FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - Family row 8 days before wedding!...

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • JadeE26
      CommentAuthorJadeE26
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I am writing here because I have no where else to vent without it causing more drama! I am getting married next wednesday and as it stands my h2b has fallen out wth his dad (best man) his sister (our cake maker and the mother to one of my flower girls and page boy) and so therefore we have no best man, no cakes, 1 flower girl down and no page boy!

    Basically my sister in law offered to make the cakes when we first booked the wedding over 2 years ago, I was more than grateful and knew it would be a huge saving financially. She has listened to what I want and put her own little spin on it which is absolutely great but my h2b has always been slightly wary with it being family and not a professional. I understand why he is worried but I was more than happy to go ahead and tbh I was not going to be ungrateful! Well now a week before the wedding with my sister in law telling me she was going to make and freeze the cakes today I panicked slightly as have never heard of this before so asked my h2b who then flew off the handle at his sister. He was also slightly annoyed by the fact that as I forgot to give my sil the cupcake cases she was going to cook in white cases ad then move them to the pink.. I undersstand the issue here because the cakes wouldnt sit right in the cases they have not been cooked in however had this just been said I wouldnt be sitting here now panicking about many things!

    He has fallen out with his father due to his mother and father not getting on and there has been no amount of worry about the two of thm being in the same room however just like at his sistters wedding I am sure everyone will act grown up for their childrens sake! Well where the h2b is already stressed and then with the cake stress on top when speaking to his dad today he has also lost his temper at a slight dig towards his mum!

    I understand my h2b is probably very stressed and I understand he doesnt want the cases moved etc nbut I am pretty sure after researching freezing cakes is fine .. Therefore the case situation is easily overcome but he is now saying he point blank doesnt want to do them and he will do them himself .. well hes never made a large cupcake before and I dont want my cakes to look shit :(

    I am feeling so majorly stressed already and this is not what I need ... I dont know what to do :(

    I know no1 will be able to help but I just needed to vent xx
  2.  
    • ocean
      CommentAuthorocean
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    oh dear, it sounds like your not having a good time at the moment. The cakes will be fine, i promise!

    As for his dad and mum, i think everyone needs to sit down and sort out their differences if the day is going to run smoothly. I wouldn't try to cover it up or bury your head in the sand, everything needs to come out so that the wedding can run smoothly.

    Hope you get it sorted!
  3.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 10th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Oh dear. Perhaps after a few hours things might calm down? Maybe if you speak calmly to your SIL you can still get her to do the cakes, and give her the pink cases ready. Perhaps also you can point out that it would be a real shame for her little girl to miss out on the chance to be a flower girl. You can't do anything about the best man, that will be down to him and H2B, but as long as you get someone to take charge of the rings you'll survive. I hope people come to their senses for you.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  4.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 10th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It sounds like he is very stressed, he is over-reacting at things which probably wouldn't normally make him overreact.

    The cakes being frozen beforehand will not be an issue, moving them from the white to the pink won't work :/ but to be honest, (please don't take this the wrong way) he is out of order blaming this on his sister as it is you who forgot to drop them off.... surely rather then flying off the handle at her, the better option would be to ask her not to make them yet and get the pink cases to her as soon as possible? (when I say it is your fault, I don't mean I'm pointing the finger, these things happen... and it wasn't down to his sister) although I do find it very odd that she suggested moving them :/ if anything I would have suggested just using white cases, I have never heard of anyone moving cases.... are the white and the pink the same size though? as if they are you could always just place the cakes including the white cases inside the pink one's and that should sit properly?

    I def don't think him making the cakes is the best idea, as he sounds very stressed already and baking when you are not used to it is extremely stressful, especially with that much pressure on how well they are going to turn out.

    I would sit down and talk to him and try and calm his nerves, try and explain to him that the important thing is that you two get married and if little things go wrong then it doesn't matter. See if you can get him and his sister to sit and talk about the cakes and explain why he flew off the handle... do you think you could get him to apologise?

