Ladies, I need to get this off my chest!

A bit of background. H2B and I have been together for nearly 4 years, he has a 16 year old daughter from his previous relationship who I have never met, this is at her refusal. Even though her parents break up was nothing to do with me, I think she secretly thought they may have got back together if he had never met me.

If he wants to see his daughter he has to go to his ex's house which I don't really like if I'm 100% honest but I have never said anything as I would never dream of standing in the way of him seeing his daughter.

I asked if I should put his daughter on the guest list and he said yes which of course I've done. He's now said that he doesn't think that she will come without her mother and would it be ok to invite her as well?!!!

Am I being unreasonable to say no, I think that would be weird, I don't want someone at my wedding who's been calling me an effing b'tch to his family members (this was a while ago) and although she's his daughter am I so terrible to not want someone there who basically hates me for no good reason?!

I'm probably sounding like a right cow but I don't want the day spoiled by 2 people who most probably won't want to be there anyway. Phew that feels better just writing it down!

Kylee,

Ive got a lil girl from a prev relationship & i wouldnt dare dream of inviting him to my wedding, particually because we dont get on but i wouldnt want to upset my h2b or even dare get him to think about being put in that position.

I dont think your being a b*tch, i think your being reasonable, why should you have someone at your special day that obvisouly
doesnt like you (meaning his ex) Think you should have a good chat with your h2b.

Surely if his daughter wants to be there then she will be, why dont you offer her to bring one of her friends then she wont be on her own (i know she will have family there)

Hope you sort something out hunni, try not to stress to much

xx

She'd be welcome to if she wanted. Also her nan, aunty, uncle, 2 great aunts and 2 cousins will be there so it's not like she'll be on her own or anything. Personally I think she'll just refuse to come.

I said to H2B an outright no! Lol. I just thought I'd start a thread and check that I wasn't being out of order or anything.

I did have visions in the church of "does anyone have any reasons why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony..." and her (the ex!) standing up!

It's your day not theres, i wouldn't want them there and your H2B should support you!!

I know! Thanks girls, makes you feel better to know that others think the same. :0)

He was understanding when I said no, I was just a bit shocked that he even asked in the first place.

When he gets home from his mums I'm going to ask him if he'd ask his daughter if she'd like to be a bridesmaid-that'll return the shock! Seriously, I would very much like to meet her but I can't force it. When H2B told her that he was getting married she abruptly changed the subject and he doesn't want to upset her by talking about it again although i pointed out that she might be feeling like she isn't wanted there. *Sigh* Maybe I'll just leave it with him?

I think your well within your rights to say no! If the daughter gives a damn about her dad's happiness then she will come and see him get married! Without needing mommy to hold her hand!

I was 16 when my parents split up! And yeah secretly I wished they would get back together but then when my mom got with my step dad and then re-married I was happy for her! I was there at the wedding and even did her photography for them! She needs to grow up if you ask me!

I agree, I would try to use the wedding as a way to have her in your lives and I think it would be great to make the offer and fingers crossed she comes round. You cant force it but maybe h2b needs to be a little more direct and find out what the problem is, as I said before, she isnt a little kid anymore but she has obviously been influenced by her mum and her opinions! At the end of the day all you can do is let her know she is welcome and wanted at the wedding

OOoooh NO. I would defo say a big no to that. Your day my dear - you do not want any stress at all. Also i would be v suspicious if the ex actually agreed to come along.....a sure "i object" moment!!

i havnt read all the comments but this is the same situation me and h2b is in!

he has 2 girls who are 14 and 11 and the youngest is a nightmare. she doesnt even like seeing my h2b let alone me and when she does she is so rude to me which upsets me! now i havnt seen them in a number of months because they wont even see h2b. he too has to go round to his ex's house which i hate. the youngest also thinks that her mum and my h2b would have got back together if it wasnt for me!

we have invited them to the wedding but when we were talking about it h2b asked the same thing about their mum coming. i said no straight away! i just wouldnt feel comfy! explain this to h2b and fingers crossed he will understand! he cant really expect her to go to your wedding! xx

well i have to admitt i cant have my kids at the weddingunless erx vhusband brings them and i dont really want him there

This is similar to my situation, i will give u the background.....
Me and h2b got together in the july, when he gets a phone call from his ex's mother to say she is 5 months pregnant. Well H2b told me that he had been with ex (cristy) for 12 weeks at the beginning of the year and she fell pregnant on valentines day (of all days :@) my h2b wanted her to keep the baby but she refused said she was too young (she was 20 at the time and my h2b 28) so she told him she would "sort" it and they would just see each other around. She had texted him in april saying she was on her way to have baby sorted in a private clinic which she had paid for etc. So when h2b had this phone call he was a little shocked and was to scared to tell me at first and my "aunty" told me!! yes my "aunty" knew before me! anyway he told me and i said i already knew etc. She hadnt actually been for the abortion and hadnt told her mother until she was 5 months preg that she was pregnant. In the beginning she was a complete B*tch and i could have swung for her. I met my h2b son in a cafe! yeah he wasnt welcome in their house so when we got our house i said this stops he comes to us here not to a cafe. She used to tell dave i wasnt allowed any where near jack etc etc and now were amicable we talk and although we not friends we are civil with each other.
now im having jack as a pageboy so do i have to invite cristy as jack will be coming up to 4 and it could be a long day for grandparents to have to look after him? or just get her to collect him at night?

xx

i would get her to collect jack when he's getting tierd hun

My H2b has a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship. his daughter is bridesmaid and i aint inviting his ex to our big day. people might think im a b***h for it but end of day its my big day and im only wanting people there who i want. and his ex aint one of them.

just member ladies its your big day and only have people there who you want to be there.. just because H2b has children from previous relationships dont mean the mother of the child has to be invited x

I would explain to him that you are not comfortable with the situation and that his daughter is 16 so it is up to her to decide whether or not she comes to his wedding as she has the legal right to choose for herself. Not only this but his daughter doesn't need to be chaperoned by her mother if she is spending the day with her father.

Personally having a moody cow on your big day who doesn't like you who you have never met is never ideal and I would tell the cow to fuck off! That and the fact that even if she was a friend of his who i had never met, i wouldn't want to be introduced on my big day!

Good luck and hope you get this sorted x

Wow, quite a common problem eh? Lovelylainee that really made me laugh! Well i think we'll all in agreement-daughter very welcome but ex definitely not! Lol.

Thanks for the comments girls. :0) xx

what a situation and i feel for all of u ladies that are going through something like this, I would not have my ex at my wedding or my h2b ex's. my friend got married in dec and she had her h2b son there and her daughter, and she got her h2b ex pick her son up before the night time do and she had to wait outside and some one brought him out.

hope u all sort things out xxx