I went shopping with my mom and bought the most beautiful dress and veil. A-line, very plain with detailing on the bust area. Button cathedral length train and a cathedral length veil with sparkles on it. It's beautiful. We went into the shop to size it up to see if it was any good as we only had about 2 hours spare but I tried it on and we both fell in love. Mom started crying and that was it. It was sold.
Trouble comes when I get home. I show my dad and sister (also my MOH) and neither of them show any enthusiasm. First thing they both say is I can't believe you bought one. Why did you buy one. Then MOH asks me to try it on but I barely get an it's nice let alone the it's wonderful that I feel it is. I don't know if I've done the right thing.
I'm generally feeling a bit low at the moment and now I'm sitting here on the verge of tears thinking I've made a massive mistake.
Has anyone else had a similar experience?
Thank you Emily
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorFlossie
If you love the dress then that's all that matters. I understand it must be a horrible feeling that you're family aren't showing much interest but stuff them, wait until they see you on the day and their jaws drop :) your OH will love you in anything you love and feel comfortable and amazing in, and that's all that really matters! X
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorEmily17
That's the thing. He doesn't like me at the moment because every wedding dress I see I ask him if he likes it. And not only did I fall in love with it but it fitted in with what he was saying he liked too so I know he will like it.
I just feel really deflated as those 3 are the only people who will see the dress before the day. Even my other bridesmaid SIL won't be seeing it so their opinion is really important
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorSammi_with_camera
When is your wedding date? maybe they think it's too soon, I get people ask me wow you have you dress already that's soon? I'm like eh no its not, some people aren't good with weddings. its also different trying on a dress at home than at the shop, any it's nice comments shoukd be ignored, you love the dress, your mum loves the dress and that's what matters :-) plus it sounds gorgeous and your description makes me think you know it's perfect. maybe your moh I'd a bit jealous or is put put she didn't get to go dress shopping?
CommentAuthorFlossie
I think you need to trust your own instinct and judgement. Yeah it's nice to receive compliments and reassurance from other people, but if you truly love this dress and know it's the 'the one' then I would stand by that, regardless of what anyone else thinks. You said your mum cried when you tried it on so you must have looked beautiful x
And yes I did buy my dress early. We are getting married Oct 2017 but I have been to 4 high St dress shops and not seen anything I would even consider buying. Budget meant I had to get my dress for £500 so wanted to check out an outlet dress shop. I Had heard reviews that it's the sort of place you need to keep going in until you find 'The one' which is why we wanted to scout it out. The fact that I found I dress I liked let alone loved meant I couldn't not get it.
Thank you for your lovely comments will trust myself and my mom. Just need somewhere to keep it for 2 and a half yrs!!!
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I think they will probably be more excited closer to the time.
At least your mum was on side... we booked our wedding 20 months in advance and neither of our parents were as excited or interested as we thought they would be earlier on.... it has only been more recently that they are getting excited and listening more to things.
They were probably just shocked that you have bought it so far in advance, but if you love the dress then don't worry about it. Try it on again closer to the time and see if you get a better response from them.
CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
Hi Emily congrats on your engagement and welcome... I had the exact same response from my dad and 3 sisters when I tried my dress on to show them...no expression, no it's lovely or no I don't like it nothing :( I understand how you must be feeling. My mum came with me to try dresses on and she loved the one I chose but now we've started to book things etc none of my family seem at all interested. OH family have been brill. Always saying they can't wait to see me in my beautiful dress, they've offered to pay for a lot of things too. I just wish my family were a bit more enthusiastic as it's their first daughter that is getting married :-/ My mil has got my dress in her wardrobe and it's been there nearly a year lol On a better note your dress sounds absolutely gorgeous. Have you got any pics of it? Xx
Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
My mum and Auntie are the only one's who have seen my dress btw..
bridesmaids might see if before the big day, but I'm not sure if they will or not-I might just keep it as my mum and Auntie who have seen it. MIL has said she wants a surprise, although she explained what she imagines I will get and was pretty much spot on. My brother (who is giving me away as my dad passed away when I was younger) has said he would like to wait and have it as a surprise on the day as well.
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Try not to worry about it - my parents didn't get excited about anything until a couple of months ago and we get married in August (got engaged summer 2013) so they will get there but it does take time I'm afraid. Because your date is so far away, it isn't something at the forefront of their minds. Congratulations though and just enjoy the planning for the moment! Best advice is stick to your guns and instincts x
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorEmily17
Thank you. I love it. Woke up this morning and it was the first thing I thought about so definitely the right one. I'll try to get some pics up later. Not sure how to do that :)
Mom is really into the wedding planning already. so at least I have her to talk ideas through with. And my OH is getting more into it now we've been to the church and venues so looking good
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorFlossie
Emily, you have a 'photo album' section on your home page/profile.. if you click into that you can upload photos. Let us know when they're there and we can go and have a look :) x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorJennK
Nearer the time they will show interest, it seems very far away to other people who aren't the bride and groom sometimes :)
Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3
CommentAuthorclairenina
I think if somebody had the privilege in seeing my dress before the day, and did that, it would be the last time I included them in anything prior to the day. Nobody should make you feel like that. I see your wedding is some way off yet, and maybe their lack of enthusiasm is because it's so far away from your wedding date. I'm not making excuses for their behaviour, just trying to get my head round why they did it.