    As for his dad, you or your fiancé need to speak to him and explain that it is not good enough for him to be making digs about his mum EVER never mind just before the wedding when you have all the worry about whether they are going to get on or whether there is going to be a big argument on the wedding day or not. I hope you get everything sorted hun *hugs*




  5.  
    • RachelE118
      CommentAuthorRachelE118
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree with the others- the cakes will freeze fine, and it's a common method of pre-preparing wedding cakes. Your H2B has probably just fired off out of pure stress and frustration, but he really needs to build some bridges or it will taint the whole day which you really don't want. I really hope you get it all sorted. xx
  6.  
    • JadeE26
      CommentAuthorJadeE26
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thankyou all. I completely agree it was my fault so dont worry lovely I am not offended xx I have tried talking to him but all this has been whilst he is at work so I am hoping now he is home I will be able to talk to him and calm him down. I can safely say I wiill NEVER be able to get his mother and father to talk :( We have two children who hhave to have two separate parties or get togethers just because of this. If they cant be amicable for the grandchildren I dont think I have much help.

    I will update you all on whats happening later xxxxx
  7.  
    • JadeE26
      CommentAuthorJadeE26
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Well nothing got resolved things just escalated and now I am trying to find someone to do my cakes that aren't going to charge me a fortune 1 week before the wedding. I could honestly cry. My partner tried speaking and after simply asking a question was called an ungrateful c*** and told to find someone else to do them! I asked today if she would still be attending the wedding as her kids are part of the wedding party and her reply was if they werent then she wouldnt be coming"! I honestly do not need this stress and am really upset that I am having to deal with this 7 days before the wedding! The last thing I want on my wedding day is a family row ...

    Anyway wish me luck sorting it all out! Still pretty excited that this time next week ill be getting ready to marry my best friend :) xxx
  8.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    i think your h2b needs to go stand in a cold shower calm down and then apologise to everyone

  9.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    At H2B's cousin's wedding, they provided lots of cupcakes and icing and other cake decorating things, and had everyone decorate their own cake. Might be an idea if you can't find anyone to do it. Children will love it. There are some high street places that do reasonably priced cakes, depending on how many people you're catering for. M/S and Waitr0s3 do them. Maybe you could have a one tier wedding cake, and get lots of cake in the same flavour from the high street to cut and serve.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  10.  
    • almost a year wife!!
      CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think u need to get looking for a cake on the high street...

    Hope you sort it though but he really needs to go around and say sorry ASAP AFTER he's calmed down x

    Members signature icon
    Ill marry my hero


  11.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yeah I think high street is the best option.

    As well as your fiancé apologising again after he's calmed down.




  12.  
    • MrsRMalone2b
      CommentAuthorMrsRMalone2b
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    How about blank sponge cakes from the supermarket and just add ribbon in your colours? Or t35co do trays of cupcakes pretty cheap, they're delicious too, they have a little jam in the middle but they are pre decorated.....

    Members signature icon



  13.  
    • clair
      CommentAuthorclair
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 11th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    M&S do very good wedding cakes, they are not bad prices either. You can get sponge cakes with just the icing on, u can decorate it with ribbon and a bit of icing. Or the t35co cup cakes are really tasty too they are £6 for 12 :). Xx

    Members signature icon
    Started going out with my Gorgeous man 7/11/2010
    Got engaged on the 21/9/2013
    became mrs Thornton on the 2/8/2015
    our wedding day was the best day ever :)!
  14.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 12th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'd have to agree with everyone here.

    Definitely look in m&s.
    Get OH to apologise if possible, and I would maybe apologise on his behalf until he does to his sister
    I have to say, I know exactly how it is when it comes to the parents, one of one mind refuses to come to our wedding if the other is there, so you're lucky to have them both there in any case, providing his dad comes around. I'ts not OHs fault they don't like each other and his parents chose each other, so they haven't got a right to bad mouth the other in front of you both.

    Hope everything comes together for you!

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  15.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 14th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    ^ i agree, maybe apologies on his behalf, saying he did not understand that cakes could be frozen and that hes just been very stressed with the wedding so close,and try to get him to apologise if possible

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
 
Enter Now