being bothered by it to hating it for making me feel ugly etc and then back to not caring.
h2b and i have watched together quite a few times (anything to add a bit of spice lol) and i have to say it was really... enjoyable lol
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorRockabilly chick
Yeah, thats a bit mad. I mean, its like taking away someones personal freedom. I mean, would she get a divorce if she found him masterbating without any pron? I think its a shame because she is obviously incredibly insecure but its totally over the top to ask for a divorce.
xxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorRockabilly chick
haha I like it :-) I thought I was the only one for a minute then :-)
When I was about 18/19 I hated it too because I was the most insecure I've ever been. But then I saw it for what it is, just something to watch to well you know what to. It would only bother me if I found out my man was into really weird stuff like a foot fetish or something lol.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
she also doesn't want him 'sorting himself out' either. she sees that as being as bad as cheating. 'he can have me any time he wants so why does he feel the need to do it??' is her view on it all
...yet she is the first one to talk about her toys etc. had many a debate with her over it
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorRockabilly chick
Thats nuts, I'd be raging if my man told me he didnt want me to sort myself out. I'd tell him to get lost lol
xxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorAtaraxia
That's insane. I think like rockabilly said, pron or other things when you aren't giving anything to your partner is BAD. But if your sex life is fine then why shouldn't he be allowed to do what he likes with his own man parts!
As for the toys, I personally find it hypocritical that she doesn't want him to do those things but she's allowed toys - lots of men are threatened by them as they are a physical thing instead of just a fantasy and or a hand... they are actually there and some men feel like they are something to compete with because of size or you know, because men can't vibrate or wiggle their man junk :P so if she feels bad about him having pron or what I like to call 'fapping' (thankyou internet) then she might like to rethink having a whole different 'member' in the equation.
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Love, love... Here we are.
CommentAuthormrsMcF2b
My sister had this problem too and she and her fiance split up over it (back together now). BUT i personally dont see it as a big deal. The porn industry is massive and millions of men and women watch porn. I wouldnt be offended if my h2b watched porn, its not like he is cheating . I know its a touchy subject but come on , in this day and age it really shouldnt be something thats frowned upon. I know this is just my opinion but if its really bothering your friend then she should talk to him about it, but if they have a healthy relationship otherwise then i dont see why it has to be a problem. xx just sayin :) xx
CommentAuthorSoon2bMrsS
lol at rockabilly with the foot fetish =p. It doesn't bother me if H2B watches it we've watched it together and apart but if he was using it all the time I think that would bother me. I would be a hypocrite if I told h2b not to do it lol. So all I can say to the inital post is that although your friend may have a big problem with it she may have to comprimise with her fiancee. They need to have a chat in a calm way coz he shouldn't have to feel he needs to lie about it...that would bother me more than anything I hate lying!!! And definately don't recommend the checking phone thing...it makes paranoia a lot worse and it's taking away trust as well. And the whole child lock thing on the internet? definately not, she shouldn't control him like that he's an adult and should be free to screw up and make his own choices...the consequences come later!!!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
just been talking to mr lala about this all to get a mans perspecive ......and he is amazed at your friend , he has said that this is the sole he upgraded the hard drive on his laptop
i have just told him to wear glove and use hand sanintizer .......
I have to say Im another one who really isnt bothered by it at all...I know my OH watches it and has photos on his phone, but to be perfectly honest I really dont care.....
The way I see it is...he isnt gonna run off with his hand, lol! Its human nature to want to look at and to find other humans attractive and just because your taken that doesnt go away...but id far rather he looks at naughty pictures than looks for another 'real' person...
Ive asked him before why he looks at it and his answer is always simple 'I just like to look....'
Nothing wrong with that...at the end of the day, its my bed he is in at the end of every day...everything else is just a fantasy!
I would suggest to your friend that she tells him how she feels and asks him to delete the history if she gets offended by it...and I would second the opinion to try and watch it together...maybe then she might see there is no threat.x
About to marry the man of my dreams
Bring on 15/9/2012!!
CommentAuthorOfficialMrsField
and.....to be honest...im glad of it sometimes...saves me a *ahem* - job.....hahahaha
About to marry the man of my dreams
Bring on 15/9/2012!!
CommentAuthorLegoWife
LOL MrsField2b.
It's true though, sometimes one of you might be in the mood and the other isn't! Can't be helped but can be sorted haha~
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthorOfficialMrsField
Yep....quite often ill just say "cant you just do it yourself?" .....poor sod...hahahaha...god knows why he wants to marry me??
About to marry the man of my dreams
Bring on 15/9/2012!!
