So we have finally ordered the invites with almost 3 months to go... H2b been dragging his heels and there have been major arguments. My parents are paying the major reception costs and so want the invites to come from them and RSVPS to go to them (they live 200 miles away). Obv this was a problem for us as we wanted to open them and it also obv hurt his male pride too. So it all came to a head again last night because I have been nagging him about the invites and I am stuck in the middle - h2b on one hand who I agree with, parents who will withdraw all funds and prob not speak to me on the other. After shutting myself in the bathroom crying following an argument he said just order them at about 11pm last night after I tossed and turned for an hour. Now tonight he asked me if I ordered, I said yes and I am barely being spoken to! This wedding is a nightmare!
CommentAuthorErinV
Oh dear that's awful. I understand why its so hard for you, of course your stucvk in their middle. Surely h2b has to understand that your parents wanted them to go from them and the fact they are paying for a lot would impact on things, but could they not have compromised and let the RSVPs go to you instead?!
Nevermind what's done is done and he did tell you to go ahead and order them last night so what would he expect you to do! Don't sweat it hun, he'll just have to suck it up and move on, it had to be done and he told you to do it. Hopefully it will get better and he'll relax and speak to you properly soon
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I agree with the above post, I do think your parents are being a bit unreasonable not letting you have the R.S.V.P's go to you, why not have the invites go to them but then the R.S.V.P's go to you as it is something for you to get excited about....
But your fiancé did tell you to order them and at the end of the day invites are a very silly thing to be falling out over in the grand scheme of things, I hope he comes round soon hun.
Oh and look on the bright side of it, yes you don't get the excitement of opening all your R.S.V.P's.... but, you also don't get all the stress that comes with them as well ;)
CommentAuthorShowgirl
He really needs to get over it - he wouldn't sulk if your parents bought him a Christmas gift that he really wanted and that's what this is, its a gift. How are the invitations worded? My Mum had been insisting that the invites should come from them because traditionally its the brides parents who host the wedding (although they're actually splitting the bill with OH's parents). In the end we went with Showgirl and OH 'together with their familes'... which seemed to make all sides happy. Are the RSVPs going to your parents or have you managed to persuade them that you should get them since you need them ASAP to draw up the table plan etc?
CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
Thanks ladies :) Showgirl I left it that they get the RSVPS, mum said she will save them all in a box for me and whenever we are home I can bring some back. Its so hard pleasing everyone! It brings out the worst in everyone.
Well at least you get to be the one who opens them. Hope things get better at home.
CommentAuthorkittyh
its traditional for the brides parents to be on the invite...my fiance's dad is making our invites but they are still coming from my parents (who are paying for the reception) explain to him that nobody will think anything of it when they get the invites because its normal for it to be like that...its only in recent years that this has changed...so his ego shouldn't feel bruised!
as for your mum getting the RSVPs theres no way I would have allowed that if I had been in the county they would have been coming to me as its me who has to do the seating plan, organise anyone who gets moved up from day to evening etc...i think its a bit unnecessary especially as she doesn't just live round the corner but thats just me...
im sure he will get over it :)
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I imagine once you get hold of the first RSVPs he'll probably feel better about it. Some people might not reply by post anyway, a number of ours have emailed or messaged us or told us in person.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
It does open the way for your parents to chase up any who don't respond, and by that stage you might be glad of their help.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorVelcro
id be abit gutted if my rsvps didn't come to me, as its exciting when they come through the door!
I cant believe they'd withdraw funds over it though, that's SO unfair
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
Well I wont get to open them first- mum will open and I hope do the chasing but I reckon I will be made to do that! And then save them all for me to bring back to show Chris. I was told if you can afford to pay for the wedding then by all means you send the invites from you.......
CommentAuthorVelcro
We don't want anything off his parents because of how they are being. We were offered money but they can cram it up their backsides as far as I'm concerned. Weddings bring out the worst in people ):<
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorclairenina
It irritates me that parents (or people who help financially) towards the wedding feel they then have a say in what's-what. If people help financially, it should just be out of kindness, and not control.
CommentAuthorElaineH41
We sent our invites from us but added the bit about and their parents. Both sets of parents contributed to the wedding, however I made it absolutely clear from the offset that it was our day and up to me and hubby to chose what did or didnt happen, that we would not be accepting any money from either set of parents if it was coming with any conditions. I did this upfront to make sure we were in control of what happened and by and large we were. Sorry to hear your having problems like this and feeling stuck in the middle, hope it resolbes itself soon.
CommentAuthorVelcro
that's exactly the issue we were having clairenina, as stupid as it is, id rather get into debt with a credit card, than be indebted to them. they have made me FURIOUS. Even h2b is starting to crack and hes proper laid back, he said hes sick of the constant sniping and other than the one thing they agreed to pay for 2 yrs ago, he wants NOTHING else, we ended up with WAY more guests than we wanted because of them as well, which they are definitely coughing up for, it was getting out of control though, she wanted a say on centre pieces and got the hump when I said no, invited all these extra people (which sadly we cant really uninvited now) wants a say in bridesmaid dresses and suits and has moaned at all our ideas. hence politely telling them to shove it lol
on our invites we just put 'together with their families me and him invite' etc. id honestly hit the roof if they insisted on receiving them all. she didn't even want me to write them out because of my handwriting. im sorry, but as unruly as my handwriting is, id rather look at them in years time and see MY writing on there and not someone elses
ughhhh sorry. its still a sore subject for me this haha
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorFranM76
Wow - unbelievable how people can be. Why would any parent (whether they contribute financially or not) want to ruin the wedding plans of their son/daughter and partner. We are so lucky in that no parent has even mentioned having any control over anything - my mum even asked if we were thinking of inviting her partner!?!?!? Jesus, of course we are! I hope you can sort it out - it must be very stressful xx
