Wedding Forum - Friend/guest dilema...

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Help: Friend/guest dilema

1 to 12 of 12

- CommentAuthorHayleyS37
Hi, i need a bit of advice please. I have a group of friends who i get on with well apart from one. She patronises me, makes sly comments and slags me and my H2B off which makes me feel I don't want her there. She has already assumed she is invited to my wedding because "its a free party". Im the sort of person who goes out my way to make sure other people are happy even if its not what i want. I don't want to offend anyone and obviously i would love the rest of my friends to come but i no it will cause friction in the group if i don't invite her. Am i being selfish? and does anyone have any help how i can go about telling her she wont be invited but the rest of my friends would be. Help :( Thanks x
- CommentAuthorVelcro
I would just leave her to her assumptions and just not give her an invitation, do you really need to justify your decision to anyone? surely people are aware of how she behaves toward you?

Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
- CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
To be honest this person doesn't sound like a friend and more of an acquaintance that is within a group of people you know. You should never feel obligated to invite someone solely on what other people will think because then it becomes a day about your guests and not you and you OH. If your friends have a problem with this then that is their choice not yours. Is this group close friends or friends you get together with sometimes?

Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
- CommentAuthorElizabethF49
Tbh if it was me I'd invite her the same as the rest of the group of friends. It's very difficult though and the reason I would invite her is so it doesn't cause friction with the rest of the girls I do anything to aboid arguments. Sorry I'm not much help but if you really don't want her there then I'd just tell her

After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
- CommentAuthorShowgirl
Could you invite her to just the evening? If people ask you could explain that you simply didn't have enough space during the day once family and other close friends had been factored in and so you decided to invite her just to the evening since out of everyone in the group you felt there was less of a connection between you and her.
I can't stand my friend's girlfriend and don't want her at the wedding but really want my friend there so we're inviting them to just the evening as a compromise.
If you don't want to have her at any part of the wedding at all then just don't invite her. She'll get the message when everyone else gets their invitation but not her... yes, it may cause tension but to be honest she doesn't sound like much of a friend to you anyway.
If you do invite her to the evening make sure its a pay bar - that'll put her right on it being 'a free party'!

- CommentAuthorFranM76
I have a friend that I used to get on with really well, but she started to become patronising towards me, makes it clear she doesn't really like my H2B, and I know she talks about us behind our backs. Now this friend has been very close in the past - but her behaviour over the last year makes me feel uncomfortable and H2B definitely doesn't like her. Top and bottom of it is, we don't want her there so she's not invited. My mum thinks will cause friction etc and she will probably expect an invite (she's only concerned because she's very good friends with her mum) but stuff it - it's our wedding. I don't want someone there that will cause any sort of atmosphere. One thing it has meant is that there are a couple of people I haven't invited that I would have liked to really because we all used to be a group of friends together and if I invite them it becomes very clear that we just don't like her....sorry for waffling but it's along the same lines. Go with what you and H2B wants hun, true friends won't be funny with you over it xx
- CommentAuthorclairenina
I wouldn't even have to give it much thought, she wouldn't be invited. Slagging off and sly digs would be more than enough for me to give her the elbow
- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I found being honest with people is best, just tell her no, I don't like how you treat me.

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthorBecky1608
  
  edited
I don't think you're being selfish at all? You want people there who support you and will help make your day special. She sounds like she'd do the complete opposite!! Xxx

29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
- CommentAuthorAprilS61
I wouldn't invite her at all. Shes not your friend, just your groups friend. Surely they must see the way she is around you and understand why you wouldnt want her there? She's also not going to be upset about not being invited either by the sounds of it. Even if she did make a fuss and is so desperate to come to the 'free party' make her pay for her own place! Don't let her off lightly xx

Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
- CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i d send and invite as follows

Dear ......

we would like to not invite you to our evening reception

venue --- you dont need to know
time ..... time you started treating me like you expect to be treated

attire ... jarmies as you will be sat at home

we dont enclose a gift list as quite frankly all the put downs you have given me are gift enough

rsvp .... yay you dont need to bother with this one

from ..........

Moderator
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- CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary

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