Hi Ladies, sorry if this puts everyone in a sombre mood. I'm having a really bad day. As the rain is pouring from the sky my tears are free flowing as well. I don't know why but I can't stop crying. I think it's starting to all get to me now. As you may of read in an earlier post my H2b fell out with his Mam and Dad in Feb and things haven't got any better. His sister whom was supposed to be making our wedding cake has told us she no longer wants to make it. We are getting no help financially or even doing anything for us. I have no job therefore struggling with everything. I'm worried about no one from his family wanting to attend and then my H2b feeling miserable on our day. I'm doing literally everything myself and it's taking it's toll on me. Every penny we get we put in a tin to pay for stuff we need. My H2b says as long as we have a roof over our heads, bills are paid and there's food on the table we'll be fine. I just feel like things always go from bad to worse. My ex-hubby doesn't help me out financially with our kids either he sits nicely in his house with his £1,700 a mth wages and drinks it. I didn't even have a fiver to get any food last wknd so I txt him and asked if he could spare me £10 and the reply I got was that's what the family allowance is for.
So you see, I feel like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders and I'm only 4ft 10" ( had to joke about summit )

Oh hun, sorry you are feeling so down!

Most of us have been there before, my ex would never pay a penny either, I was so relieved the day my daughter decided she no longer wanted to see him as the CSA is a joke!
And in order to get to see her he would've had to come up with some kind of money so he disappeared, best day of my life!

As I love to cut costs on anything I can, thought I'd share my top money-saving tip.
I make out a meal planner each month (I get paid monthly!) Then I buy all the meat and anything else that will keep or freeze etc. that I need for the whole month. Including all the things you need for breakfasts, lunch boxes, then toiletries etc.
Break the meal list down into weeks to figure out what veg/fresh produce you need each week include milk and bread in this list and this is the important bit, don't stray from the list ever! Sounds harsh but this saved me £200 a month that I used to pay off bills I was unable to pay!

Hope this helps a little, it does work if you stick to it! Best of luck hun xx

Thanks lillybaby and Kaz we have sewn that many seeds now we could open our own veg stall lol . We should have potatoes soon. I travel about 25miles every wknd to buy our weekly veg as u get huge swede's, cabbages, parnsips etc all for 59p each which is a bargain and if I blanch it, put it in the freezer it lasts the week. I've started to buy meat from Aldi as mega cheap and Iceland have good size bags of quorn for £2 that does 2 meals. I pay all my bills on time so don't owe anybody so at least that's not a worry.
I've started a collection to have a boot sale when weather picks up so if I sell everything for a pound I'll make £350 which will pay for the suits hire.
My girls are let down by there Dad every month but if I stop them going he sends solicitors letters saying I'm keeping them away from him. I can't wait to get a job as I'm going to wipe the floor with him through the courts for non payment of money

yeah u can kaz but its a joke hun my ex doesnt bother with my son hes in arrears of over £1000 so they reduced his payment and made it up with arrears so he was paying the same but the arrears are coming down its comical they are supposed to support kids yet there never much help xx

joci hope ur feeling better soon hun i had a down day last week about my dad but just think hun ur marrying the man u love and thats the most important thing, im making most of my stuff to save on cost and i must say ive saved a fortune so far xxx

good luck hun hope all goes ok xx

Glad to hear this evening went well. I hope that has all lifted your spirits, sometimes when things get back you can lose sight of all the good and happy things.

Try to focus on the positive, you have lovely kids and a man now who loves you so much and wants to marry you and sounds like as long as he has his family and the basics in life he's happy and content.

Sorry I can't give any advice about the CSA as I have no experience of them but I've heard terrible reports about them.

Sending you a big virtual hug!

xxx

Thanks Dreamland, Elle my H2b has said I'm still to invite ALL his family even his mother and father as he wouldn't want anyone saying he never gave them a chance. If they decline then it's up to them. To be honest I don't think they deserve to sit at the top table and to even get F.O.G or M.O.G gifts as they've not even rang us since Feb to ask how things are going and if they could do anything to help.

Still feeling down, hope I wake up feeling more positive as I've finally got a job interview. It's not exactly the job I wanted to do but the only one that has replied to my 100's of CV's I've posted out. Fingers crossed X

I was like that at first, it took me weeks to get back into a routine of sleeping properly again. I think it was just my mind doing over time thinking of things I needed and had to sort out. Now before I go to bed I write a list of what I need to do the next day which seems to help. Try that and see if it works for you x x

oh dear so sorry your oh's family being such a pain, hope you get it all sorted and as ur oh said, if you invite them its up to them to decide wether they come or not, at the end of the day its yours and his day, as long as you have each other there then it will be a success!!!

on the case of your ex, go to your local citizens advice beauruea (sorry bout terrible spelling!) about getting him to pay as they can put you in contact with a solicitor that will work for free with legal aid for people on low incomes, my oh had to do that as 1. his ex won't let him see his kids and 2. the csa have worked in the oposite way for him! they take almost half his wages for his kids that he doesnt even see, and don't care that we then have very little money left over, however we can't do anything about that as the CSA are a law unto-themselves :( (lawyers words!), but try the CAB and see if you can get some help.

do you have any creative freinds that could take a bit of the weight off? if some ones good at flower aranging (or putting flowers in vases nicely) then maybe they could get flowers from a local supermarket (call in advance to order them, i no a green and yellow 'M' shop does that lol) and that could be their wedding present to you to do the table centres if you pay for flowers, which makes it ALOT cheaper than a florist, or someone to help on the day just for setting up, doing table layouts etc maybe? every little helps and im sure they will be flattered you asked them and jump at the chance to help!!!!

good luck with the job interview, hope you get it, and cheer up its the happiest day of yours and oh's life, you will have tears and tantrums before hand but keep in mind it will all come together eventually!!! xxxxxx big hugs xxxxx

Right first off get back in touch with the csa and play hell with them, my daughter had the same problem and now its sorted, as for your wedding you can get lots of bargains, you said you wanted £300 for suits my other half got his suit and shirt for £35 from the supermarket begining with a, also mat a lan have morning suit jackets and trousers for £55 they had dresses for flower girls and suits for boys they even have some pretty bm dresses for £35 to £45, you can save a fortune, if your stuck and cant find something then ask the ladies on here they are great at spoting bargains, as for his family they dont want to attend its there loss not yours, so smile and happy hunting xx

What a {insert preferred profanity here}!!!!
on the bright side, I bet your glad your ex is your ex! your H2B is right, as long as you have each other you'll be fine!