Who would of thought flowers could cause arguements????
I invited my mum along tonight to help me sort out the flowers - well this has kinda come across "MUM PLEASE TAKE OVER THE FLOWERS"
This was my plan:
Bride bouquet MOH bouquet 2 x BMS bouquet
Centrepieces Low flower arrangement for top table
Groom Buttonhole (different to others) 3 x ushers (inc best man) buttonhole
Both dad's
Both mum's
Both nan's
This to me is way more than enough flowers!!!
But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
My mum has told me I HAVE to give my aunty and uncle one (her sister) and if I dont she will pay for it..... then my brother HAS to have one as well...... which would mean to make it fair that my h2bs aunty uncle n sister have to have one....
well if his sister gets one her kids would have to have one each cause they wud just cause uproar if they didnt.....
so now its lookin like theres going to be more people at the wedding with flippin buttonholes than without!
Ive told her its our wedding our decision, but shes just like "well if u dont arrange it ill just get in touch with florist and pay for the extra myself!!!!!!!!!
HONESTLY!!!!!!!!
Sick of me life!!!!!!!
Then theres the on going arguement that i dont want the maj of her side of the family at our wedding only our close relatives, not our distant ones.... they were invited to our engagement party, didnt show and didnt even let us know why or appologise! They still haven't met my h2b (theres 50 of them btw) so why should i invite them all?
We want people we know and love there.... and as much as I love them as my family I dont particulary like them and they show us no respect!
Honestly its such a faff!!!!!!
What is everyone else doing? x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Gosh, I just supplied flowers to myself, my MOH, 3 Bridesmaids, then the groom, best man x2, my step dad, then my other three sons.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
All I can say, is it's your day.
We had flowers for me, moh, bms - button holes for groom, bm, fog, fob, grooms brother my brother and my grandad.
Do what YOU want! x
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
i only had
me 2BM's 2 flowergirls mums nan's dad's best man groomsman 2 ushers
then a few people asked where i got them and ordered some themselves but they paid for them i didn't
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorNicholaP44
Blimey, ur mum really needs 2 sort it out!! Fingers crossed 4 u hun, xx
Am getting 3 mums big bouquets for thank you presents. (oh has split family hense the 3 lol )
But not getting the rest of the family lol only those invovled really. xxx
30-11-13 my life becomes complete
Mrs Solomon to be
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
people will get their own button holes if they want them ..... tell her your budget doent stretch to cover the other beyond your bridal party ... if she wants to buy them for others then that's up to her
Oh dear, we're only doing buttonholes for groom, best man and usher. If you're giving loads out I thought you were supposed to do them for every guest, half the guests could look a bit silly
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I would never go to a wedding expecting to be given a button hole.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
me neither at hubby's brother's wedding they got me one and i was really touched, they didnt have to but they did which is lovely :-)
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorClaireS2bMrsSimpson
We doing the bridal party as well as all the aunty and uncels on both sides so about 50 in all! But not working out to bad as we having daffodils.
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
do you want fresh flowers?
if you ordered foam flowers you could do them cheaper you only need some floral tape and some ribbon
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorJoanna
Your day, your way. Personally, I only want flowers for the bridal party xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthormadison_uk
I'm only getting them for the bridal party not all the uncles and aunts and gran's that would cost a fortune my mil2b called my h2b the other day asking if they needed to get buttonholes I said no but thinking about it maybe she meant for the rest of the family lol
CommentAuthornatalie2614
Im only getting them for the bridal party, it gets too expensive otherwise. Ive been to weddings where they had button holes for everyone which was nice but must have cost a fair bit judging by some of the prices ive seen.
Do what you want hun, or better still change your florist and dont tell your mum so when she rings the florist wont have a clue what shes talking about :)
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorJennyY
I am getting Me Bridesmaid Flower girl Mum's and step mum FIL Groom Best man Ushers
If anyone else wants them then they can get their own
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
So went last night......... and nothing was mentioned, until the quote arrived today.....
turns out that even tho my mum didnt ask when we were there she must have called her last night and added them on!
im also apparently getting a flower for my grandads grave too.... which would have been nice if I was allowed to come up up with that idea myself rather than me mum going behind me back and doing it too!!!
im sooooo annoyed its unreal!
x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
i really dont get why me n uncle have to have one! doing me head in!
and then my brother and h2bs sister - theyre not even in the bridal party!
everyone might as well have one!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorPenguinJ
im only getting me 3 bm 3 ladies corsage groom 8 button holes for dads n bestmen
was gonna get more but mum said no thats plenty
So lucky to be marrying my soulmate on 18/07/20
CommentAuthorJoanna
I can't believe she added them without telling you! Are you going to cancel them? Xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorlizzylou
Oh dear nicola, sounds stressful. Has the quote come back within you budget? If not can you simply say, I'm sorry it's over budget mum I'm going to take some things off, and then you'll just have to stand firm. xx
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorMrsK2b
I would say if they wanted to have one then they will have to pay for it themselves.
Is it fair on both sides? I had this as my H2B has more uncles than me so we only chose to have the bridal party plus my bridesmaids otherhalfs as they will be in alot of pictures.
