Hey ladies just need a rant to you lot as I know I can fact hear and not get told to stop moaning lol! So I have fairly big family and growing! I have had to sacrifice inviting some friends to the whole wedding so I can get then all in. I have invited all my cousins some I don't really speak to now but I have great childhood memories with them. Obviously I have invited there wife's/ husbands and there children, and very long term partners. Now we have had a few that have just got new girlfriends and the just assumed that there new girlfriend is invited!! I mean they didn't ask or check if even say 'do you mind if my girlfriend is invited' they just assumed. I can't afford to invite the new girlfriends we are pushing it with the people that are invited let alone adding more people to the day! I'm just soooooo annoyed that they just assumed that they was invited I mean who's wedding is it?? Some times I really don't think people get that it is MY and my oh wedding and nobody else's! (Sorry if that sounded bridezillaish I just annoyed). Xx
Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Wow, the nerve of it! A couple if my relatives have had new partners in the past year but they never assumed nor asked until we did last week at Christmas! Stand your ground hun :) xx
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
we have just added 2 new people to our list who are gfs of OHs cousins, but they have been going out for over a year, one of them 3 years, and have tryed to meet before but have had bad timings with work etc. but i stick to the year rule , if you not been going out for longer than a year, and/or i have not met them they are not coming.
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
Stand your ground if my brother or sil gets a new boyfriend or anyone invited they are not invited I don't want people their that may be their this month and gone the next only long time partners can come Xxx
Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college <3 X
Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together <3 X
To be Mrs Lana Jocelyn Deaton on 23.10.2015 5 years the day
Jamiroquai Arthur Gordon Deaton Born 29/05/2015 My Son Jammy
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
My h2b said he doesn't want to do his speech and say he's so happy the people in the room are sharing our day if he isn't genuinely happy that they are there. Definitely stand your ground and if they don't like it they don't have to come. You could offer an evening invite for the girlfriends as a compromise. X
I'm with the others! I would say about a year too, unless you've met them a fair few times and genuinely like them! Tell them no and that there's no space. When they plan a wedding they'll understand the ways of weddings! X
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorFlossie
I think you do need to stand your ground on this one.. if a few people think it's okay, then other people are going to think the same as well. As a compromise I would invite them to the evening reception, but don't feel you need to give into the pressure and invite them to the day as well. I don't think some people realise how expensive weddings are x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
edited
Like everyone else has said I would tell them no, they have no right to presume that they will be invited. I am the same with my cousins, they are all younger than me and two of them have partners who I have never met, if they are still together by the wedding I am going to invite them but at the moment they are not included on my invite list! Maybe you could invite them to the evening reception but you don't need to invite them to the day time, I know I wouldn't want people I hardly know watching me get married! x
Got together on 14th March 2010
Got engaged on 25th December 2013
Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
CommentAuthorclairenina
Be strong, and say no. If it makes the situation a little easier, tell them why, but they aren't entitled to an explanation. It's your wedding, not their family knees up
CommentAuthorclair
Thank u ladies! We decided if the had been going out a year or more then partners would be invited but not any less. U do plan to stand my ground with this one I just can't afforded for short term girlfriends to come. Xx
Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
CommentAuthorBecky1608
I'm sure they will understand. You've been planning your wedding longer than some of them have probably been together! If not then tough! It's your day and if you"ve already had to cut down on friends attending then they shouldn't even be suggesting inviting their gfs! Xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Good for you! Maybe if they are less than a year, they could come to the evening do/dancing? That way you aren't spending out but they cousins won't get arsy? x
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDeniseA23
Definitely good for you to stick to your guns. I think OwlandtheButterfly's suggestion of extending the new partners an evening invitation is a great compromise and also a nice gesture. Good luck and don't let them push you around xoxo
CommentAuthorAmandaK74
totally agree with the others, If you dont stick to your numbers you caould go on forever adding guests. Just keep an eye on your numbers and stand your ground, good luck x
met 11th December 2010
engaged 2nd August 2013
getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
Good for you standing your ground! Agree that sending an evening invite is a good compromise
CommentAuthorTeresa
yes i agree, for all you know they could separate and meet someone else. A year is a good length of time, i had this with my family and its really difficult but they need to understand that you dont want strangers at your wedding or the "latest catch of the week/month"
CommentAuthorclair
Exactly!! I don't want just any one there at my wedding like I said befor it's been hard enough getting all my cousins there let alone patented that they have just met. Unfortunalty my family all live in Rotherham and I am in Basingstoke (Hampshire) it's a 3 1/2 hour away so I can't invite new partners to just the evening do. I am just going to stick to my guns and say no! If they get upsett by it then they don't have to come! Xx
Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Oh dear, a common problem, I had this with a friend, not even family.
