I know that this might come across as really selfish etc but i just feel like crying!!

before we booked anything my parents offered to give us some money towards the wedding which meant that we could actually afford to book things and get the ball rolling!! since then they have given us a tiny bit and then nothing and have said "is the reason you booked because we said we would give you that money?" which im worried means that they cant give us any more which i can understand about but also am really worried now as we paid the deposit which means that we will lose £500 if we cancel but i know that if we go ahead then we will lose more if we cant pay for it nearer the time! Ry is going crazy with worry and he is really angry that they said they would give us this money and are now backing out! it is causing major arguments between us but i dont want to speak to my parents at the minute as my mum is off sick with serious depression and i dont want to make her worse!

Also what annoys me is that when we were first booking we decided on the fri as it was £500 cheaper and his mum had said that if we really wanted the sat she would give us the extra for it, ry said he would rather out the money towards a honeymoon somewhere which i agreed with 100% but now he saying that she never said it or that she said she would speak to his stepdad so im kinda feeling let down by everyone and i know it seems really selfish as we never really expected anything and were gona pay for ourselves but this money meant that we could go for somewhere that we really wanted but could never have afforded otherwise! xx i really dont know what to do!!

sorry for the long post and the rant but i just needed to get it all out before another argument about it all!!

Have your parents actually said they can't give you that money? Because from what you have written it doesn't sound like they have. It looks like you are reading into something that might have been a harmless question. They may have just been wanting to know when you would need it by?
As for his mum she said she would give you the extra £500 to have it on the saturday, not to go towards your honeymoon (again just taking this from what you have written) in which case she never promised you £500 to spend on it.
I think you need to sit down with both parents and work out what is actually going on. All you are doing now is worrying yourself over something that may not even happen. If they do turn around and say they cant afford to give what they said they would, then look at postponing or trying to save money somewhere else in order to afford it.
I'm sorry if what I have said has upset you or isn't what you wanted to hear but I think you need to get actual facts before getting worked up about 'ifs' and 'buts'. I hope you get it sorted xxxx

Thanks ladies with respect to my parents they haven't said they can't give us the money but at same time they been saying they can't afford this n that and they are getting a mobility car now instead of later which probably has something to do with it as well and I know I need to sit down with my parents but I'm worried that I will make my mum worse and add to her anxiety which I really don't want to do!! I will have to find the best time to sit down with them and talk about it!
Again thanks ladies xx

We have the same problem with my dad, he always offers and then takes it back at the last minute so everything he has said he will buy we have still included in our total price so that if he does let us down we won't be stuck for cash. I know it's hard but instead of panicking why don't you try and make yourself a game plan so that if they can't give you what they said they could you are covered. x

I feel for you Hun as this is one stress you don't need. As your parents haven't said that they can't give you the money it might be worthwhile having a chat with them rather than upset yourself for nothing.

It's really difficult in these situations, my mum and dad originally said they would cover the cost of the venue as its paid in sections but due to personal situations I.e. dad being off work following a serious illness I've had to pay this cost instead, my mums been saving what she can, and when push comes to shove its a case of all chip in what we can :)
I hope you get it sorted with them I'm sure you will x

Thank you ladies xx i need to speak to them it just finding the right time!! My nan is also helping us but she is having problems at the min too as my aunty (who still lives at home) has also been having money problems with work etc so it just feels all up in the air! x still i will keep you all informed of how we get on if you want? x I have worked out how much everything is going to cost and am thinking if i forget the whole transport thing then we will save £350 and if i try other things too though not sure what else haha x
still thank you everyone for the support xxxx

yeah i think we will have a chat about that but at the same time i would feel really bad as my aunty (the one with the two bridesmaids) has had to postpone their holiday they had it booked and moved the date already :( still it will all work out! I will have a chat with them now! xx

:-) I agree when everything is out in the open its amazing how much relief there can be x

