so annoyed at the moment, me and my wife to be have set the date for 17th april 2012 (my brothers birthday) and once we told some family members they are now saying for us to change the date as its my brothers birthday and no longer with us r.i.p, we wanted him to be a part of our day, as we celabrate his birthday as a happy day, yet now certain family are still not talking to us because of that date. WHY SHOULD WE HAVE TO CHANGE THE DATE! if he was still alive he would want his birthday celabrated why cant they accept that. sorry for the rant just annoys me that they cant be happy for us x
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorLiz3yy
It's your day, keep it the way you want it. I wouldn't change the date if you have everything set
Can't wait until the day I become Mrs. Johnson :)
CommentAuthorcj
its not just the fact that very thing could be changed its just why not want to celabrate someones life instead of morning it, i no that if he was here he would be over the moon with the date he would say double reason for a piss up lol
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
you knew your brother best .....i think its a lovely way to include him .....
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I can see both sides of it. I can understand how for you it helps you to feel closer to your bother and how you want to share you special day with his. I can also see how other family members who are dealing with it in their own way may feel that it is their grieving time away from them. Its a hard one as you are both right in your own ways.
CommentAuthorNailed
I think it is a lovely gesture.. Families are such pains! You are celebrating his birth.. not his death.. and i think that is very honourable!
Lou x
Start Weight - 17stone 2lb (5/6/11)
CommentAuthorcj
exactly what we said if it was the day of his death i could understand i dunno lol there just pains its there choice if they dont come just goes to show how much we mean to them i suppose x
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
cj can i ask how long it is since he passed away ?
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
Wow I thought by the way you were talking it was something recent. I can see why you are so angry at them kicking off about it with it being such a long time now.
CommentAuthorJilly17
It is your parents who are causing the fuss or other family members?
CommentAuthorcj
i no if it was a year or so i would have decided on maybe changing the date but 10 years later, why morn someone life why not make it as happy as you possibly can?
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorsuzky123
we have gone for the day after we lost my dad. Some people were sceptical at first but warmed to the idea. Had we done it on the actual day though people would have gone mad with us. I was annoyed at first as felt like you did but you have to remember that some people may see it as a sign of disrespect etc. I understand their emotions a little more fully now so have a good sit down and chat with people about this. Only listen to the main family members though as these are the ones that are most important.
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorkimmy
stick by your guns dont let them get you down its your special day not theres x
CommentAuthorcj
other family (my nan) i dont really get on with the mother so doubt she will turn up anyway she hasnt even seen her grandson yet
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
If it is just the one then I wouldn't worry too much and carry on. After all I'm sure your brother would be proud that you have actively chosen to make him a big part of your day. I know if something had happened to me I would be honoured if someone chose the most important day of their life to honour me.
CommentAuthorcj
my nan is the closest family member to me thats why it upset me so much that just 1 day of the year i dont ask for much but the even pull there faces at that grr lol just hope she changes her views , we thought is was a lovely idea but familys ay! lol
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
Have you managed to actually get a genuine reason for her being like this? It might be an idea if you can to let her say what she wants to say and give her reasons and then you do the same and come to an understanding. That doesn't mean you have to change just agree to disagree etc and find a way to move forward. Sometimes it is nothing more than them stuck in a rut and judging by standards from way back when. If she has a genuine reason for being upset would you still want to do it knowing the reasons?
CommentAuthorMrs*Maria*Louise
i know it may be hard for your family to understand but if its what you want, its upto you and the w2b and if you are both happy with it do it, like you've said its been 10 years so it is a good way to remember him and to have him close on your special day , the family may come round eventually good luck xx
We Did It Finally
Now Husband and Wife
It Was A Dream Come True
26/11/11 Best Day Of My Life
CommentAuthorcj
she just said she doesnt think its appropiate to have that as the date we want an wants it to be changed, an thanks x
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorMrs*Maria*Louise
its up to you at the end of the day, its your and w2b day no-one elses ,my h2bs family made us change the date and i so wish i told them tough i just got on with it i regret changing the date and if its sunny on my orginal date and pees down on my new date ill kill them lol and apart from that i also went from a 2pm wedding to a 4pm just to suit them and im happy about it now so if you dont want to change the date dont as you may regret it like i did xx
We Did It Finally
Now Husband and Wife
It Was A Dream Come True
26/11/11 Best Day Of My Life
CommentAuthorcj
i have no intention of changing the date now, the reason me and my w2b got to no each other was because of my brother, i own him a happy day at least, and im sure your day will still be lovely even if it rains fingers crossed it doesnt x
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorMrs*Maria*Louise
well then thats even more reason to be married on that day, im sure your brother would have loved it its a shame the family arent more supportive but like i said they may come round before the day, and aww thank you i hope so xx
We Did It Finally
Now Husband and Wife
It Was A Dream Come True
26/11/11 Best Day Of My Life
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Aww that sounds like a lovely idea - esp as he was your matchmaker. As others have said your date is his birthday, not the day he passed away - it makes a nice celebration of his life :) I'm sure your nan will warm to it, especially as all the planning and excitement kicks in :) xx
CommentAuthorjo Santa
Do you know what? If family weren't falling out or getting touchy over this, it would be something else. It's your wedding day. He is your brother which makes you as entitled to celebrate his life as they are entitled not to attend if they cannot see it as a special thing. Go ahead with your plans, be happy and welcome your brother's presence in memory at your wedding xx
Jo Santa
CommentAuthorjanetx71
edited
i can see both sides also i have lost a lot of family members and i know if one of my daughters chose the date of their brothers birthday (who died as a baby) i would have a huge problem its nothing against them but we all handle grief differently and just as you have a right to say his life should be celebrated so do they to say it should be mourned i think its a lovely gesture its just not one i would have chosed my brothers birthday is a day we think of him privatley and thats all some can cope with its a shame if it really means so much to you then go ahead but at the price of upsetting your nan who you say you are so very close to you need to ask yourself if its worth it or if you can find another way to include him hope you work it out xxxxx
