Hi all , Right firstly I know it's early days of planning as we got engaged last July and planning July 2015 wedding . He has come to a few wedding fayres together and viewed a number of venues but no choice given yet and this is where it's starting to annoy me , I have made all viewing plans and phoned around and he complained we saw too many at once , we did see 6 in one weekend which yes is loads but due to him being a mad footy fan weekends are limited and that's before other social stuff is added . I said to him maybe best if he rings next lot and arrange viewings and can anyone guess how many he's done ...... Zero . We have had a few things on recently so did give some allowance but when I mentioned it today he moaned I should do it which now I'm refusing to do as I'm sick of doing everything for the wedding ! Even though it's 18 ish months away he knows we need to book soon as most venues in area are nearly full for the month we want and I don't want to settle for just anywhere due to us not getting in 1st .
Anyone else had a lazy H2B planning wise ?
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorVickyB70
It's just a man thing! It's nothing unusual it's just one of those things that us girls have to accept unlike us ladies they haven't been planning their wedding day since they were 5! I learnt to accept it and in a way it's quite good because I get to make all the decisions! Just try not to let it wind you up else you'll drive yourself mad and won't enjoy the planning x
CommentAuthorVelcro
Tom has only just pulled his finger out and we've had the date set since January, give him time he'll take an interest. In boy logic, theres aaaages to go. They just dont seem to realise what needs done lol
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
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CommentAuthormiss_finch
i agree it is a man thing!!!! My Matthew does nothing!!!! I say, Matt can we have this? He says ye if you really want it!!! He is so laid back, he is almost lying down! I chose our venue, took him to look around and he liked it so I booked it! he didnt even come with me to meet the photographer!!! I quite like it actually, there is no arguing or stressing with each other, plus I get what i want lol xx
The future Mrs Conroy September 2016
Vicky and Matthew 4th June 2011
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CommentAuthorStephanieM71
Mines the same - thinks we have ages so no point in booking things yet - it does drive me a bit nuts. His idea was to save until January 2015 then just go and book everything!! i think he would love it if it was like don't tell the bride lol
My OH is really good atm. But he was only really going along with everything and that was after I set down all the things that needed to be done, showed him the buget, a timeline, and pointed out piece by piece every item and the time by which they are normally booked, and all of our committment already.... and basically had a bit of a panic about everything that needed doing, and even then it was really me booking and organising and him coming along. But with a month to go he's become amazing. So I guess what I'm saying is, hang in there and at the last minute he'll pull through and be brilliant. But otherwise I probably wouldn't hold your breath. I think of it like Christmas, that's every year and he does that the day before if possible, so the fact that he's managed to think a whole month ahead for the wedding is brilliant lol
CommentAuthorKatya
My H2B has always been the same, except with the rings... the rings i was happy to settle with at around £200 for both... we looked all over loads of different counties & he still didnt find anything he liked, we ended up with rings for over £1000 for the set, however, he designed them, making them so much more special!
I chose colour scheme straight away, it was easy.... he likes black, i like red... colour scheme sorted! I got my dress & after paying that off we went looking for rings.... this took MONTHS!
Then i started doing prototypes for the invites, he had no clue so i held my favourite 2 up & forced him to pick one! (luckily he picked my favourite! My Mum took a look and adjusted them slightly (shes better at card making than me so the plan was for her to do them), she made all the silver hearts to go on the invites but then something happened & now she is unable to make them, mainly because i dont know where she is due to the something that happened. So i have ended up making them, they turned out quite good tho... I showed him a picture of a guest book i liked & he like it too (or at least he didnt say he disliked it) so i ordered it.
Ive told him for the ceremony, photos, & meal he has to wear a tie... so i bought the ties (he hates being all dressed up... he will even be wearing a pair of doc martins & a black shirt! So he has no choice in that... i hope he gets ready with someone who knows how to tie a tie!
My BM's & I chose their outfits, tho the dresses were plain, whilst trying them on upstairs he popped up for a wee & his opinion was requested from my girls asking if he thinks the dresses look better with a ribbon belt or without, so he had say in detailing on their dresses only cos he knew he had to give his opinion for fear of not being let into the toilet room otherwise...hehe...
He wants to have his name double-barrelled like our kids so we have agreed that he changes his name to theirs before the wedding then i will take his name so we are all sharing a name.... this is what we decided before we named our first child.
He wants a BBQ, I want a sit down meal, so we are compromising & going for a buffet. We went to a few wedding fairs & chose the flavour of cake we wanted, the original plan was to have the particular baker we met do it, but its looking like we cant afford it so i will making the cake myself, which means he doesnt get any say in the decor of it cos im not a great baker anyway, altho he does like my tester cakes (i do one for birthdays & if i fancy cake lol).