Stand your ground. When they get married and have to accommodate the world and it's mother and pay for it all they'll understand.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorKatieO27
Stand your ground. I had the same issue, I had a cousin RSVP with a plus one she didn't have! I thought it was so clear on the invites and on our website that we have only invited those who the invite is addressed to by name. She now says she 'lost' the invite so just assumed she had a plus on and sent us a card with his name in it. I rang back and said 'um sorry there wasn't a +1 on your invite' and offered for him to come to the evening do, and explained that it was nothing personal and nobody has a +1 (we have invited couples we know by name, i.e. Dad and Sarah not Dad +1) and I was made out to be a terrible person, I didn't even know she had a boyfriend!
She is now saying she will not come to the wedding if she can't bring her'+1', even though I have not given anyone else at all plus ones so it will cause major upset if she gets one!
So my response was don't come then, let me know if you change your mind before the RSVP deadline (I think she will come it was just a ploy to get me to let her bring him as she faltered a bit when I said oh well it's a shame that you won't be there). I am not 'uninviting' him, he was never invited. She is cousin I have not seen for years so I am not being emotionally blackmailed into paying for a meal for her boyfriend who I have never met and am not likely to ever meet. The whole family will be there it's not like she won't know anyone! Sounds harsh but we already have numbers too high and my own brother and sister do not get a +1 as they are single. If she gets to bring him where does it end? It could double our numbers if we let anyone and everyone bring whoever they want.
Do people not get how expensive this all is?? and how hard it is to try to get everyone you want to invite on the list within budget?? And how RUDE it is to just force someone onto the guest list who the bride and groom have never met?!?! And then have the cheek to make out it's ME being unreasonable. BTW I love this page it is so good to see other people are having the same issues, no offence hope you get it sorted. Don't give in! Sorry rant over I have been stewing on this for a few days then saw your post lol!
CommentAuthorErinV
Its amazing how many people can read an invite differently. We addressed one to my nan and her son that looks after so he can bring her. Apparently when my dad dropped it off he got so excited about being invited and went on to say how he thought his son (my cousin) would like to bring his gf. Thankfully we had a discussion with my parents (who are dealing with RSVPs) that they needed to be strict on people and not allow add ons. He explained to my uncle that only he and my man were invited to the day and that we were paying for things ourselves and so numbers would be tight. He went on to explain that evening invites would come out later for others etc and he took it very well. I couldn't believe he just assumed his son was invited without mention on the invite let alone a gf we've never heard of, let alone met!
Stand your ground and don't let people get away with adding - its your day.
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
I have a huge family. My mum is 1 of 23! Only a handful is invited. Its your day, Your way xxx
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorFlossie
1 of 23? Surely you can't mean there are 23 siblings?!
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorCoralLeigh2016
We both have massive families (my dad was one of 9 to give you an idea!) but we're only inviting immediate family/close friends to the day/ceremony part of our wedding. All cousins and their respective partners/children will be invited to the night do only.....this is to keep our numbers down (still 90 for the day without cousins!) and to make it fair so no one is left out.....a lot of our friends are closer to us than our cousins so didn't really see the point in trying to please them.
I'd give it some thought as to who you actually spend time with/communicate with on a close and regular basis and go from there :) hope this helps xx
