I'm so upset. My mum and oldest brother haven't spoken in 14 years and my mum and grandfather have also had a recent fallout. I'm stuck in the middle of it all, and after my brother got in touch with me last week after 7 years, wanting to meet up, I agreed and went to see him today. I told my mum when I got back and she detonated. She now hates me and my fiancé. She's said she won't have anything to do with me if I'm in touch with my brother and that me and my fiance are disloyal and she'll never trust us again. She also shouted that she doesn't give a *$#@ about our wedding. I'm heartbroken. I haven't fallen out with anyone, I'm just the one stuck in the middle who's trying to mend all the family rifts. I want all my family to be there on my wedding day but at this rate I'll have none of them. No mum to help me get ready for the happiest day of my life, no dad to give me away, no brothers (one of whom is best man and the other giving a reading and being a witness) and probably no older brother and grandad either. Our wedding is 11 weeks away and I'm dreading it. This should be the most exciting time now in the run up to the big day but I just want to cancel the whole thing. Has anyone else gone through anything like this so close to the wedding? Did things get sorted out or not? My family are all so stubborn. I'm the only one who ever tries to mend bridges and make things better but it just backfires on me. I just don't know what to do xx

That's really bad for you - aren't they all supposed to be grown ups too?? How can anyone ever expect a person to choose them over another family member is beyond me - your brother and mums gripes are with each other, and its not fair for her to drag you into by 'taking sides'. It's very immature.
Does she not realise that she risks driving everyone away and she'll end up very lonely with no family left?
Do whatever you feel is right in your heart xx

Thanks so much ladies. You've hit the nail on the head really regarding how childish they're all being. I'm hurt more than anything that my own mother has said that she doesn't care, and that not one of my family members will make up and put my feelings first when I always do what I can for them. Definitely going to just focus on our happiness and like you say, if they can't be there for me I'm better off without them there. We've waited 6 years for this wedding and I've been through a really bad illness so I had hoped they could put my feelings first just got once. If anything I want to marry my fiancé more than ever before...he's the only one who loves me unconditionally and is always there for me x

Big hug. You've got every right to see your brother, whatever caused the rift. You need to put yourself first, even if no one else will.

I've had a couple of situations like this, and luckily we have made up! Sometimes it's because you're all so alike... I really hope your mum comes to her senses and sorts this out as it will all only cause regret in the long run! My grandad and dad fell out for about 5-6yrs and he treasured us grand kids but dad wouldn't let us see him, unfortunately my grandad died in a horrible frontal car accident not long after they made up ... Life is short, no one knows how long they have, be it years or months to be petty and argumentative, maybe they need reminding of this xxx

Thank you so much all of you, I can't tell you how much you've helped me. It've been in tears reading through your comments as I'm so relieved to know I'm not the one being unreasonable here (I was beginning to doubt myself!) and that some of you have been through similar situations yourself and got through it. The sad thing is my best friend's sister died on Tuesday at the age of 37 and that was what made me decide to accept my brothers offer and go and meet him. Life is far too short, and my brother is alive and well. He came with his wife and my 10 year old niece who i only met once briefly when she was 3, and it really made my year to be able to see them again.

I really hope and pray they will sort this out, but even if they won't, I just need my mum to agree to be civil so I can at least enjoy my wedding day, and for her to actually speak to me and make things up so I can have her, my dad and younger brothers by my side. Surely that's not too much for your daughter to ask on her wedding day?

Thanks again for your replies and your kind words :) you're the best xxx

I really hope your family come to their senses and it all works out for you xx

you need to give your mum a good talking too, lala hit the nail on the head, it's not the school yard, its your family!! is your mum the kind of person to fall out with people and hold a grudge forever? Hugs hun, not what you need at anytime, never mind so close to your wedding, what an awful thing for her to say to you.

I tell you what though, it will be HER looking back in regret if she doesn't turn up, you will have your day and it will be amazing.

Go on Lala! Do the slap!

I always love lala's slaps! Could you not get them all into a room but secretly and get them to all air their opinions?x

Weddings bring out arguments and opinions with everyone tho tbh! It's such a shame though :-( x

Wow, Im at a loss for words on this one! Massive hugs hun, and the best of luck. I hope everyone comes to their senses but meanwhile you have the most special day coming up, concentrate on that xxxx

I feel like this is going to happen to me closer to our wedding. I know quite a few family members on my side dont get on, so im expecting some big rows.

Ive talked to the OH about it and ive said that if family members don't come or kick off, then they arent worth worrying over. As long as the OH turns up on the day then thats all i need :D

I have a similar situation with my sister, she is jealous as I am the youngest of 4 and the first to get married when she doesn't even have a boyfriend. My mum and step-dad think a holiday for them is more important than helping me out with my wedding and when I asked isn't my day more important? my sister has a go at me for it 'all being about me!' When in fact for the first time in my life there is something going on about me and not her for a change! From now on I haven't mentioned the wedding at all around her anymore and only ask my mums opinion every now and again. I just cant deal with childishness like that! Give them a piece of your mind and say I want all of you here and no non-sense on my day, If you want to argue after then fine, but its MY day and keep the peace!