We want an old building as venue, viewing old buildings is just something we are into, so are looking at our local masonic hall for cost, location & age... but this means a registry office... which we are both ok with considering the distance from the hall.
We are both thinking about using an ipod as the only entertainment he wants is "pink flloyd" at the reception.... this is not going to happen... so he will have to settle with an ipod or dj.
Everything else has been completely down to me, & if me & BM's hadnt threatened him for his opinion, he wouldnt of had any say in anything other than the rings!
hang in there! It will all be worth it in the end!
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Hey ,
Thanks for replies all I ended up sitting him down as I could feel myself getting more annoyed if I didn't say anything . He said he could tell I was annoyed all yesterday and last night got contact details and was going to phone today , I thanked him but said I knew he wouldn't of done it if I hadn't of nagged I told him how I felt and he explained how it's all early days for him and he not sure what to do even though I do tell him it's more hearing and doing is different .
I can see it happening again and thank goodness there is this site to rant to and see I'm not being crazy lol
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorBride of Frank
I have posted a similar post in the past because as everyone has said it is a man thing and mine is no exception. We only actually viewed 3 venues before making a decision and he made it clear he wasn't over thrilled about having to take the time out to do that, so the fact that you got your OH to view 6 in one weekend is pretty impressive if you ask me ;) Unfortunately its been like this every step of the way with me as even though its less than 7 months away he still thinks we have loads of time! So to remain sane I am still furiously planning away but not really consulting him anymore, that is until it comes time to actually deal with each particular detail, then I just run my carefully planned list of ideas out and ask him to say which he prefers, so far this method seems to be working for us, as I feel like I'm on top of things and he gets to forget about it till its necessary for him to give an opinion. If I was in your shoes now, I would work through the pros and cons of each of the venues before contacting them to see if you can whittle the list down, then I'd ring them all myself to arrange the viewings then just involve OH when it comes to actual making the viewing. Yes I know it doesn't seem very fair on both him and you but it would probably make things seem less stressful :)
CommentAuthorMrs C to be!
I think its a male thing hun, my fiancé, says he wanted to help and get involved, he came to a few fayres, helped pick the venue, and not much else, my colour scheme comes from my sash belt on my dress, and hes happy with it, he said he wanted to sort entertainment, I was pleased as I couldn't find anything we could agree on within our budget, and I didn't want to go over, so for my sins, I suggested he sort, it took him 7 months, to finally find and book a band..... 7 months of nagging, and asking have you done this yet (as he wanted to do it)... we still have the suits to sort. and the rings, otherwise all is done. he wants to be involved in the decision making as such, but not doing anything about it. so I don't think you are alone
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I is a man thing, there are a few guys who really get stuck in but most are just chilled out and relaxed about their wedding so appear to be disinterested. Don't take it the wrong way.
Maybe ask him to commit to getting the venue booked then he can have a break from wedding planning and let you have all the fun for a while. The things my husband was most interested in getting right (in his opinion) were the reception venue (luckily we both totally agreed on the same thing as we both wanted exactly the same), then the cars and cake he kinda took over leaving me looking chilled out a few months later. With guys sometimes you have to pick your moments and the things that he's likely to really have an opinion on xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Thanks again all . The funny thing is he is as fussy as me with the venue as we want something different and not places where you could be the same wedding as everyone else ! We have shortlisted a few and if these don't work out well Wales doesn't have enough options lol
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I bet you've got some stunning venues there hun.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Where I live there are gorgeous views and areas but it's like the venues are just outside the amazing zones or the ones which are within the areas everyone and their dog has married there lol
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Lol, I felt like that with all the wedding venues near our little town, good job we decided to get married where I am originally from, a 45 minute drive round the M25 where none of his or my friends had got married but it was the same church my parents got married in.
My sister was a bridesmaid for a friend of hers who got married in Wales but I can't remember the name of the venue, the pictures looked lovely xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Think problem is as well we have chosen cathedral for ceremony which is close to where we live so really venue would need to be max 30-45 min drive away . We have been to some venues which when we have been to other weddings we have thought oh nice but when it's actually our day you notice how the place isn't for us lol
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Ooh a cathedral sounds lovely. I know what you mean about liking other people's wedding venues but not for you xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMelissaLarner2b
Yep deffo a man thing although I managed to get hubby2b to help me choose some music today!! :)
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
We have one venue to see which I'm hoping we will like however it might be a bit too different for my fiancé as it's in the waterfront museum in Swansea . It would mean we could stop at places including the beach for pictures and only 10min from cathedral and close to centre of town for people who are staying in hotels. Just need him to book viewing !!
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Well done Melissa !
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorMelissaLarner2b
Lol thanks but believe me the moment he was able to get himself distracted he was gone! Lol. We've only got 7 months to go on Tuesday and i keep reminding him that I want everything done with at least a month left where we can just sit back and relax (if that's possible!!) so really I'd like it all sorted in 6 months!!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
That sounds really nice.