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
I've been threw this and i was devastated he tried hiding the fact etc but it caused that much hassle he stopped doin it only if written watched it together which is very very very rare!!!!!! He even used. to buy copies of the lads from work and there is now a few in wardrobe but he has'ntt wAtched them Yet!!!!. every man watches porn weather single married gay and their gfs wife will think they don't nut they do x nothing u can say other than just because he watches it it dost mean he dent fancy or love her he does sometimes they just want a fast relief. either out the hassle x
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
get married 21/4/12 then i will become mrs johnson
3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorellierose91
p0rn is fine doesnt bother me at all there just actress' not real people, but i had an ex who went on web chats with people and then would go on the web cam with them to me that was cheating, i had to check his laptop consintly but he'd just delete the history so i could never see anyway, after that it gave me loads of trust issues. the relationship broke down cos i didnt trust him n he got sick of me checing up on him. i still find myself checking up on h2b even though iv never found anything other than the odd bit of p0rn which as i said is fine x
CommentAuthorHannahDavis
That is crazy!! I really don't get what the problem is, let him enjoy it!
xx
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
if i caught h2b chatting to females OR GUYS(!!) online, i would cut it off!!!!!!!!!!
lala...
and ataraxia i actually lol'd at man junk!!!
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorloustew2012
both me and h2b are quite open about all that stuff. he watches it i watch it no big deal.
if the friend and partner discuss their issues then they can sort this out, maybe he has fantasies but doesnt know how to say to partner, i dont know about them and not gonna pry its private obv.
communication is the key and being honest works. they should sort it out no problems.
as h2b just said its not that we not happy sometimes we just need a bit of edge!!! (dunno what he means there ha ha ha!!)
xx
All the ways of my life id rather be with you.
Theres no way without you.
10.11.12
CommentAuthorMummy Geri
I dont think theres anything wrong with watching it AS LONG AS- - its not used regularly -its not replacing sex -its not any bad sites
tbh I would rather my h2b watch a porno when I am away than cheat. Maybe she should try opening her mind a little bit?
bride-to-be Geri
CommentAuthorMrsowen2b
my h2b watches it when im away say like when i go and stop over one of the girls houses after a night out because i dont want to pay for a taxi or when i went away for a week on holiday with the girls. it used to upset me because he used to watch blondes and skinny people he would actually search for blonde big boobs milf and as i am not blonde (all his previous gf's are) this used to bother me. now i dont care, he was threatened by womens toys and told me i wasnt allowed to have one bigger than him because i may not want him any more. we now use both these things together (PoRn and womens toys) people are stimulated in different ways its not a bad thing it can be fun its that common for women they even have categories called "women friendly" its not meant to be seen as though its replacing her. i am speaking from experience, because i had never used it i thought it was dirty and disgusting after watching it with h2b i have now changed my mind sometimes i have laughed during it because ive seen some unrealistic videos.
:)
xx
CommentAuthorSoon2bMrsS
Yeah I can have a laugh with h2b over it...some of the things are just daft! I will admit that h2b went on camera before to a girl I used to chat to a lot and I was furious but at the end of the day he didn't know it would be a problem because me and said girl used to chat about s.e.x a lot and used to regularly go on camera together...it caused issues obviously but we worked through them. He knows that it was wrong now and was horrified that he hurt me so much and has never done that since =) as long as you make boundries clear things like p0rn and talking about fantasies can be fun and enjoyable =)
CommentAuthorEnny
Being honest lots of men do it they just dont like to admit... I caught h2b looking at those sort of sites... and just went on history having a look around what he is interested in... never really found anything that bad so therefore I rather have him looking at porn/pics on the net than him being out and looking for it in real life... I guess for some its just a turn on sort of thing for some just something they do when they know their partner isnt available... but i recommend your friend shall talk to her fiance and I'm sure they can work something out :)
CommentAuthorStevie_Dee
Steve won't look at p0rn on the pc as in the past before me he got a few nasty computer viruses. We watch dvd p0rn now and then and have quite a range of dvds, that add spice to our alone time. I think most times I am the first to suggest it. I think because we both have a high s3x drive theres never a need for him to go and view anything alone.
I have a gorgeous husband!
2 brilliant wonderful boys, a wonderful life
in Cornwall. Happiest woman ever!
Now making our house a home. Blessing 2014.
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's totally normal to indulge in a bit of pron. If I told h2b that he couldn't watch it then I would never be able to watch rugby which is my version of pron. We've watched a bit together to get us in the mood and I think it's great for a giggle. Your friend needs to stop worrying about it he's allowed hobbies of his own. He's not chatting with real life women, all men know that these women are acting and would not be the ideal choice of wife it's all harmless fun.
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
CommentAuthorZoe81
I don't see what the problem is, as log as he's not watching anything too extreme or anything illegal!!!? It's waaaaaay better than him cheating!?
I understand the annoyance if it's all he's doing with his free time but I'd sit down and talk about it and ask if you can watch it together and maybe act out some of his fantasies, maybe he's just to shy to talk about it because he think's you'll go mad. He's obviously right about that bit, but it's not harming anyone so what's the problem!?
x
CommentAuthorAshlie-Louise
thank u ladies ... had a very long chat with my friend n showd her ur posts! shes stopped freaking out at least! i think the biggest problem she has was not that he was watching p**n but that he was lying about it ... he even lied when she confornted about it! bt by the sounds of things, they had a gd long talk n sorted somethin out! thank u agen ladies xxx