Are you going to cancel them? xxxx
Cant wait until I become Mrs K
CommentAuthorCat
I would speak to your mum's sister about it, underhanded I know but she is more likely to be understanding about it than your mum who is well a MOB and in their head the day is about them, lol
CommentAuthorClareS
I've got: me 3 x bm's groom best man & wife 2 mums fog page boy 2 mini ushers. brother and sister in law sister in law
Everyone else can fend for themselves x
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
I have the exact same problem. I was gonna get buttonholes for groom, best man, usher, ring bearer and the two dads, but mil2b then said that I needed them for h2bs grandparents, the witnesses AND their partners, and the two mums. Really confused by it all...
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
CommentAuthorDonda
I would ring the florist up and tell her you only want what you have ordered, not to take any orders off anyone else (namely your Mum) Explain to your Mum why you don't want to buy flowers for all the aunts and uncles as you've explained to us and tell her you've made your decision based on your budget and she has no right in buying her side of the family when you will have to buy your H2B's side to be fair, maybe if she is willing to pay for all the other button holes that will have to be added because she wants those extra ones then tell her she can do that, but otherwise the button hole order stays as it is. Good luck, it's not easy keeping everyone happy and so you just have to go with what you want for your day. I've had a few small run ins with my mum and MI2B but they soon get over it and move on to the next gripe!!! LOL
Met on 7th April 2008
Got engaged on 14th November 2011
Getting married on 12th December 2012
Looking forward to the rest of my life with the man I love
CommentAuthorLilyB39
i thought usually just the parents, bridesmaid and groomsman, bride and groom have the flowers. do you ask why do the others need flowers? i would say just ignore them or pretend to agree, it is your wedding anyway and you can do whatever you want
CommentAuthorAlexK
I have bouquets for Me, 1 bridesmaid, small throwing posy, 1 flower girl 2 mums corsages button holes for- groom, best man, 2 dads, Usher (is also BM OH), page boy Plus 2 x top table bouquets which are also gifts for the mums If we had any grandparents we would get buttonholes/corsages for them I think. Basically wedding party and parents.
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I'm having bouquets for me, Corsages for bms and mothers, Buttonholes for groom, bm, fog, fob.
Otherwise everybody will end up with them! C
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Btw, I would nip this ringing up and changing your order thing in the bud (hehe, that's nearly a pun!) right now...
It could get out of hand if she thinks it's ok to do this...after all, it's your wedding, so you should get the final say!
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorTori
I agree with Laura, maybe speak to your florist and advise that she can only take orders from you x
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I tend to think that either just the bridal party should have them, or else everyone should. I'm seriously considering giving all our day guests one (depending on cost) as our bridal party amount to 14 people out of 50; so, 1/3 will be wearing them.
I think you should put your foot down, and either limit it strictly to the bridal party, or, if she is hell-bent on giving them to others and this will mean that the majority are wearing them, then she should pay for EVERYONE to have one, as I think those guests who didn't get one would probably be a bit offended (if I was at a wedding and 80% of the guests had button-holes, and I didn't, I'd be wondering why)
CommentAuthorAmyK
Having a floral arrangement for your grandfathers grave is very sweet. Why not consider what my mum did after her wedding in august - took the arrangement from the top table and She put that on hubby's parents grave, then put hers and my (BM) bouquets on her parents grave? They were beautiful arrangements and would've been silly to spend extra money on extra flowers. This may be especially worth considering if you're off on a honeymoon or away from home straight after, as you wouldn't be at home to enjoy the flowers before they die.
CommentAuthorpink*wink
oh dear :o what a tricky situation... I think that although perhaps ur mums heart is in the right place, she is overstepping the mark BIG time by going behnd your back! I wld def advise ur florist to only take direction from you, and cancel the extra orders. Can i ask, is ur mum paying for the whole wedding? Maybe she feels she has a right to determine whats going on if she is. Otherwise, A serious (but gentle as we dnt want any fall outs!!!) chat is in order to make her see that as much as u appreciate her help, what u say goes. good luck hun xx
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
tell the florist that you are the client not your mum so therefore the order can only come from you, then the florist will have to put all the decisions through you. if you mum rings up it the duty of the florist to ring you to clarify that that is what you want rather than just adding it
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
Excluding the groom and best man and groomsmen and possibly pageboy if you have one, the button holes should only be given to your immediate family (meaning your brothers, sisters, mother and father) and your grooms immediate family provided that the sisters are not in the wedding party as bridesmaids obviously don't wear them.
If other guests want to wear a buttonhole they get their own, end of!
By the way I totally sympathise with you dealing with your controlling mother. Mine is the same. She decided to add an extra 50 guests even though my venue is allowing me 100 max. Plus she decided I am having either pink or else white chair sashes and no other colour is allowed. She's been told no for both of these things and has dropped the colour scheme idea but will not accept the fact I'm not inviting all my cousins boyfriends and girlfriends who I've never met and who I will have to make room for by not inviting my friends and some of my grooms family lol she just does not get it at all!!!