My parents can't make as big a contribution as we'd originally thought and like you the first thing I dropped was the wedding cars. It was going to cost £700 and I wasn't that bothered about it. My wedding ring belonged to my nanny so that's saved us the cost of my ring. My uncle and cousin are pro photographers so they are doing our pics at least another £700 saved ( that was our lowest quote). I saved £600 on my dress by choosing one that they had in stock ( that was an accident). I got £250 knocked off my venue by writing a nice review on trip advisor. After all those savings I'm looking for more as its addictive finding bargains. I'm sure you'll be able to cut costs if need be.

i never though of that shirleygirly writing a review hmmm might try that although to be honest they did do us the room hire for free cos it was the friday so might not x I keep saying to ryan about cutting down on guest lists but he not having any of it! and we getting married at dinner time so everyone will be hungry and then the evening people might not get anything although i might ask if we can add to what they having as a bacon or pork butty and chips isnt worth £12.95pp!! although we have decided to account for 70% of evening guest not the 90% they said to cos that would have meant we had to pay for 90 people!! stupid!! still will have a good look around!! I have seen some great bm dresses on ebay (well a friend found me em as im not good at bargain hunting!) which are great!! I already have my dress, the cake is being made by a friend who is great at them! the flowers are being done at cost price only by rys aunty who was a florist so that saving loads i think and it just mainly the photographer and the suits that are costing loads! trying to find cheap suits but the hiring is £79 each complete! xx but still looking for bargains!

thank you all though and i forgot i had a chat with them last night and they arent sure how much they can give us at this moment in time as my mum isnt working she off sick still with the anxiety (it really bad) and my dad cant work as he has a seriously bad back! so just waiting now! x have decided that im just gona plan as though they cant give us anything and if they do then it brill! and a bonus! xx

thank you all for your support xxx

it ry that the problem he doesnt want to cut down on the day list as he feels that there will be hardly anyone there and the room we got will look stupid with hardly anyone in it! (We have a bigger room for disabled access for a few members of the family,

although saying that we have only got immediate family and extremely close friends that are more like family anyway.

still im trying to sit down with him and sort it out properly!! x

Take a look at my venue pics you will see an aerial view and shots of the tables. My 2 ballrooms look small in the pics but they are much bigger. Behind where the camera is, there is space for a dance floor.

I don't think it would be awful hun. And if you feel bad about it then you could ask them to put it towards them as a loan instead and then give them the money back after the wedding? Would this be an option with some close family members or friends for the meal too if money gets really tight? I know if my friend or family asked me to pay for my own meal for the day and then they would pay me back after the day that I would be fine with it xxx

thanks for the ideas ill be 36 one of our friends is supposed to be doing the cake for us as a present but ry told me last night that him and his best man are no longer friends so i dont know if she can do it if not then i will see about a supermarket for it only problem is that it has to be gluten free :( still will work around that if necessary and get my grandad a cake of his own! rys aunty is doing the flowers for us as a present although we have to pay cost price which im not sure what it will be!! need to contact her as she not been in touch since! we having a cash bar we only paying for the toast and arrival drink which is in with the package it all a set price! so we get a 3 course meal, chair covers, 2 drinks, chair sashes, table decs and centrepieces and we also get complimentary sweet and popcorn buffet plus post box too so it not too bad. (Even if it is a lot pp but it still works out the same as others if you add it all up together) our photographer is the cheapest we can find although he is really good at the same time and we just having photos on a dvd that we can print from ourselves. im making invites myself with a little help from a friend who is fab at it! We are going to ask for money instead of gifts but i know that people will still give us the gifts instead as some of them dont like giving money! we have a friend doing the entertainment for us he given us a good discount and is also doing the dj part too which is nice.

Also on a different part i was speaking to my dad again a couple of days ago about his uncle and he said if i want them their but cant afford them then they will pay for them but i didnt know what to say because one i dont know if i want them their but on the other hand they cant even afford to help with the other bits so how will they be able to add the extra money for these two people?? grr it all getting ridiculous again and going round and round in circles! :'(

anyway sorry for the rant and i will keep looking for cost cutting bits xx thank you all so much xxx