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  1.  
    • AlisonM36
      CommentAuthorAlisonM36
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    Just want to hear your opinions girlies...
    Our wedding is in September and my partners family are kicking off because we have said that we can't afford to pay for transport to get his family from their hometown to the venue and back. We originally thought months ago that we could afford to but now its coming up so close and with everything else we have to pay for we really can't afford it.
    We don't mind arranging it but would need everyone to chip in and pay a bit each. To be honest it wouldn't cost much for each of them if they all travel together.
    My family are all arranging their own transport with no problem and don't expect us to pay for them.
    My MIL is saying that she can't afford it but to be honest i don't think it would cost more than £15 each which I think is reasonable to expect them to pay out.
    She had an argument with my OH earlier on the phone and basically said she won't come!
    Really annoyed, surely people can put themselves out just for one day?!! It's her son's wedding!

    I could understand if she was struggling with money but they are not struggling which is why I am so annoyed.
    It's not far to travel either, from their town to the ceremony venue is about 10 miles and from there to the reception is about 15 miles. You would think we are asking them to travel from the other end of the country!

    What do you girlies think? Am I right to feel so annoyed about this?
    Me and the OH are going to look at flowers tomorrow and was really excited but now this stress has put a bit of a dampner on it really.

    I never thought planning a wedding could be so stressful!!

    I think I might ring around some companies and get a price and then I can tell them how much it would be. I have never been to a wedding where the bride and groom have paid for transporting the guests, we have always made our own way there.

    Would appreciate your thoughts.
  2.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    people make their own way, regardless of where it is, and regardless of who they are in the family! how very rude of them, it was a nice gesture for you to consider it, but if you cant afford it, then you cant afford it, tell them to bog off

    dont ring round anywhere, you dont need the added stress, if she wants to spit her dummy out let her. jut think if she actually didn't come how ridiculous she would sound to other friends and relatives when you explained why she wasnt there

    shes having a paddy, theres no way she wont come over that as she will look unbelievably stupid

    we've had a similar situation with his mother. nightmare. she felt 'excluded' from the wedding planning (despite hating all our ideas and what we had done) and was like, i might as well not come. you do that love. it will be you looking a d1ck when we tell people why you havent turned up

    families eh.

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    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  3.  
    • AlisonM36
      CommentAuthorAlisonM36
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    Yeah I know what you mean by saying 'excluded'. We have had that all the way through the planning to be honest. It's really hard to try to keep everyone happy isn't it!! People seem to forget that its our wedding day. not theirs!
    I think thats why honeymoons were invented, to get over the stress of the wedding!

    thanks for your comments. I'm glad that you agree with me :)
  4.  
    • CommentAuthorFranM76
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    How strange are people!?!?!?!? We're not paying for anyone's transport - and I don't know any bride n groom that has! If my mum or his mum threatened not to come because of that - I'd call their bluff. Like Velcro said, she's the one that will look like an idiot!

    Chin up hun and don't let it dampen your spirit about the whole thing. I haven't really included anyone in our plans other than H2B, it's nowt to do with anyone else. They'll either turn up and be happy to celebrate OUR day with us or not, their choice xxx
  5.  
    • AlisonM36
      CommentAuthorAlisonM36
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    Thanks chick, feeling a bit better about it all now. Will let them sweat and apologise as she hung up on my OH earlier.

    To be honest its partly our fault as we did say we would do it to begin with many moons ago but then you remember everything else you need to pay for and it all adds up.

    Gotta get flowers yet and pay off everything else such as hair, wedding cars, photographers. Don't want to go into debt just to pay for guest transport. I would feel bad if we paid for his family to get there and not my family.
  6.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    I'll put coaches on for guest for the evening and to get to the ceremony. I feel that as I've chosen a venue so far away (almost an hour from the city centre) then it's the least I can do for the people that I want at my wedding.

    Everyone is different though and each to their own most people will make their was to and from the venue though and the coach is another option.

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  7.  
    • StephHsoon2bBodkin
      CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    If my venue was far away from each other then i would pay for transport.. Even if its mini bus, first come first serve.

    But i get what you are saying.. If you cannot afford it, don't do!

    xx

    Members signature icon
    Found the man of my dreams
    Getting Married on the 13th June 2015

  8.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    its not your fault at all, you sometimes get to a point where you have to forgo some things to cut back on costs, we did the same thing with table wine, it was costing an arm and a leg to provide it, so we cut it and his mum went ballistic like you wouldnt believe. it was expected apparently, people will expect it with their meals, its rude not to provide it etc.. etc.. we are having a hot buffet, people can go to the bar while they are waiting to go for their food.

    we also originally had planned on having it, but it was the first to go when we realised we needed to save some money somewhere.

    the best was, why are you having an expensive photographer if you cant afford to give people table wine... gee, let me think, because the photos are more important!?

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    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  9.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    dont you dare ring round for prices ...... thats for your inlaws to do

  10.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    Even though you said you would pay for it, you can no longer afford it and so they should respect that. It's not as if you have left it to the last minute to explain the situation to them. She'll come round :-)

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    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  11.  
    • GemmaR81
      CommentAuthorGemmaR81
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    I hope my family would never expect this, they live all over the place and have to come to Scotland. Your FMIL is out of order, its her sons wedding she needs to stop being a child xxx hope you get it sorted xx




  12.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 27th 2014
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    I would always expect to pay my own way and organise my own transport unless told otherwise. I have been to a couple of weddings where transport from the ceremony to reception was provided, but the only time I've been transported to the ceremony was as a bridesmaid. If you can't afford it they need to accept that, and sort it themselves as your family are.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  13.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Jun 28th 2014
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    Tbh they need to stop thinking it's all about them .... We have all said we would pay for things and then found that things change and we can't .

    It's pathetic of them to say they won't come if you don't pay for the transport ... You need to turn round and just say " well that's your choice "

  14.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 28th 2014
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    It winds me up when people expect their backsides to be wiped, and want a free ride too. People should make their own way there. You have enough to organise without babying people.
  15.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 28th 2014
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    That's ridiculous. We at first thought we could afford transport and in the end we decided we couldn't. If any of them want to be there then they will come.

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  16.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Jun 28th 2014
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    at the end of the day if they CHOOSE not to come because they have had to sort thier own way there they are the ones that look silly.

    i had people ask why Mr Lalas parents weren't at our uk ceremony when i told them it was because we didn't have his nieces as bm`s they just laughed ... who misses out ?

  17.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 28th 2014
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    What is wrong with them. They should jolly well sort out their own transport and should never have expected you to do it in the first place!

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  18.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 28th 2014
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    Additionally, you should not need to get quotes, let them sort it out themselves. You have enough to do and it's not your responsibility.

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  19.  
    • AlisonM36
      CommentAuthorAlisonM36
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 29th 2014
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    Thanks girls :-) really appreciate your comments. Haven't heard anymore from FMIL so we will just see how it goes!
  20.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 29th 2014
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    They should definitely be organising getting there themselves, it doesn't matter about the distance if they truly want to be there x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  21.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 29th 2014
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    Our venue is 40 mins away and only one person has asked about buses, everyone else has just sorted it out automatically x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
 
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