We are getting married in August this year as h2bs grandparents are well...old....and might not be here another year (not being horrible but you never know do you) I don't have any grandparents left anymore and it is really gutting me that none of them will be there to see me get married! I dont really remember 2 of my grandparents dying as i was alot younger but my grandma, who was a massive part of my life, died 5 years ago and I miss her every day. My last grandad passed away 2 years ago, I was living in Newcastle with h2b and twins at the time and even though i tried my best (the speed limit was coming up to 100mph that day lol) I couldnt get home in time to say goodbye...I still feel really bad for this even though i know it couldnt be helped!
how can i involve them in my wedding even though theyre no longer here?
I dont want to have a special place at a table for them, as seeing the seats empty will only upset me even more.
but there are other people in my family who have passed away, would doing something special for just my grandparents be disrepectful to the others?
How can I remember my loved ones without putting a total downer on our day?

xxxx

We have the same problem I lost my grandmother 7 year ago and my great grandma when I was very young, but never got to meet any of my others. We started planning ouR wedding 2 yr ago and unfortunately had to put it off due to my H2B grandparents both becoming very ill his grandfather passed away after a few months of finding out how ill he was due to cancer. Then his grandma who suffered with demensia passed away just a few month later. She just gave up on life after losing her true love. We now feel we can start planning again but are gutted they can not be there. We are considering red heart shaped balloons being released for all the loved ones that are not able to be there. We are also playing a couple of their favorite songs. We are considering their favorite miniture chololates on each table, this is not certain yet though. Hope you find something special I know how hard it is x

That sounds like a lovely idea Krissy905 xx

Linzi-Jo that is such a beautiful way to think of our loved ones who have passed on xx

I'm having a locket pinned on my bouquet with a picture of my aunty and uncle in, they have loads on etsy - i can find a link if u want.... :) xxx

I have a candle we are going to take and light as we are having a collection of photies of the different weddings through the generations so we will place the candle next to the pic of mum and dad.

weve got a quaich with all the peoples names engraved on it and will be lit during the ceremony as soon as were pronounced man and wife. scott is giving us a special prayer and he will say this as were lighting it then our grandparents and h2b best friend name will be read out. we will keep it burning throughout the day in all their memory

these are all lovely ideas, im walking in to 'annies song' which was one of my grandmas favourite songs but i just wanted something a bit special for them! i love the idea of letting balloons off for them all. I dont really want pictures as they will be very upsetting and i want them to be remembered in a nice way.
my h2b is also very lucky as to not have lost anyone very close to him/immediate family so I'm struggling to get him to understand it all.
I am one of those people that believe that all that have passed away are still there, watching us and I do take comfort in that, i just dont want to think 'i really wish my grandma was here' on the day and end up balling my eyes out!
Thanks for all your help guys xxx

Both are my parents are gone, and my H2bs mum is too and so we are having a framed picture of them on a table with flowers next to them. and in the evening we will be sending 3 lanterns into the sky , one for each of them.

i'm going to mention my mum, dad and my gran in my wee speech. hopefully i won't have 2 more people to add to the list by then (my aunt and great aunt

i'm thinking about having a photo of my mum and dad put on to a keyring and attatching it to my bouquet. i will also have my mum's engagement ring on my necklace and her wedding ring is my ring :)

i'm going to try and be lighthearted about them missing my day, like make a joke about how i wish they were at my wedding....to pay for it lol

i don't think it's morbid for wanting to remember the people who couldn't be there. whether i brought up my parents or not, people would be thinking about them and how they would've loved to be a part of it.

I am putting my bridesmaids bouquet onto the grave of the one I lost. Also I am planning to have a Rangers football club garter so as I feel that he is there with me!!! He was My dads best friend and like a second dad! He was rangers mad!!! I know he will be looking down on me on my wedding day, I am just gutted that he isn't here to see me getting married

I want to do something to remember H2B's Dad, I never met him as he died before I met H2B but I know how much he misses him. Unfortunately we're getting married an hour away from where he is buried and are going away for a minimoon for 3 days after the wedding so won't get chance to put my bouquet on his grave. I was thinking of getting a replica made to put on his grave, but we don't really have the money to do this.
I might raise the idea of letting a balloon or lantern off for him with H2B.

