I'm feeing hugely out of my depth atm and can't pinpoint which part of the whole getting married/organising the wedding is getting me down - so far I've come to a problem, posted on here and so many of you lovely ladie, and the occasional gent :) have helped me out and given me some great advice and tips. I know I would have gone stir crazy without you all.... I just feel like I am completly stuck in a rut at the moment.
I'm 20 years old (I've always declared that my age isn't an issue with deciding to get married - but right now I'm not feeling so confident) I'm the oldest of my siblings and have always been older in my head - of course I let my hair down every now and again but truthfully I have always found security in acting mature and being responsible. My h2b is 22 going on 40, loosing his hair, preferring a night in with me and bottle of wine than going out and he has always been this way in the whole 4 years I've known him. Even he shocks himself when he remembers how young we really are, he's admitted he doesn't like rembering that I am 2 years younger than him - which doesn't sound alot now, but it was when we first started dating when I was newly 16 and he 18.
I'm rambling I apologise, where we are right now is he is graduating this summer, whilst I (after having repeated a year at Alevels) am only just finishing my first of my 3 years at Uni. We have both agreed we don't want a long engagement and other than needing time to save up money, as we are moving in together this christmas, we don't have any reason not to get married next year. We have both sides of out families supporting our decision, he is half Italian and his Italian side are very traditional (there was an incident in the local rainbow shop where his Italian grandparents told me off - quiete loudly I add - for dragging their eldest grandson to hell, after they found out we had spent nights togther) but decideding to get married and actually planning it and making it happen feels like two different things!!
As he graduates soon, he is too busy and absent so we can't go to all the venues together, on more than one occasion I've felt like I've made a breakthrough witht he planning: location, date, colour scheme ect to have an evening phonecall from him pointing out the flaws in my plans - which is always very hurtful, becuase even though I know it's not his fault that he doesn't have the time to help me plan, I am doing most of this on my own.
I don't know what to do, normally when I am unsure about something I turn to him, but he is so busy. I've boaght a scrap book and am putting together all of my ideas and all the facst and figures I've collected and found out so I can present him with them and we can have a real face ot face discussion if he manages to come home next weekend, about what we like, don't like, can't afford ect. The truth is neither of us want a big wedding, my parents eloped and despite he being broaght up catholic my h2b is not very religious - but our desire for a runaway wedding was dashed by his family declaring that as the eldest male grandson it would be an active insult if we didn't host a wedding and allow his relatives to celebrate his wedding - of course my family want to be there too but they are much more leniant wanting us to do what makes us happy :/
I just keep feeling like after every inquery I am back at square one again! How can I stop this whole wedding planning from getting the best of me? How can I keep afloat? Any advise from you wonderful people will be much appreciated :( Jess xx
CommentAuthorHonest John!
Hi if the runaway wedding is really what you both want, go for it! It is very unfair on his family to put such pressure on you, as if you had a party on your return, there would still be a celebration. If you are conviced you want a UK wedding, I would seriously leave your wedding planning until after his graduation. It seem that you are becoming demoralised, and he may be feeling left out and under pressure. May be focus on the parts of the wedding that he would not tradionally be involved in like your dress etc, because it won't be long until he graduates. You have more than enough time, to plan your wedding, so try not to worry.
CommentAuthorjessrabbit
Thanks HonestJohn, I feel so much of a let down because he has asked me to sort out venues and dates becuase he trusts my organising abilities... but yes last night he definatly sounded left out and thats the last thing I want :( xx
CommentAuthorHonest John!
You must not feel like a let down!!!! I am in the same situation as yourself in that I have been looking at venues as my w2b is very unwell. Our plan was for me to do the research and then from that information and website information we will go to see our favourite venues together. It has been difficult as I want Jill to be with me and of course she wants to come too but needs must! Ideally we would want to do the planning together which is why I suggested you wait a little longer so you both have full input together as from my experience that is what we would have done if we had that option. Putting ideas in a digital scrapbook or otherwise of colour schemes etc is a great idea as you will have done some of the leg work to keep you busy.