Lol Melissa, well done, I only managed to make suggestions and get agreement from hubby xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Ha sounds you are like me trying to get H2B to do stuff .... Short span attention
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
its definitely just a man thing! what i have tried to do is narrow things down so he has less to choose from. i booked 4 venue appointments in space of a week and he came to them all. once that was done he has left me all to it, i just get final confirmation from him that he likes something.
i find that the closer we get to the wedding the better he has become. over past month or so he has asked if he can be involved in doing the invites and offering to help me with stationary instead of playing on the xbox once or twice too. dont get me wrong he still moans when he doesnt like what hes doing but he helps. i think men tend to see the wedding as being really far off and have the 'why are you doing that now cant you do it later?' attitude. im sure things will get better.
maybe go and visit some venues with MOH or your parents and then narrow it down to a few that you like and take him along to make final decision? x
CommentAuthorMrsMaherToBe
i think its just men. mine told me he doesnt want to hear about it until the day and that i can do what i want within reason. i told him its up to him to sort the church and mens suits but luckily we have a little while yet before i have to give him a nudge in the right direction. at least he has had a look at the venues with you. he may get better the nearer your wedding gets x
2009 met my boy.
2011 had our baby girl.
2013 had our baby boy.
2016 we'll live happily ever after.
CommentAuthorLauraK7
I completely understand this too my H2B just says he doesn't mind what we do and how it's done and is just happy former to do/arrange it all but I least I know I'll get my own way :-)
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
I understand hun cos mine is the same but i think you should just take it as a positive, take the bull by the horns and book whichever things you like cos men really just dont mind!! lol xx
CommentAuthorSusie
I think sometimes It is a man thing. Mine has been fairly good, proactive etc...at least it has seemed that way. I have one week before we head off to go on holiday - and go via the east coast close to his side of the family, and I have been asking for about three weeks now for his list of family who we are giving out save the dates to. Ive been asking for him to have a think, write all the names down, get correct spellings etc, so that when we go down country, we can just give them out and have a ready made list for the invites. He hasnt done this yet. He has been warned I wont be best pleased should he leave this to the last minute (ie a week tonight) and its not exactly something I can do FOR him!!
So blah. Yes, I think it is a man thing. Silly infuriating men. Grr! lol
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
The funny thing is H2B wants to be involved 100% with venue and even suggested keeping our final choice a secret until invite time but it's just when he has to do the calls I swear I was asking him to climb a tree and ask the birds to call instead !
He has mentioned he has left answerphone messages for other venues so looks like kicking him up the you know what worked !
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorLauraK7
Haha glad you are getting somewhere with it x
CommentAuthorAmyK
you could always look at it as a blessing in disguise - narrow it down to a couple of choices that YOU want, then ask him to pick. That way, you don't get (here comes the bloke thing again) him making stupid suggestions all because he searched 'wedding venues' and saw a Y0utub3 clip of something stupid and he wants to do the same!!
...or is that just my fella?? Lol!
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Ha think that maybe just your fella Amy lol
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
My other half is really hands on with everything, He has some epic ideas about our wedding and is really excited! I must admit reading the part about the footy mad on weekends thing is really bad. its your wedding.. Most guys that i know let there other half get on with it. I've done a lot of leg work but he has some brill ideas and is organising exeter cathedral where we are getting married so he has a massive part to do, and best things is he doesn't need reminding :) xx
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
its a H2B thing I have set task fro H2B to do and he has to do or I will be organising the whole wedding myself but I've got his opinion on things hes basically chosen the wedding cake and the baker so he is helping out a bit at a time I wrote one of these threads before and the lovely ladies told me too wait he will come round 2016 is forever away for your fiance nearer the time he will become hands on till then i gotta keep myself busy with wedding things till then and plan our wedding with him in mind we cant really do any planning till Oct 2014 so I got a while to wait but once everything starts coming together I will be over the moon =D <3 X
Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college
Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together
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CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
I think the problem we have is we have found place for ceremony which is our local cathedral but I am fed up of trying to find venue for reception . The funny thing is we live in a lovely part of the country have loads of beaches and views are amazing but it's like everywhere is a bit blah and as much as they are ok for others it's not for us and don't want to be somewhere where it will be like any old wedding just different bride and groom . I think due to frustration the main thing isn't him ringing around places but just for us to find somewhere
I thought the dress part would be the hardest bit lol
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Mine was a nightmare. I done our wedding myself as well, all I said to him was that he had to sort out his suit and the other groomsmen, and even when he went in to just look when I was with him, it was me that ended up organising it all as he was useless. I used to ask him about things and his opinion before going ahead, and I would get whatever, do what you want. Then if I never asked him and went ahead thinking he would be happy with the plan, I would get, oh do I not have a say???????? GRRRR!!!