Z x

I think a memory tree with photos on is a lovely idea, I am glad i found this post as I have been wanting to do "something" just didnt know what without, as a previous post said, putting a dampner on the day, h2b has lost all his grandparents, ive lost one of my grandads, my best fiend 2 years ago, and a week ago today another close friend of ours comitted suicude so its really important to us to remember these people that were so close to us and even though i know they are with us looking over us all the time (my son can see them...freaky i know lol) i just think it would be nice just to give them a mention or have some photos present. I love the idea of lanterns too. My friends favourite song was Black eyed peas "ive got a feeling (tonights gonna be a good night) and it was played as we left the church at his funeral and we are having this played as ur second song, and everybody that knew him will know it is being played for him.

I just went to a wedding and in memory of someone that died not long ago they put little organza bags with small packets of poppy seeds, with a small verse saying something like plant these seeds in memory of X and every year you will watch them bloom. It was a really nice touch x

the dove release sounds a beautiful idea.

I'm having pictures of our grandparents who are nolonger with us on their wedding days in amongst our sweet buffet. Also having lockets with pics of them and my best friend who sadly passed away in 2008 in my bouquet so they can be with me all day for the whole event :)

My H2B lost his mum when he was 5 and his dad has since remarried so we dont feel like we want pictures of his mum there as may upset the family seeing her and slightly morbid but her favourite flowers were coronations so we are incorporating 1 single coronation in my bouquet (im not a massive fan hence not having a full bouquet) but that way she will be with us in spirit in the church and we will know she is with us xx

Excuse me if it's already been mentioned but you can also get a candle specially for the loved ones that are no longer here. I'm going to get one for my brother and have it sat with his wife and his kids on their table.

My daad is no longer here, but he was a huge part of my life <he raised myself and my brothers by himself> im going to have a big church candle, a picture and a memory book for ppl to write in what they think he would of thought of my big day :-)

my grandparents passed away 17 and 15 years ago, when we get married in august we are getting married in the same church they were married in , we are putting a picture of them on their wedding day up on the alter with 2 red carnations as this is what my nan had in her bouquet.
i hadnt thought of putting flowers on the grave but its a lovely idea x

Maybe you could find out if they had a fave hymn or song and play it during the wedding at some point, does anyone know what they had for their first dance at their wedding, other than that the locket idea or maybe the balloons idea wold be nice as you could include the guests they could all release a balloon xx

After we get married in my wedding car with my then husband, my two children, and my parents I'm going straight to where my grandparents are and splitting my bouquet between them. We are then heading back to the venue where we are having pictures on the cake table. It will have pictures of three of my four grandparents and three of Adams grandparents on there. I am also thinking about getting balloons with a copy small picture of the grandparent and their name d.o.b and the date they died on there with a message thanking them for looking over us on our wedding day x

my granddad was like a dad to me, he bought me us from the age of 5 when my dad left us. spent more time at my grandparents house more then our own in fact. thank be to god that my nan is still here and i think she'll outlive us all. she's 81 and apart from a few obvious elderly traits, she's as fit as a fiddle.
my granddad though lost his life to cancer 10 yrs ago last month. so in honour of my nan and granddad we're getting married on my nans 83rd birthday and it would have been there 63rd wedding anniversary. im having his favourite flowers in my bouquet purple lisianthums which is why we chose purple and im wearing a silver locket of the holy bible with my nan and granddads photo in it. my granddad id buried in Somerset where im from originally so im having foam flowers so i can take down to his grave and put them on there.
also my mums brother died when she was 16 i might not have knew him but he's my family so on top of my cake im having a silver vase with a mini bouquet in it. the vase was on his wedding cake, my mums wedding cake, my christening cake and it will be on my wedding cake so it will be on my childrens chritening cake and so on....
also my mums brother in law, my uncle died just before christmas last yr.
RIP all love u xx

These posts are all so lovely and touching. I had warning that my gran wasn't going to be with us, so as she was still well very early on into our engagement I asked her to write a reading to have at our wedding. She loved writing and has even written books to go alongside trips she took - such as when she got on a ferry at 80 to lay a reeth at the place her own father was supposed to have died when she was just a girl. I had to stress to my gran that she couldn't mention god as we are having a registrar perform our ceremony. I have asked both my brother and sister if they would do a reading at our wedding and when I told my brother it would be grans words he has jumped at the chance. My sister has chosen her own reading. And I haven't a clue what either says as my parents have mailed the registrar pack into the register office. I am so looking forward to hearing grand last words at our wedding.