So my hen do is meant to be happening in two months and nothing has been planned. My friends have been asking me constantly what is happening and have had nothing to say. I've given my moh (who is my older sister) a gentle nudge about it several times and even spent a whole evening on the phone a couple of weeks ago looking at ideas. So I thought something would have been sorted but still nothing a week later and I was getting really restless.

I ended up saying I will just be doing it on my own to which she was like 'yeah that would be great'. But it is proving to be really hard to find something to suit everyone I would like to come. I wanted a spa day with a night out or just stay over at the spa place for a more chilled night. The main issue is that people have started making plans for that month already and just dont have the time to save up for it. None of them have been contacted about being invited to a hen even though moh asked for names and numbers about 6months ago. My moh does have an awful lot on at the moment, her partner is ill and work is busy but surely she should have at least contacted people ages ago to make sure they have time to save up. Also I am not going to ask people to pay for me but I thought the protocol is for the hens to chip in together for the bride? She of course has not asked them about this so looks like I will have to pay for it too.

I feel so let down and stressed as everything was going so smoothly as I have been so organised with planning the wedding. I was looking forward to letting off some steam for the hen but now I don't even feel like having one. Also moh has not ordered her dress yet and there's two months to go and she wants one custom made... I love my sister a lot and feel for her with what she is going through but I have loads on too, with uni assignments, applying for teacher jobs, driving test next week and I really don't think its fair that I have to sort my own hen when it should have been done months ago.

Sorry for the huge rant but I just need to vent as I wouldn't want to on fb and don't want to bore my friends any more with it. Any advice on what I should do?

Melissa
xxx

I really do feel for you, I had the same problem a few months back, Ive got a bridesmaid who wont do a great deal, I gave her all my friends details and addresses and numbers for her to sort a hen night out for me and up untill a month ago i had no hen night, I took it into my own hands. Got all the best men together and myself and h2b and come up with the ideas i had 'To have a joint hen/stag party'

If you want a hen party i really would plan what you would like to do, Ask your friends what they would like to do too. Our hen/stag due is costing £34 were having a cocktail master class and a meal and thats in with that price, Its not alot of money. We just asked each person for a £10 deposit to commit as we had to have a min of 8 people.

You could even ask your friends to help you, I had abit of help from one of my friends who isnt any part of my wedding shes just a guest.

Im sure us girls dont mind you having a rant! Sometimes its good to get things off your chest.

x

I have asked my MOH to plan mine and nothing has been put in lace yet she has til the end of this month or I am taking back control! I feel your pain so frustrating x

Ok I will admit I am disappointed not only in the fact that my sister did not come to me before Monday to say that her friends were asking her about her hen do, but also the fact that anyone, let alone someone you love could be so small minded as to think that you wouldn’t do anything but your best to help them for their big day. I have contributed a hell of a lot to your wedding preparations including sourcing your dress maker, cake maker (when the one you chose let you down), helping you with everything from trying on dresses and travelling for hundreds of miles to make sure you were not alone at those special times, to staying up til the small hours of the morning researching and discussing anything and everything with you. I even went out and bought a printer so you could print your invites.

I have spent many a night sat at this computer looking for a spa that would be right in terms of price and location etc. I can’t email your friends and ask them to keep an undisclosed amount of money available for an undisclosed date in July for your hen do, we need more info first. You could have very easily told them when they asked that you wanted to go to a spa for your hen and could/would they be able to afford that? You know how impossible it is to find a spa venue within the budget of most of your friends and I have spoken to you about a cocktail making class in your town that I’m sure most of your friends could afford at £25pp and would love to come to (I can’t imagine £25 would be impossible to save up in the next 6/8 weeks if they are true friends). I contacted the venue to get prices food details etc. You said that place smelt of alcohol when you last went so you didn’t want to go there!

I mean come on I think you’re asking a bit much… I have never gone out where you live so therefore don’t know where you like to go. We discussed on the phone that you would come up with some ideas of places to go out and I would sort out the details like t-shirts, sashes and other hen do props.

When you offered to sort out the hen do with your friend that lives near you I was grateful as I know how picky you can be and didn’t want to get it wrong for you. I think your friends are saying no to the spa because they don’t want to waste their money lying around all day in bathrobes and paying £100+pp for the privilege! You are also alienating your entire wedding party by wanting to go there as they can’t afford to come and you don’t seem to mind that you won’t be spending any time with your bridesmaids who are your other sisters! If you really wanted to go to a spa why didn’t you say and we could have gone just the two off us before the wedding for some r&r?! You make it sound like you were not getting any sort of hen do, well if your friends can’t spare one night out of one weekend in the next 8 weeks to come out with you for a couple of drinks I think maybe they are not such good friends after all?!

My OH developed a swollen brain five weeks ago and if I had not got the money together to get him a private MRI scan he could be dead by now and all you’re worried about is that you’re not going to a spa for your hen do?

You lot really should really grow up a bit and stop egging each other on to act like selfish little divas. I understand you have all spent a lot of time, effort and money on your big days but bear in mind that after that day you have the rest of your lives to live, and people will see you in a different light if you think you can treat them with such disregard and disrespect.

In regards to my custom made dress that I am paying for, the dress maker told me it will take 5 weeks and there are 9 weeks until your wedding, she did not need your OH ringing her giving her grief down the phone, the reason I didn’t order my dress sooner was a) I had to save up £190 for it and b) I was hoping to lose a couple of pounds. Do not for one second think I am trying to manipulate you in anyway as I have nothing to gain from any of this but YOUR happiness, if you think I could have done more whilst everything else that has been going on in my life then that’s your opinion but I am happy in the knowledge that I have done my very best for you and far better than most moh’s.

You also forgot to mention in that rant that the Monday night you spoke to me about your hen do I had just had a problem with my OH due to his illness and had to call his parents round to help calm him down and let me back in my front room! Your hen do probably wasn’t top of my priorities that week maybe I just wanted him seen by a doctor and the MRI done and keep everything normal for our son whilst working full time and fulfilling the rest of my many responsibilities?! Enough said.

im confused too hmm hope everyting gets sorted out for both of you x

hey mel, my moh is brilliant...but she does need a gentle nudge sometimes lol

i have started a fb group and invited everyone i want to join it. i have main myself and moh admin and it means we can all discuss the hen night

Hope you work it out girls I feel for you both xx

ladies i think this should be done in private, u obvs have issues and should be sorted face to face and not via a computer screen, i feel its disrespectful to the both of you, good luck in sorting everything out x

xxx :)

i am leaving it to my friends to do my hen part and sister i would be a little disapointed if they had not organised anything and every one was ringing me , but i can amgine it would be stressful to arrange as well , keep your chin up hunni xx