Wedding Forum - Family i don't know!

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Gemitbygemma

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SB Bridal Hair

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For Your Eyes Only Portraits

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Sounds Iconic

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medici design weddings & events

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UKbride Supermarket

Romantica Classic Studio 80 - Wedding Album
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Family/Attendants Stress: Family i don't know!

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- CommentAuthorFreyaA
Hello All!

I have needed to rant this out so sorry you are my sounding board;
Am I being unreasonable? Of Course the standard has happened, Parents keep telling us who we 'have to invite' It started with my mum, i love my mum she is my best friend she wanted to invite some of her friends, she put them under the category of 'helping out on the day' like serving drinks etc, this i allowed. Little did i know that for each person who helped out i had to invite their Partner and Kids! so i put my foot down, NO MORE! This worked. for 2 months.

In the meantime H2B has fallen out with his mum as she has ACTUALLY invited loads of family he either cant stand, or hasnt even met! at least my mums paying for parts of the wedding, from his family we would be lucky to get a fiver in a card as a wedding present. Not impressed.

NOW my Nanny has decided to throw a fit over Shirley and Lynn ?!?!? You know them as much i as i do! 'They are my only surving cousins Freya, they are important family etc etc', i reply, 'If this is the case how come i've never met them? I've been alive 23 years...' 'Lynn was MY bridesmaid' says nan. '....and?' say i.

BUT Nanny and grandpa are paying for the marquee, do i let them have Shirley and Lynn? Even though they already have Moira and Paul? John and Dorris is on the cards... or do i continue to put my hoof down and pout like a child repeating, 'but its MY wedding' which iv been doing and apparently getting nowhere...

HELP BRIDES!!!!
- CommentAuthorMickaylaH
Its hard coz it should be your day how you want it and not want others want. Especially when it comes to people you don't know. your Mum, Nanny and Grandpa should be paying because they want to help you have the day you want and not because they feel this will make you invite who they want.

I know its hard as you don't want to upset people which is a problem that keeps re-accuring ay my wedding.

xx
- CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
If they're paying a large chunk of money towards your wedding, I think it'd be nice to let them have some guests. They're probably thinking they'll be a lot of younger people there, and they want some people there that they can socialise with. Maybe tell your Nanny & Grandpa they can invite xx number of people.
- CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
On the one hand I think yes they are paying for a huge chunk, let them have a limited amount of guests tell them that amount and stick to it. On the other hand, they are paying because they want to (or should be!) not to use as black mail. 'either you let me have them or I will make you feel guilty/wont pay' (not saying they will but you get the gist!) Either agree to a small amount of extra guests or put you foot down and stick to it. Don't feel guilty either way. At the end of the day it's yours and h2b's wedding so have it your way xx
- CommentAuthormiss_finch
My mum tried this once with me and I quickly put her in her place... with the help of my dad. We explained that yes they were putting towards the wedding and OH and I though it was a lovely gesture but ultimately it was our day! Dad reminded mum she had her turn 25 years ago and she hasn't mentioned it since!!!
if you want to allow some of their guests then thats up to you but agree with H2B who and how many. Don't let them guilt trip you or pressure you xx

The future Mrs Conroy September 2016
Vicky and Matthew 4th June 2011
Sonny George Conroy 02/10/2012... my world!!!

- CommentAuthorFreyaA
Lol I added up for mum all the guests I want, and its 9, added up the guests that are invited for her or to avoid arguments and its 22! And rising. At least I can just speak plain to my mum, but my nanny is a different story entirely! OHs mum is the biggest probl as I just dont feel its my place to say...at least not until the OH has had a good crack, then my guns will be ablazing!
- CommentAuthorAna40
If it was me i would explain that it simply wasnt possible for them all to come. However they could have 2 guests each (whatever number you choose), who would they like to invite. You still maintain control but they still feel like they have some control as theyve made a decsion. X
- CommentAuthorFernP61
Sorry but they have no right inviting people without your day so first I would go mad of h2bs mum done that although now the weddings getting closer I wouldn't be surprised if she will be dropping hints for people to come no wayy x
- CommentAuthorVelcro
they'll soon realise they aren't coming when they don't receive an official invite lol. then it will be his mum looking stupid

Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!