Most of all, please don't let them cast a shadow over your wedding plans xx
CommentAuthorEmily17
Promise will try to add the photoS later. They were taken by my mom so are not the best but I love it :)
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorEmily17
I think I have managed to load the pics Thought I'd done it but that was the profile picture... Feeling stupid and tired!
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorFlossie
Ahhh it's lovely and suits you beautifully!! x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorEmily17
Thank you. I was looking for something more fussy but with the same train but tried this one on and it was perfect. I'm very short so with heels and a block to stand on its still really long on me so don't get the full effect :) I LOVE it :)
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorJennK
I love the train! The whole thing is beautiful :)
Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3
CommentAuthorEmily17
Thanks! :) keep looking at the pics. I love it
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorEmmilou82
Congratulations on your engagement
Your dress is beautiful. I'm in a similar situation to you, my mum and MOH are not really interested in my wedding but like the others say, because it's not til next year they aren't as enthusiastic as we are! I'm enjoying the planning and so should you..... The others will show interest soon enough. Don't get too disheartened xx
Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx
CommentAuthorStephanieM158
Hi. Im sad to say you're not the only one. Nobody seemed to. Congratulate us on our engagement... And when we discuss savings my soon to be in laws discuss spending our money on new windows and boiler system for our home. Granted these are things we need but I'd have thought people would be a little more thrilled. I've learned to get on with it... I don't discuss anything wedding related with them anymore. My partner likes to talk weddings with me, of which Im thrilled, its nice to keep it personal. Also when the time comes and they realise they have nothing to do on the wedding day they. Can't complain because they didn't want to discuss it.
Chin up gun. Were all here for you!! X
Met 2004
Engaged 2014
Getting Married 2016
CommentAuthorEmily17
Your story feels so similar. We went out with our friends a week after we got engaged and it wasn't mentioned at all. Ended up helping to decide the best man which he wasn't happy about. And then we were talking about a new way of saving with the in laws when mil says. But I thought we could go the Florida theme parks for her daughters 21 St you will come won't you. This was the first we had heard of it with her expecting us to pay for ourselves when for my OH they just went for a family meal. Seemed very one sided and no consideration for what we wanted or needed to do for our future. My oh has his jobs as well as we are doing the big things together so he's really excited. Which is lovely. Only downside is he realised what had upset me Tuesday and now knows I have my dress noooo. But he doesn't know what it's like.
I'm liking this forum. Everyone is excited and happy for each other because they understand!! Is so lovely!! X
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Try not to worry about it. As long as you love it that's what is important.
Some people just don't get excited until under a year to go x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorEmily17
I know. We've been engaged over a year now and only just starting to plan! Partly money reasons but still one hell of a delay.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
You are the one wearing the dress, if you love it then that's what matters. Sod everyone else.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorEmily17
Today we went to the pub and it was bought up by MOH/sister. I love my dress but am really struggling with this. Debating taking it back (I have 14 days) and trying to find something similar closer to the time. What do you all think?
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I think if you love it and you felt it was the one then no, you shouldn't,
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I agree with GF, if you love it and honestly think you'll be just looking for another one the same closer to the time then don't take it back. How gutted would you be if you couldn't find one that matched up to it?
CommentAuthorEmily17
I do love it I really do it us do perfect. And would only be looking for something similar. But I don't think I can mentally put up with the negativity for 2 and a half yrs. she actually said today to my face that she thinks it's a massive mistake.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
She does not have to wear it. IT is so annoying when others put down a dress that the bride obviously loves so much. They should respect that. You love it, you know you are not making a mistake, and like you and Donna said, you would only be looking for a dress similar to that one come nearer the time, and you will be so upset if you could not find one and settled for second best.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Refuse to talk to them about it. If they bring it up again just say, I don't want to talk about it-I've bought it, I love it and I will not put up with this negativity.
I'm sure they will soon forget about it, it's probably only because it's still fresh and they know you can take it back they're going on about it.
CommentAuthorFlossie
edited
Why does it even concern her? It's your wedding, your dress.. You do what you want!!! X
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorEmily17
Thanks all. I'm going to dig my moms hoop (which I'm hoping to wear) at some point and try it on again. It's not going back. I love it too much. But it's quite hard when people are so negative about it..
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Good stuff, glad you've decided it's not going back
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorInDreamland
What is her problem?
Glad you decided to keep it. Sounds to me like someone may be jealous, they're the ones who normally put a dampner on things.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I agree with IDL it sounds like jealousy.
Even if someone I knew bought a dress and I thought it was too early, I wouldn't keep on at it... in fact I wouldn't say it at all if they had already bought the dress.
It's a bit like telling someone you hate their babies name after they've registered them as it.
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Also I'm glad it's not going back :)
Don't give in to other people, I'd also be wary of what she says with regards to other things in your planning as well... it sounds like she might try and cause some issues (I honestly hope she doesn't, but there's nothing wrong with just being a little wary)
CommentAuthorEmily17
Donna. I LOVE the comparison of a dress with a baby's name :) that made me smile
And yes I think at the moment she may cause trouble for us. We were talking about our very tight budget £10,000 and she thew a strop saying how are you going to get this big weddings your talking about for that. Everyone else is being supportive with it saying they will help us sit things to keep costs down. My moms doing flowers and my aunt is helping with all stationary and paying for honeymoon (my 21st birthday pressie I haven't cashed in yet). I'm positive we will get what we want but with her it was a no way. Not worth trying attitude.. Puts a downer on things
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017