Met my MOH yesterday to pic up some more stuff for my glass painting and do some shopping.
Well its her h2b that keeps saying oh this and that about my h2b.
She decided to tell me (because she doesnt want it happening to me and i deserve to be happy apparently) Her junkie neighbours junkie girlfriend was speaking to her and said that my h2b used to go out with her niece and that he left her after she bought her wedding dress, as i side note she then said oh but i dont know if he knew about her buying the dress. Did she maybe not think that this girl happened to buy the dress and they werent engaged in hopes to be!? My h2b has only been engaged once before and this was before me. I know that whole story.....
Im just soooo fed up of his past coming up like its gonna happen me.
He has changed sooo much since i met him let alone since we have gotten together and all for the better.
Im fed up of it and barely speak to some of my friends because of it but i think they see it as its him taking me away when its not. Im fed up of hearing all their gripes when i just sit and keep my mouth shut about their other halves who i may not like but i dont moan about.
Sorry ladies im just sooo annoyed right now im having such a crap time just now i need to get it out or ill go mad.
X x x
CommentAuthorlolli88
Im sorry people keep on at you!!!
Next time someone says anything just say that his not the same person, they dont know what happened in that relationship and at the end of the day this is something you both want and mainly to SHUT UP!!
If everyone based their current relationships on past ones it would be a never ending circle of self destruction, people learn from mistakes and previous experience. It is more than likely that he was'nt ready to marry the last girl, but knowing how he felt then and how he does now gives him a base to say this is wat I want and your the one I want!!
Keep strong hun!!
Lx
CommentAuthorWeeMintyMonkie
Thanks. We are just going through so much with him not working and his health just now i hate being told about his past when i know all the bad things as hes told me himself. I cant even call my mates just to have a little moan about him not doing the dishes without being told to leave him hes no good and hes stressing me out!! But two days later they will call me moaning that their partners have done something worse and iv to go there there! And its me made to feel crap if i dont. X x x
CommentAuthorMrsGrant2B
surely if they are real friends they would just accept that you have made your decision and are happy with who you are with and be happy for you!
Maybe its time to be on the look out for some new friends x
CommentAuthorlolli88
I kind of agree with MrsGrant2b, maybe you should retink your friends?? I know its hard but you can always message me or come on here and moan about him and his allergy to dishes!! (mines like that too)
i personally would turn to my friends and ask why cant you be happy for me i am happy and i love ... so just either say something nice or shut up
Im now Sarah Marie Ashton
CommentAuthorCowChop
edited
I know for you its the last thing you want to hear them saying but they're intentions are probably good, they just dont want to see you getting hurt, they just dont realise they are hurting you by saying this stuff.
CommentAuthorRockabilly chick
Dont listen to any of them hun. If you are happy and you trust him then its no one elses business. No one knows your partner like you do and the rest is just conjecture. People get jealous when they see happy couples. I know how you feel, my fiance was an alcoholic, he always went to work and paid his bills but he was drinking every night after work and every weekend too. When I first met him again (we knew each other years ago) all the people in the bars in our town knew him cos he is a witty funny guy. My family found out he was Tee total and it took ages for them to trust him (they kept saying he could start drinking again), now they love him as they know he is a good guy. I also got a lot of jealousy from barmaids that fancied him. He hadnt had a serious relationship in years and I know all about his past. I have to live with the the group of friend that he had with his gorgeous perfect lookin (but total cow) ex girlfriend. I've even had to go out with her there because she was friends with them too. Its been so hard sometimes but its now 2 and a half years and we are so comfortable with each other that I dont feel jealous anymore and everyone can see how much we care about each other.
Maybe your friends *think* they are looking out for you, even though they are wrong. You should just say to them that you have been totally honest with each other, you're completely in love and very happy together and if they are not happy for you then they dont have to be involved in your special day and ruin it for you. Dont let anyone ruin it for you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorjo Santa
Hey Minty. I have a similar situation to Rockabilly... mine used to drink very heavily, gambled every penny and has been engaged twice with one further serious relationship. By his own admission he was a mess and was a big contributor to his relationships breaking down. However - the key element is that he hadn't found someone like me, just like your h2b hadn't found you. He had already sorted a lot of his problems out before I came along. He and I are the same age (his ex's were all at least 10 years younger than him) so being a bit more mature than the other girls (I'm 37) I quickly established how to handle to the rest - or help him handle it. I also discovered the kind, caring bloke underneath who craves a secure loving relationship.
When we are out we often see his ex and her family and her mum has said some awful things in my hearing. I ignore it and I think you should too - all we can do is let time prove us or our friends right. Whichever it is, not one of us can predict the future. I never thought I would leave my ex of 18 years. Believe me - that showed who my friends were!
Jo Santa
CommentAuthorLeeny80
Aww Weeminty hopefully she will take the hint soon enough. If she doesn't maybe its time to let rip about her H2B - let her know exactly how it feels!!
Met 27/01/07
Engaged 27/01/11
Becoming Mrs Grundy 28/06/13
CommentAuthorWeeMintyMonkie
Thank you ladies!!
I just needed some positive thinking!
Rockabilly and Jo santa my situation is a bit similar.
When my ex was a doorman he was not a very nice person, Drank loads and other things. I have heard all the stories before i even started seeing him when we were just friends and im still here. He has grown up even more since we have been together. He needed too for his health!! they just dont seem to see that!!
xxx
CommentAuthorMrsowen2b
Minty im the same, my h2b has slept with one women who i see on a daily basis and although she doesnt know that i know they slept together she sometimes will get over touchy with him like a few months ago we had a lock in at the pub and she had her hand on his bum and i looked and she moved it so fast it was unreal. She is due to get married soon so im not to worried about her but i am reminded every other weekend when i have to see his ex because we have their son. its hard but there is a reason he is with you and thats what i keep telling myself he has been here for 2 years now and wants to marry me. I asked him would he have married his previous fiance and he said he would have but it wouldnt have lasted long and there would have been a divorce shortly after because they just werent supposed to be together, she left him for somebody who was at her uni and he said he is glad its over as although he adored her and worshipped her she never felt the same back he said he knows i love him and he hasnt ever been happier because he knows i feel the same as him. I dont know whether he loves me as much as he loved her at the time but i dont really care because im the one he lives with and im the one he is marrying. when your "friends" say something just ask them if they know all about their partners past are they willing to lay all their dirty laundry on the table and still stay with the person? probably not but you are strong enough to accept his past and want to be his future so could they accept that? if not then they cant be much of a friend.
xx
CommentAuthor
Some people just cant get over the past :-/ my H2B was a bit of a bad boy in his day and we have had so many arguments because people just cant keep their mouths shut. I've learnt to just take it all with a pinch of salt and tell the gossipers to stay out of our lives! these people are just jealous that hes with you now, that you're both happy and you're getting married! keep smiling :-)
met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
Had our amazing twin boys 16/05/2008
Finally becoming Mrs Davies on 31/08/2012 will make me the
happiest lady alive :-)
