Omg omg. Got engaged a month ago and today is the first day we have properly sat down to start planning our wedding and I am completely stressing out! First we thought we wanted it abroad but now after discussing who we wanted to invite we've decided to have it where we live. Agreed on a £9k budget and 100 guests with our venue costing £5250 which includes basically everything (3 courses, evening buffet, DJ etc) but after speaking with my mum and having her remind me of other people to invite me and H2B are already over our 100 day time guests. If I try to cut people out then it will just end in arguments and I'm taking up 70% of the guest list with my friends and family which isn't fair on H2B.

Seriously stressing here and not even booked anything yet!!!

i was in the same predicament ! i have a huge family and so does my h2b plus he had a billion friends ! obviously at first i thought i will invite everyone i need everyone etc etc mil came up with few people that MUST beinvited the we just took a step back! our budget is way way smaller than yours and we had to decide on no more than 40 guests including children and us!! the hardest thing i have ever had to do but we started with the ones theres no way i would want to get married without, this took up 65% of the numbers! then inc best man and his mrs and son, o/h 2 very best mates and my best mate and his family. thats was that we reached our numbers and we explained to everyone that we were having an intimate ceremony and wedding breakfast and that they would all get personal invites to our evening do! no one complained most people dont even particularly want to do the whole day unless of course you are close ! the evening party is the bit everyone looks forward too in my opinion and we have concentrated alot of effort on making that a great part of our day! dont get pushed into inviting "aunt mable down the road who once babysat you" or old "old derick who doesnt get to go many places" invite those you absolutely want there and will make your day special can you have more guests in the evening?

dont stress about it bet your mum i just super excited! concentrate on venues and fun bits for a while and themes etc and leave the guest list for a bit do it closer the time when invites or std's need to be done so tleast you can enjoy the first bit! then you are just going to have to be straigt with everyone :)

We struggled with guest list too...

I would say don't set anything in stone yet - a lot can change over three years, particularly where friends are concerned. We did an initial guest list when we first got engaged (two years before our wedding date, give or take) of around sixty guests. By the time we did the final day guest list, we were down to forty three - there had been no major fallouts between us and the guests we removed, it was a case of them separating from their partners or us just drifting apart, them moving to other parts of the country etc.

Realistically, you can't get blood out of a stone, and whilst you obviously have a healthy budget, be prepared for other costs creeping in. We got our venue for 4k (incl evening do and catering) and thought that would be the bulk of the cost so we could add other guests as we pleased...have you set a budget for the rest of the things yet? I was surprised at how much things cost, such as photographers, cakes, transport, a band, wedding rings, dress, accessories and this made us determined to have only the people there who would really care about seeing us get married.

I'm sure a lot of people would be happy with an evening invite...as much as I hate to say it, sometimes weddings can be a burden for the guests, too - new outfit, travel, accommodation, hotel bar prices and that's before a gift. Personally, I always love to receive a wedding invite and feel happy that the couple want me to be there on the day, but it can be an additional stress to some people.

Xx

It's completely up to you who pays for the bm dresses - if the bms are paying though, they will want more of a say in the dress, which may be a problem if they have different ideas to yours...also, make it clear that they will be paying from the off!
Traditionally the bride pays, but more and more people are asking for a contribution.

Just a word of warning: be very, very careful with china dresses from the bay of e - some are fantastic, some are terrible, make sure you do your research first (there's a thread on here re china dresses). That said, I'm not trying to put you off because my dress is a china dress and is absolutely amazing and every bit as good as one from a wedding dress shop, I just know some of the ladies on here have had absolutely awful experiences. Loving the converse though!

Xx

Try not to stress out, you have loads of time to sort it all without panicking. You want to enjoy this time. X