My mil2b is doing our wedding flowers and decoration for us as a wedding present which is really lovely and has saved us a lot of our budget, but i cant help feeling left out and a little annoyed!
I didnt know exactly what she would be doing, but we did go through ideas such as the colour scheme and theme which is butterflies etc, so after that discussion she has gone ahead and ordered our flowers, which are fake foam/silk and they are nice. Since then i didnt hear much about it, and i started worrying about things such as table decoration etc as i wasnt sure if she was doing any of that. My friends have been asking me what im having on my tables etc and i keep replying i dont know yet, so pressure building i bought some ivory wooden table numbers for the tables and some little glass vases for the centre pieces. Anyway she told my partner that i shouldnt have done and to go round and see what she has, so i visited today and she has shown me what she has bought so far, which again is lovely, but i now dont need my vases or table numbers and she has said that b decoration she means shes doing it all! Which is great and i know it will look lovely, but i feel quite down about not choosing the decor and she did get very angry with me earlier saying that she didnt want to tell me anything yet cos she hasnt bought it all and that she wanted most to be a surprise, so it did upset me a bit cos she took it as a critisism that i was buying stuff and not wanting what she had, when all i was doing was getting what i thought i needed and i didnt know how much she was going to get. It was horrible sitting there listening to her saying how im being difficult and this is how she does things (she has done flowers and decor for a lot of weddings in the past and was a little business for her) and she kept going on about how she wants ppl to see how lovely it is and go wow, and that she wants her wedding to look like its royalty!
I know she means well, and shes doing us a huge favour and she is decorating it really nicely, that im not complaining about, but hearing how she calls it her wedding and that im not seeing anything until shes bought it, which makes me feel like i cant say i dont like it, makes me feel a bit sad that im not the one going to these shops and choosing these things etc
I feel a bit like im on dont tell the bride, and i will just turn up on the day and see what surprises are there! It might be nice for some but i just feel put out and sad how she has spoken to me and the lack of involvement i have atm
sorry girls, just had to get this off my chest!
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Maybe have a chat with her hun and explain to her that it is YOUR wedding and whilst you really appreciate what she is doing you'd appreciate it if you were consulted on everything before she does and orders anything as you want things your way and don't want any bad surprises.
xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorTsukijin
Just tell her - ( in the nice way) thanks for helping with x,y and z, we are really really grateful, could you keep me up to date on what ideas you have to make sure They go with the theme? Or i don't want you to spend unneccesarily and I could show you where to find what you're looking for at a better price!
Or my way lol
[[[[[[[[[ I dont like surprises so show me what you are buying in case I don't like it because you pick hideous things and is MY wedding, the one day where everything should be perfect for ME and if you buy something awful it will go in that bin bag with the rest of the tat you have offloaded on me over the years]]]]]]]]
*DISCLAIMER* probably best not to say that part, i don't have a great track record with inlaws lol
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
i did try to say that earlier today, but she just told me to hear her out first. She did apologise for being aggressive but i still feel like shes forgetting its my big day, and although she wants it to be special etc its still my wedding and she needs to listen to me sometimes and not just take over! i didnt want to say its MY wedding cos i thought at the time it would cause a huge arguement, so im hoping after our chat she will consult me more first, rather than just going ahead and i can feel more of a part of my day than sitting on the sidelines! x
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorJill
Oh dear :( it sounds like she means well but is getting totally carried away with it. I'm had an issue with my mil2b over the last week. She called to talk to me about long lost relatives that hadnt been invited (that h2b doesnt even speak to) then when I went to respond she cut in with 'well I'm not happy'. She was quickly put in her place and she couldnt get off the phone quick enough after. She was also overheard saying 'he (h2b) is going to end up getting drunk and spoiling my day'... HER DAY! lol. I'm still amazed that they words came out of her mouth! People get so carried away when weddings are involved, they just need to be reminded who's day it is x
Some neurotic mil's have a tendency to try to take over and make things about them at important events. Your wedding is One time Your first child is the other.
Some.
I bet now you have mentioned your fears in conversation she will back down a bit and do as you ask. I hope so.
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
lol Tsukijin i soo felt like saying that, but cant bring myself to do it lol
i know she will pick nice things, so thats not really a worry, in fact she thinks that i will prob ruin it with my ideas and things i have in mind like the mr and mrs words in wood etc its like a hairdresser telling you what would suit ur face shape, u know they are right, but u would rather be told in a roundabout way, which made u feel like u were picking the style and were happy with it first, rather than them cutting ur hair and saying 'there that suits you, what do u think?!' if you know what i mean!
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
Jill sounds like we have the same problem! its rather annoying to hear your mother in law saying 'my wedding' isnt it! lol
As the beatles say, Love Is All You Need x
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
I wouldn't be happy with that at all, talk about taking over!!! My mil2b is more interested in the dress she's having specially made for the day than anything else so I'm letting her get on with that so she keeps her nose out. She actually phoned me the other day fretting about the weather next year because if it's raining then her dress won't work! What the heck, like I give a hoot if her dress works or not, I have a bit more on my plate than that. It's just mils2b, they can't help themselves they just know best regardless of our feelings.
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
