Wedding Forum - FMIL...

Sorry, it's a long one. I am feeling torn :(
I get on with my in-laws. We arent best of friends, but we never had any arguements or any big disagreements.
I feel like they aren't very excited about the wedding, apart from SIL who is MoH. I haven't asked for any help as they don't seem very excited and they haven't offered to help at all. The only input they gave us was when we changed from getting married in a register office to getting married in a church and FIL said something like "I can't keep up with all the changes you are making." This was the only thing we changed, so don't know what he was on about.
My parents both live abroad, so neither of them are involved much in any planning. My mum isn't even coming due to a horrible divorce and them not being able to be in the same room, so I am not involving her in any planning, so not to upset her.
So my Grandma is helping me with a lot of the planning, which is great and she loves doing and since she lives next door to the in-laws she talks about our wedding every now and again.
So this morning when dropping off my daughter before work, my Grandma tells me, that MIL has told her that she is upset, that she isn't being involved in the wedding planning at all and that I didnt want her to see my dress. I had no idea, that she wanted to be invloved in the planning, she literally hasnt said anything or offered to help with anything. And I am only showing the dress to people who are involved in the wedding planning, which so fare is my Grandma and MoH.
My G/ma said she would be upset, too, if her daughter in-law didnt want her to see her dress, which I understand, but she was very much involved in planning their wedding, too.
It's not just about seeing the dress, though. I dont know whether to be the bigger person and call them and ask to help with some planning. There isnt much left to do to plan, so apart from talking about everything we have done so much, there isnt really anything she can help with now. On the other hand, I want to not involve her, since she hasn't asked and I think she just had a moan to my G/ma for attention.
Then again, I don't know if I feel bitter about everything, because I can't involve my mum in any of the planning, because I know she would absolutely love to help plan and I wouldnt even have to ask her to help, she would just do it. I don't think that would be fair and I would never do that on purpose, but maybe I am without noticing???

I had a bit of an awkward relationship with the mother in law to be. When I first met h2b he asked me not to tell her I had been married before, so I complied. But before I had chance to tell them years later, they found out and they acted all disappointed. I was cross because I felt like it wasn't their right to know everything about me, even though I had planned to tell them anyway.

Long story short, just after Christmas mil2b asked me out for lunch. I was dead nervous because we've never spent time together alone. But actually it worked. We chatted for hours, and ironed out all the things that had bugged us both. Including her lack of excitement about the engagement, and she apologised for that and even offered cash towards the wedding to make up for it. I'm glad we did it. She and I will never be best friends, we are different personalities, I'm independent and she is used to being in charge. But I think we have a better respect for each other.

So my advice, ask her out to lunch. Chat it all out. It worked for me.

i think so hun ......

Ive asked her if she wants to come with me and buy bowls and vases for my sweet buffet on Saturday. I only text her and she text back straight away, so I think she is excited. My daughter will be with us, so she can be our ice-breaker.

Thank you, me, too. Maybe she will come out of her shell a bit and show some excitement, if she really is. I would love to involve her more in the wedding and have some girly chats about it all.